Jan. 21, 2026

I’m Single, Now What? Rebuilding Your Financial Life After Loss or Divorce

I’m Single, Now What? Rebuilding Your Financial Life After Loss or Divorce
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Season 2

When a marriage ends—through divorce or death—you are suddenly forced to make financial decisions you never expected. In this episode, our financial advisors walk through the core money principles that help widows & divorcees rebuild with confidence: paying yourself first, spending within your means, limiting debt, & wills & estates. You’ll learn what to prioritize in the first year, how to think about taxes and investments, & why purposeful generosity can be part of a healthy new beginning.

Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We

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make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No

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liability explicit or implies shall be extended to W FOURCY

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Radio or it's employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments

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should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for

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choosing W FOURCY Radio.

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Welcome to the Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,

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six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

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w fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we

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will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,

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as well as a focus on health and wellness. Now,

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let's join your host, Anita bell Anderson, as together we

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start with Asking Good Questions.

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Hey, hello, and welcome to the Ask Good Questions podcast.

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We are so happy that you're here today and we

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have a wonderful podcast episode today with a fellow advisor

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in this crazy industry, We're going to talk a little

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bit about being women in this industry. So with that said,

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I would like to invite Lena Nebelle to the podcast stage.

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Hello Lena, Hello, thank you for having me.

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Yeah, so, Lena and I are why I'm still in Hawaii.

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She's on the East Coast, so but you know, the

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magic of technology makes it work. So let me tell

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you a little bit about Lena. She is a CFP

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in MSFS where I have my letters. But they're basically

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professional designations that take a lot of work. Wouldn't you agree?

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I would absolutely agree it takes a lot of work

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to get these designations. She is the president and CEO

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of b FS b FG Financial Advisors, and she joined

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that firm in twenty eighteen and had nearly two decades

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of financial advisory experience. So in her in her mind,

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being a you know, being a successful and trustworthy financial

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planner meant taking the time to listen and carefully understand

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each each client's you know, issues and fears and problems,

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and having a deep bench of team members to collaborate with.

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And she discovered her passion for finances as a at

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a young age from setting up lemonade stands. You must

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have been as cute little things to you know, having

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a lemonade stand I can just so. But she also

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on the other side, she witnessed the financial struggles of

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her parents as she grew older. So in two thousand

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and seven she became the first female president of the

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Financial Planning Association of Maryland, where she was also presented

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with a Leadership Award for her board service. And she's

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passionate also, and I think this is fantastic. She's passionate

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about inspiring young students, girls especially to want to pursue

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careers in finance, and is a regular guest speaker for

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middle and high school classes and after school student groups.

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I think that's just fantastic.

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Thank you.

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Is there anything else you'd like to add to that?

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No, I think we're good.

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We have left about being able to have long discussions

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just between the two of us about our women because

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it has been for the large, for a large shield

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many many years, very male, male dominated women bring a

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very I would say, just a different way of listening

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and kind of a nurturing approach that a lot of

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people enjoy. And she, like I have had experiences where

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people say I want to work with her, and so

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it's always been it's always been great. So how how

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did you come into this. Let's start with that. How

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did you come into this industry?

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So going back in time, when I went to college,

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I went to your College of Pennsylvania. At that point

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in time, my mom took me to the library to

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research all the scholarships that were available. I knew I

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wanted something in business, but I wasn't sure. What I

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realized through that process was because my older brother didn't

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have to do all this work to try to get

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financial aid and scholarships. And she told me that my

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grandfather set aside money for my brother, but that women

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don't go to college. So right then I started having

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kind of that mindset of the differences of male and female.

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So I went to York and I started pursuing different

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areas of business. I started the first investment club at

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the college, and we went to the New York Stock Exchange.

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We went to Philly to where we saw different hedge

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fund companies, and the one thing that was extremely apparent

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was that I was one of the minorities there. You know,

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there was the females that I saw were the secretaries.

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Okay they and that wasn't what I aspired to be

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at that point in my life. You know, I wanted

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to be more of the decision makers, not necessarily you know,

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the boss. But I didn't just I didn't. I wanted more,

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I guess is the best way to say it. And

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actually a couple of years ago, I was looking back

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in some photo albums and I found the picture that

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we took on the bus traveling to New York and

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it's just me, me rather gentlemen on the bus going

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on to the exchange. So through college, I just I

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started gravitating more towards investments, more towards financial planning. I

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landed an internship with back then it was Dean Witter. Then,

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as I got caught out by other companies, it was

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very Wolf of Wall Street mentality there, and I realized,

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you know, that's probably not at my speed at this moment.

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So I then got an internship with a financial planning

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firm and fell in love. I knew I wanted to

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get the designations of a certified financial planner. I really

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wanted to help clients in all areas of planning.

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And then from there it just took off.

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Well see, and my feeling is, if you tell a

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woman that you can't do something, then guess what, right

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he's going to do.

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It exactly exactly.

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And you know, I grew up visiting my mom at work,

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and she worked at the local police station, the local

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county police station, where she was kind of in this

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little group in the finance committee with all these other women,

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and so I was kind of around a lot of

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working women. So I knew I wanted something along those lines.

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I would watch my mom work a full day, come home,

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get dinner, get the kids to sports activities, and do

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all those things.

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And so I already had.

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It in my mindset that that was going to kind

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of be my life. But I think it just drove

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me faster on really differentiating myself within my classmates and everything,

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on doing something that most women don't.

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Right well, and where you started out, right, you know,

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fairly early. I started out in this industry after a

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huge divorce. And so one of the things when I

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saw when I met Lena. We have both written and

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we've both been concerned about widows and divorces and the

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massive changes that that can mean for them as they're

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going into a brand new phase of life. So that's

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primarily what we're going to talk about today, is because

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there's way too many of those out there who need

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some help right and they need to know what to

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do about it. So it's the beginning of a new year.

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When you think about a widow or a divorce facing

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a new year alone for the first time, what's the

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very first thing you would want her to hear from

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a financial advisor?

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You know, I think from the standpoint of if they're

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newly divorced or they just lost to spouse and you're

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kind of starting off the year. What I honestly, what

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I tell clients in those situations is I'm here, we're here,

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we're a resource for you. We're going to get through this.

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And so it's kind of starting off the beginning of

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the year of coming up with let's talk about two

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to three things that we're going to tackle, and we

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just kind of take those bite sized pieces and work

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together each quarter each month to tackle it. I think

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when you put the laundry list together, of this is

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everything we're going to do in the year, that's overwhelming.

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Nobody's going to do that.

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You go over there.

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So, as you mentioned earlier, you know, women tend to

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just we have a different way of listening. We're more

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patient with certain things. I love how the title of

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this is ask good questions, because that's all I do

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is ask questions. I think that's one of the things

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that makes me a great planner because I ask a

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lot of questions. It annoyed my brother a lot growing up,

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but I did it anyway. So I think by kind

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of setting the stage first and foremost and letting them

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know I'm here or your support system and everything, and

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then starting to come up with what are the things

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that we need to start working on.

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What's the most important, What's not that important that can

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wait a few months, but let's get the things that

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need to get done right now right Well.

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Both of us have worked with clients that are, you know,

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super vulnerable. It's just a overwhelming time. Like you said,

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so what have you learned about the emotional side of

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money decisions right after the death of a spouse or

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a divorce, Because you know, what I've told people is

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this is it's a death, either a death of a

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marriage or a death of that person that you relied on.

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So what do you think about the whole idea of

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emotional decisions around money.

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Everybody's going to have emotional decisions around money, and so

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it's our job to remove that emotion. I'm actually personally

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going through it right now where I've lost my uncle

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about a month ago to Parkinson's and working with the

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family on making some certain decisions that have to be made.

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And I told them that I have to remove the

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emotions and put the financial advisor hat on and tell

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you this is what makes the most sense financially for

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the family for long term, et cetera. And that's hard

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because we're not in their shoes. So it's giving them

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the education and the confidence on being able to make

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certain decisions. And what I would say is specifically around

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a divorce, most women tend to want to hang on

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to the items that they don't need to hang on to.

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And you may have some real life experience on this one,

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but the house, right, everybody wants to keep the house.

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I didn't have you when I was going through this,

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darn it.

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And it's it's so tough because I get it. I

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get why you want to hold onto that house. But

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you give up a pension, you're giving up you're signing

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away the four and K, You're giving up all these

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other things that you will regret down the road. So

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I try to make it very clear in a compassionate

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way of why we may not want to keep the

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house and how this can benefit you and your family

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into the future by maybe shifting something around differently.

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Yeah, well you mentioned just a little bit about waiting

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or maybe not waiting in those early months after after

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this loss, after this divorce. What do you think are

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the financial decisions that absolutely should not be rushed and

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which ones can't wait?

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So I think the things anything that's an irrevocable decision,

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you know, we want to kind of hold off on.

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I don't want to take all the life insurance proceeds

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and pay off all the debt right away or a

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big mortgage, because maybe we need those proceeds to generate

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income if the spouse isn't working. So I think first

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we take a look at the debt picture of do

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we have bad debt, Do we have some credit card

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debts that we can just quickly clean up. I think

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that's important depending on if the spouse is working and

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if we need any income. Starting to look at do

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we have to file Social Security? Do we have to

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apply for pension survivorship? Are their assets sitting out there

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we need to get into your name so that we

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can start generating income. So it's really looking at the

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clients balance sheet and cash flow picture to then prioritize

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what must be done.

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Now.

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Well, I know, I characterize myself as being curled up

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in a little ball sucking my thumb. You know, I

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just it just completely, Lena, It completely discombobulated me for

229
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a while. And so, how do you think grief or

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shock show up in the way people think about money,

231
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And how do you feel you can help them slow down,

232
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take a breath to start making some wise decisions.

233
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I see grief and shock and emotion show up by

234
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how they're spending. They're you know, they're they're spending on

235
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things that they really don't need because they don't want

236
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to focus on what.

237
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They're actually going through.

238
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And you know, that's us having to be proactive and

239
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have those conversations with them and reach out to them

240
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frequently and check in and kind of get a handle

241
00:14:36.279 --> 00:14:38.799
of If I get a feeling that somebody is going

242
00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:41.840
to start spending through some money and everything, then I'm

243
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reaching out to them more frequently on making sure things

244
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get taken care of. And maybe that's when we do

245
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pay off some debt so that they don't have that

246
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cash that's available.

247
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But it is tough.

248
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I mean, you know, especially when somebody is emotional or

249
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almost paralyzed with fear.

250
00:15:00.279 --> 00:15:02.799
You're not sure should I buy it? Should I not

251
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buy it?

252
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And I think as advisors, we have to show that

253
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we are that support system and we're here to help

254
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them through those decisions. And sometimes that's telling them the

255
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things that they don't want to hear, which is, no,

256
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you shouldn't give a certain amount of money to your

257
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kids because you need it right right.

258
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Yeah, you make me think I have a very good

259
00:15:27.080 --> 00:15:28.759
friend and if she's listening to this, she's going to

260
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know who she is. She called me every single day

261
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to see how I was doing. I mean, it was,

262
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without fail, she was calling me to see how I

263
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was doing. So what I'm referring to is kind of

264
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that support system. So what are some ways that widows

265
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or divorcees can build that support system. Maybe maybe it's

266
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going to be professionals, Maybe it's going to be friends,

267
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maybe it's going to be family, Because I think there

268
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is a real danger in making financial decisions and isolation.

269
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And so I think what you're talking about, you know,

270
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it's how do you encourage people to do that, to

271
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kind of step back and get that support system going. Yeah.

272
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I love the support system I learned. I have a

273
00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:18.279
great example from early on in my career that I

274
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share often with clients that are going through this.

275
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I met a new client. She was young, she.

276
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Had a son who was about eight, twin daughters who

277
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are about three, and lost her husband at an early age,

278
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and she would have her sister in law at either

279
00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:41.039
every meeting or she would just run through the recommendations

280
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that I was giving her to her sister in law

281
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because she would say, Lena, I trust you, I'm just

282
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all over the place right now.

283
00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:51.480
I just need a clean set of eyes. And I

284
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respected that and I understood that.

285
00:16:53.360 --> 00:16:56.960
So to this day, when somebody is going through that situation,

286
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I ask them, is there somebody that you'd like to

287
00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:01.559
have as part to this meeting? Is there anybody that

288
00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:04.880
you want to incorporate in these conversations to help to

289
00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:08.279
bounce those ideas off of Sometimes I think advisors are

290
00:17:08.279 --> 00:17:10.640
threatened by that which they shouldn't be. I think it

291
00:17:10.680 --> 00:17:13.880
helps with the relationship. I think that there's you know,

292
00:17:14.200 --> 00:17:18.319
we do some extra steps at our office to where

293
00:17:18.359 --> 00:17:22.200
we incorporate different type of info sharing letters to where

294
00:17:22.759 --> 00:17:25.599
you know people can kind of join that conversation, ask

295
00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:29.200
those questions, and be their advocate. So I love it

296
00:17:29.240 --> 00:17:31.640
when people have that support system because it gives that

297
00:17:31.759 --> 00:17:35.079
client that extra confidence as well, because when you're caught

298
00:17:35.119 --> 00:17:37.240
up in that feudal position, you are not feeling good

299
00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:40.839
about yourself. You are not confident whatsoever in any decision

300
00:17:40.839 --> 00:17:43.400
you were going to make. But when you find the

301
00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:46.160
professionals that you enjoy working with, that you trust, and

302
00:17:46.240 --> 00:17:50.400
then it's validated by close friends and family, that makes

303
00:17:50.400 --> 00:17:51.200
it that much better.

304
00:17:52.599 --> 00:17:54.880
You know. What I've thought of too, just came to

305
00:17:54.920 --> 00:17:57.920
my mind was if you have that person, you know what,

306
00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:01.160
it's going to benefit them because they're listening and they're

307
00:18:01.200 --> 00:18:03.880
watching you go through this, so it's going to help

308
00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:07.440
them in their own you know, it may affect how

309
00:18:07.480 --> 00:18:10.319
they do some planning down the road too, which I

310
00:18:10.359 --> 00:18:12.920
think is just a bonus for that extra person.

311
00:18:13.480 --> 00:18:13.799
Oh.

312
00:18:13.799 --> 00:18:18.799
Absolutely, I have this one client. Her sister is always

313
00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:21.680
part of the conversation because her sister would always manage

314
00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:24.319
the money. But her sister realized, Okay, it's getting a

315
00:18:24.359 --> 00:18:28.319
little too complicated now, so you should meet with an advisor.

316
00:18:28.440 --> 00:18:31.759
So the sister is part of the conversation, and always

317
00:18:31.799 --> 00:18:34.799
the sister will say, well, you know what, on my situation,

318
00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:38.000
I kind of have this going on. I wonder if

319
00:18:38.039 --> 00:18:41.039
I should do so. Yeah, it's just it's a funny dynamic,

320
00:18:41.079 --> 00:18:42.240
but you're absolutely right.

321
00:18:43.559 --> 00:18:48.599
Well, let's let's transition into the scintillating topic of cash

322
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:53.720
flow and budgeting. Paying yourself first, let's talk about some

323
00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:56.319
of the issues I want to you know, paying yourself first.

324
00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:00.759
I think people have a really hard time doing Yeah,

325
00:19:00.799 --> 00:19:03.720
what does that look like? You know when maybe some

326
00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:07.559
people may not know what's what's paying yourself first, but

327
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:11.480
what does that practically look like for someone who's income

328
00:19:12.519 --> 00:19:14.960
and expenses may have changed dramatically.

329
00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:18.880
Yeah, absolutely, you know, I think from the from the

330
00:19:18.920 --> 00:19:22.400
pay yourself first mentality as you know, and you know,

331
00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:25.039
kind of educating your listeners as well. You know, it's

332
00:19:25.119 --> 00:19:29.319
about putting money aside into other investments, other savings before

333
00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:32.400
it really goes into your spending bank accounts. So you're

334
00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:35.519
kind of starting to give that money to you but

335
00:19:35.640 --> 00:19:40.839
through different vehicles. And it's challenging for clients where maybe

336
00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:43.920
they've never budgeted or they don't know what they're spending on.

337
00:19:44.880 --> 00:19:48.119
So I try to walk them through some very basic

338
00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:50.400
steps of you know, kind of looking at your average

339
00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:53.480
spending on your bank statement because everything is running through

340
00:19:53.480 --> 00:19:58.279
the bank. If somebody has never maxed out retirement plans

341
00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:00.279
at work and we need them to do that, we

342
00:20:00.359 --> 00:20:04.359
talk strategies about how maybe utilizing the life insurance proceeds

343
00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:07.640
to go into the bank account and then increasing the

344
00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:11.640
contributions and then doing regular transfers from the savings to

345
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:15.400
the checking is kind of their payroll because they're redirecting

346
00:20:15.480 --> 00:20:16.839
savings into other ways.

347
00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:19.960
But I think from a.

348
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:23.200
Situation to where your cash flow, your income, your expenses

349
00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:26.960
have changed dramatically through a death or a divorce, you

350
00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:30.319
still have to sit down and assess where you are.

351
00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:31.319
You still have to.

352
00:20:31.319 --> 00:20:34.279
Determine, you know, what's coming up, what do I need

353
00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:37.440
to plan on? And because your world has just been

354
00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:40.680
rocked and that takes time, you don't know if you're.

355
00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:42.519
Still going to go on that vacation or if you're

356
00:20:42.519 --> 00:20:45.200
still going to buy that car. I mean, everything changes.

357
00:20:46.799 --> 00:20:50.799
Yeah, So how do you help someone get started on

358
00:20:50.839 --> 00:20:54.799
a new spending plan. A lot of people think budgeting

359
00:20:54.920 --> 00:20:59.559
is a dirty word. Maybe we just use cash flow

360
00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:02.920
cash you and cash out. But how do you get

361
00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:07.519
someone to take that proactive step of starting a new

362
00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:08.240
spending plan.

363
00:21:09.240 --> 00:21:13.240
So I take it slowly, quite honestly, we look at, Okay,

364
00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:16.200
what's the income that we used to have that we

365
00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:19.720
no longer have, and we try to replace that income.

366
00:21:19.799 --> 00:21:23.240
So it feels like there's no major changes on day one.

367
00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:27.440
So if we can try to replace what was lost,

368
00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:33.240
then we can slowly begin to adjust behaviors to determine, well,

369
00:21:33.599 --> 00:21:35.960
is that money just building up in the bank account

370
00:21:36.279 --> 00:21:39.240
then we really don't need all that income and we

371
00:21:39.319 --> 00:21:42.759
can adjust, or are you now spending all of that

372
00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:46.119
when it's just you versus it being two of you?

373
00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:48.839
So that's where you have to have the tough conversations

374
00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:51.839
of can you continue to afford to do this or

375
00:21:51.880 --> 00:21:52.680
do we need to look.

376
00:21:52.519 --> 00:21:53.359
At other things.

377
00:21:53.960 --> 00:21:57.039
I talk a lot with clients about looking at some

378
00:21:57.079 --> 00:22:00.160
of those miscellaneous expenses that you don't even realize that

379
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:04.119
you're paying on all the streaming services, all the iCloud

380
00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:07.880
storage payment, like it's just that ten dollars a month,

381
00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:12.240
twenty dollars a month. That adds up very quickly. So again,

382
00:22:12.920 --> 00:22:16.920
bite size items to start knocking off your list. And

383
00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:20.359
especially with somebody who has maybe never looked at any

384
00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:23.079
of those things or doesn't know where the sign on

385
00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:26.880
access is to everything. It takes time, and it takes

386
00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:29.440
patients and going through it. But I would say the

387
00:22:29.480 --> 00:22:33.119
majority of individuals hate the B word. Nobody wants to budget.

388
00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:35.480
Budget is scary. Budget is saying you're going to tell

389
00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:36.839
me what I can live off of, and I want

390
00:22:36.839 --> 00:22:39.680
to live off of more. So cash lows a more

391
00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:41.279
user friendly word.

392
00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:48.119
And I also in all of you know, I my

393
00:22:48.279 --> 00:22:52.599
twenty five years in the industry, I taught a lot

394
00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:56.839
of social security workshops and one thing that I would

395
00:22:56.839 --> 00:23:00.839
the people were always kind of surprised about was like, typically,

396
00:23:00.839 --> 00:23:03.759
you know, the stereotypical thing if the husband has a

397
00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:07.559
larger social Security check and the wife has a smaller one,

398
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:12.279
and if he dies then and they're relying on her

399
00:23:13.039 --> 00:23:16.160
thousand to fifteen hundred dollars a month, and that's going

400
00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:19.240
to go away. I mean, Jess, yeah, what you're talking

401
00:23:19.240 --> 00:23:22.519
about is, you know, you basically have to start over

402
00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:26.119
and say, okay, here's you know, and I've always told

403
00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:30.000
women you have to think about what is what is

404
00:23:30.039 --> 00:23:33.440
that budget? What is that cash flow going to be

405
00:23:33.640 --> 00:23:35.559
like once that other person is gone.

406
00:23:36.440 --> 00:23:38.440
Yeah, you know, you bring up at that point because

407
00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:41.240
quite honestly, a lot of people don't know when somebody

408
00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:44.759
passes away that you lose a social security you know,

409
00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:47.400
and that's actually surprising to a lot of people. They

410
00:23:47.400 --> 00:23:50.160
think that they're just getting the two social Security benefits

411
00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:53.599
for the rest of their life. And so planning for

412
00:23:54.119 --> 00:23:57.400
the loss of the social security, planning for maybe you

413
00:23:57.400 --> 00:23:58.440
have a loss of a pension.

414
00:23:58.440 --> 00:24:01.799
Are you only getting fifty percent of them pensions.

415
00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:04.799
That's a lot of things that have to be examined,

416
00:24:04.839 --> 00:24:08.559
and you know, it's it's hard for individuals.

417
00:24:08.079 --> 00:24:09.720
To kind of even think about those things.

418
00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:12.759
And you know, an easy strategy, as you're well aware,

419
00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:15.359
is you know, leveraging life insurance to help to replace

420
00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:17.720
some of that. Well, then you start talking insurance and

421
00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:20.480
people think that's a bad word, but it can be

422
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:24.240
used to help to you know, fill the cap and

423
00:24:24.440 --> 00:24:27.400
be able to provide the income that is needed for

424
00:24:27.480 --> 00:24:32.119
that spouse. I've seen if used properly, life insurance do

425
00:24:32.240 --> 00:24:35.440
some fantastic things for survivors and their kids.

426
00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:40.160
Oh yeah, so you know, like I said, we're doing

427
00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:42.680
this at the beginning of a new year. For someone

428
00:24:42.799 --> 00:24:46.519
starting this new year and asking themselves do I have

429
00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:50.240
enough to live on? What first steps can they take

430
00:24:50.279 --> 00:24:54.519
this week to get to start getting some clarity.

431
00:24:54.680 --> 00:24:56.480
So if we're starting at the beginning of the year,

432
00:24:56.519 --> 00:24:59.240
then I would say pool your December thirty first bank statement,

433
00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:03.960
because bank statement captures everything what did you spend. It's

434
00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:06.839
a little scary to look at, but you know your

435
00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:08.960
debt went through there, your credit card payments went through.

436
00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:09.920
Even if you put everything on.

437
00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:11.440
The credit card, you had to pay the credit card,

438
00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:14.440
so that one on there too. Look at what you

439
00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:17.000
spent and to say, well, was this a normal year

440
00:25:17.079 --> 00:25:20.880
or did I have you know, big home improvement expenses

441
00:25:20.920 --> 00:25:23.960
I didn't plan on, or you know, abnormal vacation. So

442
00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:29.000
look at what you averaged each month and then determine.

443
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:31.319
Let's take a look at that balance sheet. Are you

444
00:25:31.359 --> 00:25:33.440
putting money away? Do you have.

445
00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:36.920
Savings and other vehicles? And can that generate what you

446
00:25:37.079 --> 00:25:40.039
need to live off of. You know, many people look

447
00:25:40.039 --> 00:25:42.680
at the four percent withdrawal rate or five percent, which

448
00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:45.480
can have a whole separate debate on that. But if

449
00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:47.759
you just take your assets and say what's four or

450
00:25:47.759 --> 00:25:51.079
five percent of that asset of that income stream. Is

451
00:25:51.160 --> 00:25:54.400
that going to equal what you have right now? For

452
00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:57.160
a lot of people it doesn't, which says you may

453
00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:59.960
have to start putting aside more money. But I would say, first,

454
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:02.279
you know, rip the band aid off, look at what

455
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:05.920
you spent over the course of last year, and then determine.

456
00:26:05.960 --> 00:26:09.160
You know, for me, as an example, I have three kids.

457
00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:12.559
They are still on my payroll because they are still young.

458
00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:17.119
So what I typically spend, I probably won't be spending

459
00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:21.079
that in retirement. However, I do plan on traveling more.

460
00:26:21.079 --> 00:26:23.279
In retirement, I do plan on doing other things, so

461
00:26:23.720 --> 00:26:28.599
my categories may change. I may not have travel soccer anymore,

462
00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:32.039
but I'll come visit you in Hawaii and do.

463
00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:32.839
Things like that.

464
00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:35.880
So so in the end I still may be spending

465
00:26:35.880 --> 00:26:38.079
the same. So for some people, they'll say, oh, I'm

466
00:26:38.079 --> 00:26:40.519
not going to be spending this amount in retirement.

467
00:26:41.119 --> 00:26:42.000
You'd be surprised.

468
00:26:42.599 --> 00:26:46.279
Yeah, yeah, well I've also you know, people have said

469
00:26:46.400 --> 00:26:48.759
I'm just as busy in retirement as ever was. Well,

470
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:53.559
filled up your time with other things. Let's talk about

471
00:26:53.599 --> 00:27:00.680
another dirty word, Lina, and that's will's and planning, and

472
00:27:00.799 --> 00:27:02.640
so one of the things I want to include in

473
00:27:02.680 --> 00:27:06.440
here is a note about passwords. I've taken a couple

474
00:27:06.559 --> 00:27:09.119
I've listened to a couple of podcasts. I've listened to

475
00:27:09.240 --> 00:27:13.559
different things and been to things where we've discussed passwords.

476
00:27:13.640 --> 00:27:16.000
So if you have somebody that's not in your life

477
00:27:16.039 --> 00:27:19.799
anymore and you didn't know what the passwords were for

478
00:27:19.960 --> 00:27:22.400
all kinds of things, I want to mention that too.

479
00:27:23.119 --> 00:27:30.119
But so they're walking through this change, what are the biggest,

480
00:27:30.319 --> 00:27:33.920
most important of state planning updates that should happen in

481
00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:36.319
that first six to six to twelve months.

482
00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:39.480
So I would say it's your normal three documents. It's

483
00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:43.680
your will, your power attorney, and your medical directive. If

484
00:27:43.720 --> 00:27:47.720
you've just got divorced, if you've lost your spouse, chances

485
00:27:47.759 --> 00:27:50.960
are you're going to be removing that individual from your documents.

486
00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:53.359
So you want to be able to make sure that

487
00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:56.200
you have the proper backup. If you have minor children,

488
00:27:56.440 --> 00:27:58.240
you still want to be able to name a guardian

489
00:27:58.279 --> 00:28:00.920
in there, so make sure that you have the right

490
00:28:01.079 --> 00:28:03.519
people in place to take care of the things that

491
00:28:03.559 --> 00:28:06.000
you want to get taken care of. Now, with that said,

492
00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:09.720
just getting those documents done is not enough. You have

493
00:28:09.720 --> 00:28:12.880
to update your beneficiary designations. And you and I both

494
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:13.720
know people who have.

495
00:28:15.480 --> 00:28:16.799
Yes, you know they.

496
00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:20.359
They have not updated the The ex wife ex husband

497
00:28:20.440 --> 00:28:22.799
is still listed on the four oh one K and

498
00:28:22.839 --> 00:28:23.160
that is.

499
00:28:23.079 --> 00:28:25.240
A shocker when we go through it with the newspact.

500
00:28:25.480 --> 00:28:30.400
Maybe if there's a new wife now yeah, yeah.

501
00:28:30.039 --> 00:28:31.240
So it's it's there.

502
00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:35.640
We all all have had those experiences. So it's making

503
00:28:35.640 --> 00:28:39.559
sure you get the documents updated, and that you're updating

504
00:28:39.559 --> 00:28:43.799
your beneficiaries, updating the titling on different accounts, even that

505
00:28:44.079 --> 00:28:47.039
small bank account that you and your husband may have

506
00:28:47.200 --> 00:28:51.000
had to help with, like joint kids' expenses. Get the

507
00:28:51.119 --> 00:28:54.119
names off. It should just be your name transfer and

508
00:28:54.240 --> 00:28:57.799
death on it out of beneficiary. But going through that

509
00:28:57.960 --> 00:29:02.400
process is crucial, and unfortunately I've seen it all too

510
00:29:02.440 --> 00:29:05.319
often to where you're doing it at the last minute

511
00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:08.200
because and in the case of loss of a spouse,

512
00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:12.319
somebody gets very sick or they're starting to have diminished capacity.

513
00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:15.480
You know, now we're rushing to get things done, and

514
00:29:15.519 --> 00:29:17.559
you don't want to be in that situation because then

515
00:29:17.559 --> 00:29:20.839
when the spouse passes away, you're going to be updating

516
00:29:20.839 --> 00:29:23.559
your estate documents again. But you may have rushed in

517
00:29:23.640 --> 00:29:27.160
the beginning to make decisions, and you may be hesitant

518
00:29:27.680 --> 00:29:30.720
in working through them again because you're emotional and because

519
00:29:30.720 --> 00:29:33.640
you're going through things. So it's important to take your

520
00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:37.359
time with it, you know, be purposeful in who you're naming,

521
00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:41.559
how you're naming. There's again a whole separate conversation you

522
00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:44.319
can have regarding a state planning. But you're right, it's

523
00:29:44.359 --> 00:29:46.759
a dirty word because people are thinking about the things

524
00:29:46.799 --> 00:29:49.839
that you don't want to think about, you know, I know.

525
00:29:50.200 --> 00:29:52.599
I remember when my husband and I first got married

526
00:29:52.640 --> 00:29:54.559
and I had the estate attorney at the house and

527
00:29:54.559 --> 00:29:57.200
my husband's like, what are we doing? And I said, well,

528
00:29:57.279 --> 00:29:59.759
this is important for us. We're married, right, we had

529
00:29:59.759 --> 00:30:02.559
no t children, and one of the questions she asked

530
00:30:03.079 --> 00:30:07.960
was if you are pregnant and there's a complication, do

531
00:30:08.039 --> 00:30:11.599
you want to save yourself or the baby? And that's

532
00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:17.359
a really emotional question for myself and my husband, and

533
00:30:17.640 --> 00:30:18.839
those are the things people want.

534
00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:19.079
To deal with.

535
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:21.599
You don't want to think about that, So to not

536
00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:24.000
think about it, then I'm not going to do the documents, right,

537
00:30:24.200 --> 00:30:26.680
But you know, you need to do the documents. And

538
00:30:26.759 --> 00:30:32.400
we've all seen situations when people didn't update anything, draft anything,

539
00:30:32.920 --> 00:30:34.759
and it did not go the way that they wanted to.

540
00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:38.240
So that's you know, one of the priorities I list

541
00:30:38.319 --> 00:30:40.759
all the time and just meet within a state attorney,

542
00:30:41.160 --> 00:30:44.519
utilize you know, even one of the online programs if

543
00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:47.640
you have a simple estate plan, just to have something

544
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:48.160
in place.

545
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:52.000
Yeah, well, let's talk a little bit of you know,

546
00:30:52.119 --> 00:30:55.319
because people are going to be thinking about taxes and

547
00:30:57.039 --> 00:31:01.759
how should someone think about debt, Like you've already mentioned

548
00:31:01.759 --> 00:31:05.359
a little bit about mortgages, like mortgages, credit cards, medical

549
00:31:05.400 --> 00:31:09.279
bills especially. You know, the biggest thing that can that

550
00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:12.720
can be a problem is if their cash flow is uncertain.

551
00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:18.000
You're going to try to prioritize this somehow.

552
00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:20.680
What do you think you have to I mean, you

553
00:31:20.759 --> 00:31:23.319
have to prioritize what you're going to take care of.

554
00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:26.720
And you know, with taxes, a lot of the times

555
00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:30.000
spouses didn't really pay attention. There's usually one person that's

556
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:32.640
filing the tax return, it's working with the CPA or

557
00:31:32.680 --> 00:31:35.119
doing it on TurboTax, and the other spouse has just

558
00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:38.920
no idea what's happening. So we usually request the copy

559
00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:41.559
of that tax return and go through it with the

560
00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:44.720
you know, with that individual of here's all of the

561
00:31:44.759 --> 00:31:47.279
statements all the ten ninety nine. This is where everything's

562
00:31:47.319 --> 00:31:50.119
coming from, and they usually don't even know what some

563
00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:52.880
of these things are, but trying to kind of do

564
00:31:54.039 --> 00:31:59.359
reconnaissance and inventory on all of that while prioritizing what's

565
00:31:59.359 --> 00:32:02.799
happening with especially if somebody is struggling with cash flow,

566
00:32:03.319 --> 00:32:05.920
and trying to determine what steps do we need.

567
00:32:05.799 --> 00:32:07.960
To take to help to pay off if.

568
00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:12.160
There's any final medical bills, if there's funeral expenses get

569
00:32:12.200 --> 00:32:14.839
to be a lot as well, and that's challenging too.

570
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:18.240
So it is it's going through that person situation on

571
00:32:18.279 --> 00:32:20.920
what can be done, what can be done that's not

572
00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:27.839
disruptive in the first couple of months when you're highly emotional, right, I.

573
00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:30.240
For some reason, I was just thinking about I had

574
00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:33.519
a dear sweet cousin who died of cancer several years ago,

575
00:32:33.599 --> 00:32:36.319
and I traveled to Oregon to say goodbye to him,

576
00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:42.000
and he sat there and said, you know, the thing that.

577
00:32:42.039 --> 00:32:44.680
Is the worst for.

578
00:32:44.720 --> 00:32:47.000
Me to know about is that I'm going to leave

579
00:32:47.039 --> 00:32:52.920
her with medical debt. And you know, and at the time,

580
00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:57.000
there wasn't really there wasn't a lot that anybody could

581
00:32:57.039 --> 00:33:02.079
do to fix it, and you know, it's just like, oh,

582
00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:05.039
so you know so that you know it's hard. You

583
00:33:05.240 --> 00:33:08.160
just have to I think you have to just clear

584
00:33:08.200 --> 00:33:11.519
the decks and give yourself some mental space to be

585
00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:14.519
able to sit back and think about these things. There's

586
00:33:14.599 --> 00:33:18.160
another part, and that is because of the time of year,

587
00:33:18.200 --> 00:33:22.920
it is, uh, tax issues I think sometimes tend to

588
00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:27.839
surprise widows and divorces. What how what do you think

589
00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:30.079
is there some what is it that you think surprises

590
00:33:30.119 --> 00:33:33.359
people when they have this that they're going through and

591
00:33:33.400 --> 00:33:35.960
they have taxes coming up, and they're like, what, I

592
00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:38.640
didn't know that? What can you think of anything that

593
00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:40.039
comes to mind? Yeah?

594
00:33:40.119 --> 00:33:41.680
I think there's two.

595
00:33:42.680 --> 00:33:46.599
The one big one is for spouses who weren't working

596
00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:50.359
who are using the portfolio to generate income. Let's say

597
00:33:50.400 --> 00:33:53.720
you have you put the life insurance proceeds into a portfolio.

598
00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:58.599
It's generating capital gains treatment and that capital gain is taxed,

599
00:33:58.799 --> 00:34:01.880
and then they have this tax bill and so you know,

600
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:04.680
you get the email that says, my CPA said, because

601
00:34:04.920 --> 00:34:09.119
the portfolio did well, I owe taxes now. So it's like, well,

602
00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:11.239
do you do you not want to make money on

603
00:34:11.320 --> 00:34:14.920
the portfolio where it is going to pay some taxes, right,

604
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:17.519
it is going to happen. Now, obviously there's tax strategies

605
00:34:17.559 --> 00:34:19.400
you can put within the portfolio, and I get that,

606
00:34:20.039 --> 00:34:24.000
but that's one that is surprising to a lot of people.

607
00:34:24.079 --> 00:34:26.599
So we always try to educate on the type of

608
00:34:26.639 --> 00:34:30.280
investment account. It is going to generate income and you're

609
00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:32.239
going to get a ten ninety nine and we will

610
00:34:32.280 --> 00:34:35.000
have to pay some estimated taxes. And then the other

611
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:38.559
thing that usually surprises people, which surprises me that it

612
00:34:38.639 --> 00:34:43.760
surprises them is when they're taking money from investment accounts

613
00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:49.079
like a retirement account, them not understanding I may have

614
00:34:49.119 --> 00:34:53.320
a penalty, I may have additional taxes because it's treated

615
00:34:53.360 --> 00:34:56.400
as ordinary income. So as much as we do from

616
00:34:56.440 --> 00:35:01.320
a financial literacy standpoint on educating a adults about how

617
00:35:01.400 --> 00:35:03.960
a four oh one K works, an IRA and a wroth,

618
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:07.199
there's still a big gap of understanding.

619
00:35:07.400 --> 00:35:10.760
So I go into meetings with the assumption.

620
00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:13.079
That they don't know how a wroth works or how

621
00:35:13.320 --> 00:35:17.039
a four h three B operates, and if they do, fantastic,

622
00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:21.239
but I educate them through that so they understand you

623
00:35:21.320 --> 00:35:23.679
can't just close out that four oh one K plan

624
00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:26.360
because your spouse passed away. You're gonna get hit with

625
00:35:26.400 --> 00:35:29.639
a massive amount of taxes. So I have that conversation

626
00:35:29.719 --> 00:35:31.159
a lot of don't use the four one k to

627
00:35:31.199 --> 00:35:33.400
pay off the mortgage, right right?

628
00:35:34.119 --> 00:35:38.159
You made me think of another I had. Actually, this

629
00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:40.320
was a good friend and I had been hounding her

630
00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:43.400
to get her will done. She had been recently divorced

631
00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:46.599
and she's helping somebody move one day and she gets

632
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:49.719
hit by a drunk driver and oh my gosh, and

633
00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:53.320
her will is sitting on unsigned on her kitchen table

634
00:35:53.880 --> 00:35:57.239
and the life insurance that we had put together. Anyway,

635
00:35:57.360 --> 00:36:01.559
her kids. The point I make is her kids went,

636
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:04.639
they received the life insurance and they all, all of

637
00:36:04.679 --> 00:36:08.480
them just went and blew it. And I had to

638
00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:11.760
step back and say, I did the best I could,

639
00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:19.360
and I can't make myself responsible for other people's choices.

640
00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:23.639
And sometimes you know that there's just crazy things that happen,

641
00:36:23.719 --> 00:36:25.840
and I think you're right, you know, we just we

642
00:36:25.880 --> 00:36:28.039
do the best we can and try to educate the

643
00:36:28.079 --> 00:36:28.639
best we can.

644
00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:29.960
Yeah.

645
00:36:30.079 --> 00:36:34.719
So another there's another area that I have found interesting

646
00:36:36.079 --> 00:36:39.840
how people can fall for this, and that is I

647
00:36:39.880 --> 00:36:43.119
had an episode a while back with someone who went

648
00:36:43.239 --> 00:36:50.400
through a romance scam after her husband had died. And

649
00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:54.840
do you feel have you come across, you know, too

650
00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:57.599
good to be true offers or products or strategies that

651
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:03.480
you see target did at newly single women. Has that

652
00:37:03.559 --> 00:37:04.199
ever happened?

653
00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:05.519
Yeah, I don't.

654
00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:09.039
I don't know if it's been targeted at newly single women,

655
00:37:09.320 --> 00:37:14.480
but definitely single women. I had two situations to where

656
00:37:14.960 --> 00:37:19.559
they met a guy online. Everything was very promising and

657
00:37:19.639 --> 00:37:23.679
he knew how to trade stock and he developed a

658
00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:26.960
code on how to do day trading. And I just

659
00:37:27.039 --> 00:37:30.039
have to give him my log one information to my

660
00:37:30.400 --> 00:37:32.920
tedm ror trade account, so.

661
00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:33.679
On and so forth.

662
00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:37.559
And so this client, obviously, when she's telling me this

663
00:37:37.639 --> 00:37:40.679
was a new client, red flags left and right, left

664
00:37:40.719 --> 00:37:42.280
and right, and I said, I need to see I

665
00:37:42.320 --> 00:37:46.800
need to see a statement and the amount of margin

666
00:37:46.960 --> 00:37:52.239
calls that was on this statement that she just didn't understand.

667
00:37:52.960 --> 00:37:55.440
I was in that first meeting.

668
00:37:55.679 --> 00:37:57.280
I had to pull up the account and I said,

669
00:37:57.320 --> 00:38:00.360
you're going to change the password immediately. You are freezing

670
00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:03.119
him out, like you this is not good. So I

671
00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:05.840
had to show her what was happening in the portfolio.

672
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:09.000
So I had to actually had two situations where that

673
00:38:09.239 --> 00:38:14.000
where that had happened. I think from I don't want

674
00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:16.239
to say I see more scams because I don't see

675
00:38:16.639 --> 00:38:17.840
a lot of the scams.

676
00:38:18.079 --> 00:38:20.280
What I see is that there's just.

677
00:38:20.599 --> 00:38:24.039
Unfortunately when you're newly single women, they just they don't

678
00:38:24.039 --> 00:38:25.840
have that person that they can ask.

679
00:38:25.639 --> 00:38:28.760
Of, Hey, should I do this? Should I buy this?

680
00:38:28.920 --> 00:38:29.880
Does this make sense?

681
00:38:29.880 --> 00:38:32.719
Should I click this? Back to that trust is a

682
00:38:32.800 --> 00:38:42.440
proper right. So if you had to list, like the

683
00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:45.599
top three mistakes that you see people make in the

684
00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:48.920
first year after losing a spouse or going through a divorce,

685
00:38:49.760 --> 00:38:52.000
what would be those top three mistakes?

686
00:38:53.079 --> 00:38:56.800
Uh, honestly, I think the top three are all spending.

687
00:38:57.199 --> 00:39:01.480
I mean, as as simple as that is. That's where

688
00:39:01.519 --> 00:39:06.920
I've seen majority of clients fall into fall into traps.

689
00:39:06.920 --> 00:39:09.360
And when I say spending, I mean they're giving a

690
00:39:09.360 --> 00:39:11.599
lot of money to their kids that don't need it,

691
00:39:11.719 --> 00:39:14.039
They're giving money to the cousins that are coming out

692
00:39:14.039 --> 00:39:18.239
of the woodworks, They're just buying stuff, taking everybody on vacations.

693
00:39:18.280 --> 00:39:24.199
It's just we're spending way too much, and that just

694
00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:28.239
it can derail everything. It just causes so many problems

695
00:39:28.280 --> 00:39:32.920
down the road. For also that maybe that non working

696
00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:36.559
spouse not realizing that maybe they have to go back

697
00:39:36.599 --> 00:39:40.960
to work is very difficult, especially depending on the stage

698
00:39:40.960 --> 00:39:44.360
of life that they're in. So trying to get back

699
00:39:44.360 --> 00:39:47.400
into that mindset of you have to go back to work.

700
00:39:47.440 --> 00:39:49.760
There is not enough assets here to generate the income

701
00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:52.280
that they need, and so when they don't go back

702
00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:55.679
to work and they're spending down the portfolio, that's a

703
00:39:55.719 --> 00:39:58.960
problem also. But honestly, it has always come down to

704
00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:01.480
spending when I when I look at kind of where

705
00:40:01.519 --> 00:40:06.119
people have had challenges and everything. Even in my personal life.

706
00:40:06.159 --> 00:40:08.239
I remember when my father in law passed away and

707
00:40:08.239 --> 00:40:12.119
you talked about passwords. When my father in law, he

708
00:40:12.199 --> 00:40:16.480
was literally on the deathbed and he said to me,

709
00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:20.360
he told me where his password book was because his

710
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:24.199
wife didn't know where what the passwords were for certain things,

711
00:40:24.199 --> 00:40:25.880
and he knew I was going to be the one

712
00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:29.559
who have to deal with it. But I remember when

713
00:40:29.559 --> 00:40:32.679
he passed away and just the spending that was happening,

714
00:40:32.679 --> 00:40:35.880
and we had to talk about we can't continue at

715
00:40:35.880 --> 00:40:36.360
this pace.

716
00:40:37.159 --> 00:40:43.760
Yeah, yeah, that's that's really something you know, to think about.

717
00:40:44.320 --> 00:40:47.400
Let's get let's maybe take you know, we could we

718
00:40:47.440 --> 00:40:51.039
could talk a whole long time about investing and risk

719
00:40:51.159 --> 00:40:54.159
and time horizon. One of the things that I think

720
00:40:54.199 --> 00:40:56.800
that a lot of people don't think about is say,

721
00:40:57.000 --> 00:40:59.519
you know, you lose somebody at age sixty, you could

722
00:40:59.599 --> 00:41:05.000
have another thirty years right that you you know, would

723
00:41:05.079 --> 00:41:09.639
be moving into a whole new area of life. Like

724
00:41:09.800 --> 00:41:13.920
I have a I have a cousin whose husband died prematurely.

725
00:41:15.119 --> 00:41:18.639
She spends a lot she's found cruising. She loves cruising,

726
00:41:19.079 --> 00:41:23.000
and she's going to be stopping in Hawaii in a

727
00:41:23.000 --> 00:41:25.280
few weeks and overnight we're going to have her for

728
00:41:25.320 --> 00:41:29.199
overnight before she goes on a fifty day thing. But

729
00:41:29.519 --> 00:41:33.760
she's keeping herself young by doing all this great stuff.

730
00:41:33.920 --> 00:41:37.480
But what would you what would you say to someone

731
00:41:37.880 --> 00:41:40.480
about how should they think of you know, if they

732
00:41:40.480 --> 00:41:45.079
are like if they if they could potentially have another

733
00:41:45.280 --> 00:41:47.800
good set of years, how do you look at risk

734
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:48.960
in your time horizon?

735
00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:51.880
Well, I mean that's where you again, that's where you

736
00:41:51.920 --> 00:41:54.559
have to educate the client. And if they want to

737
00:41:54.559 --> 00:41:56.960
try to keep it all in cash and CDs because

738
00:41:56.960 --> 00:42:00.639
they're an ultra conservative investor where they're terrified they're going

739
00:42:00.639 --> 00:42:02.840
to run out of money, that's going to have a

740
00:42:02.920 --> 00:42:05.760
dramatic impact on the lifestyle that they have or that

741
00:42:05.800 --> 00:42:09.639
they want to have. So it's talking about gradually getting

742
00:42:09.679 --> 00:42:12.840
back into the market, whether it's you know, starting to

743
00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:15.760
invest a little bit, you know, into bonds or starting

744
00:42:15.760 --> 00:42:18.599
to get into the stock market to get them comfortable

745
00:42:18.679 --> 00:42:22.199
with that. Most of the time, they've already had that exposure.

746
00:42:22.360 --> 00:42:24.880
They've had it through whether their spouse was investing in

747
00:42:24.920 --> 00:42:27.960
that way, if they had any type of retirement plan.

748
00:42:28.360 --> 00:42:32.400
And so it's just again holding their hand through that process.

749
00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:35.960
And we know there's no guarantees in the world, and

750
00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:38.119
we know that things are going to come down, they're

751
00:42:38.159 --> 00:42:40.840
going to move up, but it's looking at that long

752
00:42:40.920 --> 00:42:43.519
time period ahead and a lot of that just comes

753
00:42:43.519 --> 00:42:46.159
down to building that confidence with the client and having

754
00:42:46.159 --> 00:42:49.039
them understand. And so it is it's kind of, you know,

755
00:42:49.119 --> 00:42:52.119
getting your toe in the water a little bit right.

756
00:42:53.199 --> 00:42:57.000
Well, you know, I'm always amazed at how how quickly

757
00:42:57.079 --> 00:43:01.440
these conversations goes. This today, you know, we are coming close,

758
00:43:01.599 --> 00:43:03.840
we are coming close to being having to wrap up.

759
00:43:04.599 --> 00:43:09.840
So as we close, what is one small doable action

760
00:43:10.079 --> 00:43:14.400
you would love every listener to take in the next

761
00:43:14.440 --> 00:43:19.400
seven days. And you have a resource that we're going

762
00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:23.639
to mention. And also if those that are listening do

763
00:43:23.719 --> 00:43:27.719
not know on my website is a will be Lena's

764
00:43:27.760 --> 00:43:30.440
information about where to find her. But she has a

765
00:43:30.440 --> 00:43:36.079
resource called I'm single, Now what and it's at i

766
00:43:36.119 --> 00:43:42.039
Am Single ebook dot com which they can download for free. Correct. Correct, absolutely,

767
00:43:42.679 --> 00:43:46.519
So what would be that one one simple, doable thing

768
00:43:46.599 --> 00:43:48.880
that would be an action step. I try to get

769
00:43:48.920 --> 00:43:53.320
people to do something to move them forward.

770
00:43:53.440 --> 00:43:56.440
So what I'm about to say, I don't think people

771
00:43:56.480 --> 00:44:00.480
will think is simple, but it is so simple. Is

772
00:44:01.559 --> 00:44:04.760
just make an appointment within a state attorney. Just go

773
00:44:04.800 --> 00:44:08.960
online and look for and you can contact me. I

774
00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:12.360
have resources all over the states. Love to introduce you

775
00:44:12.400 --> 00:44:14.440
to somebody who can just draft something for you. I

776
00:44:14.480 --> 00:44:17.039
just see it all too often that people don't have

777
00:44:17.440 --> 00:44:20.599
the basic documents. And if you can start off the

778
00:44:20.679 --> 00:44:23.519
year and say, this is the year I'm going to

779
00:44:23.679 --> 00:44:26.719
have my estate documents done. I'm going to name the

780
00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:29.960
appropriate people, et cetera. It is simple and do what

781
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:31.920
you just have to do it, you know, and I

782
00:44:31.960 --> 00:44:33.960
want to give I want people to have the confidence

783
00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:36.639
to say the first step is the hardest rights it's

784
00:44:36.880 --> 00:44:37.840
making that appointment.

785
00:44:38.199 --> 00:44:40.519
Just make that appointment. Talk to your friends, to your family.

786
00:44:40.519 --> 00:44:43.639
Look at our resources and ask who they use, and

787
00:44:43.679 --> 00:44:46.159
I can assure you it will be smooth sailing from

788
00:44:46.159 --> 00:44:49.440
that standpoint. So that's what I would say is having

789
00:44:49.480 --> 00:44:51.239
to really focus on that estate plan.

790
00:44:53.679 --> 00:44:59.000
Super great advice from a trusted advisor. Lena, Thank you

791
00:44:59.239 --> 00:45:03.239
so much for joining us today. This is a topic

792
00:45:03.360 --> 00:45:06.280
that a lot of people maybe don't want to listen to,

793
00:45:06.559 --> 00:45:10.840
but all of those that have listened, this is great advice,

794
00:45:11.079 --> 00:45:15.800
great way to start the year. If you are not

795
00:45:16.400 --> 00:45:19.639
going through something like this, maybe you know someone who is,

796
00:45:20.719 --> 00:45:23.519
and so think about how this can relate to you

797
00:45:23.599 --> 00:45:26.239
in your life. Think about how it might relate to

798
00:45:26.400 --> 00:45:31.440
you and your friends and your family. So with that, Lena,

799
00:45:32.239 --> 00:45:36.440
we must say goodbye for now, and thank you so

800
00:45:36.599 --> 00:45:39.920
much for joining the Ask Good Questions Podcast today. We

801
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:41.039
will see you next time.

802
00:45:41.519 --> 00:45:43.320
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

803
00:45:44.199 --> 00:45:51.320
Okay, today's episode is over, but we did Ask Good

804
00:45:51.440 --> 00:45:54.840
Questions again, didn't We don't miss out as we broadcast

805
00:45:55.039 --> 00:45:59.039
live every Wednesday, six pm Eastern Time on W four

806
00:45:59.119 --> 00:46:02.400
CY Radio at W fourcy dot com.

807
00:46:02.519 --> 00:46:06.920
Joined Benita Bellemerson next week for more conversations with experts

808
00:46:06.920 --> 00:46:12.400
on finances retirement, behavioral finance issues, health and wellness, and more.

809
00:46:12.800 --> 00:46:16.719
Until then, remember to ask good questions.