Three Transplants and a No Options Mindset: What Real Resilience Looks Like

0:00 The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are solely those of the hosts and their guests and not those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsements radio show programs, services, or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability explicitor implies shall be extended to W FOURCY Radio or its employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing W FOURCY Radio. Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday, six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at w fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we will reach for a higher purpose in money and life, as well as a focus on health and wellnent. Now, let's join your host, Banita bell Anderson, as together we start with Asking Good Questions.

1:01 Welcome to the Ask Good Questions Podcast. I am the host, Anita Bell Anderson, and I am really looking forward today because we are going to be talking to somebody who has really been through a lot, So we're gonna be talking about resilience and a whole lot more. I'd like to invite to the podcast stage Ty Gibson. Hello, Hello, how are. You welco Tie? So, if you're not familiar with Ty, let me tell you just a little a little bit about this guy. He's a speaker and a mindset advocate whose message is built around one core principle, and that is that there are no options when it comes down to doing what it takes. And you're going to hear a lot about his whole no options philosophy today. He's faced life altering health challenge that forced him to either grow or die, and he's learned firsthand that progress comes from discipline and ownership and action not excuses. So today he speaks to leaders and athletes and everyday people about mental toughness and resilience and choosing to grow when you have no options. So, Ty, for the listeners who are meeting you for the first time,

2:33 what what are those key moments that were in your journey that shaped who you are today? Well? You know, you know, And well, first of all, thank you, thank you for what you're doing, and I really appreciate you know, having me today because I enjoyed sharing these stories with with with folks. But the question going back to where were some of my journey? Where did this stuff start? As a kid though, But I want to tell you I was raised down in Southeast Sextus and it was that the. Aged myself a little bit here. But in the seventies, you know, as a kid, my parents, my dad especially was one of those guys had dunt doll boy, you'll be okay, nobody wants to hear your problem, right, and so, and I think that was just a generational type, you know, mindset of people back then and and so growing up, I kind of thought.

3:31 That was a little harsh. But but what I didn't. Realize, and I think this is one of the key moments I didn't realize it was really preparing me for my road ahead. Because I needed that little bit of. Grit that that just to be able to push through the road that we're going to talk about. And and that started when I was eight as a juvenile. And again did. Idea it's pretty common in the seventies. Now, the technology wasn't there, right, I mean, it was, as we know, a lot of. Things have changed, yes the seventies. And and so I was diagnosed at the age of eight, and I was put on this you know.

4:17 With the age of eight. Correct. Wow, So I mean and just I was a normal kid, you know, I was just a I was over you know, want to be a kid playing sports, you know, doing all the things a normal eight year old kid does, all the little leagues and you know all that, right, And so all of a sudden, just my parents realized that I. Was just out of gas. I was just really tired. And so anyway, come and find out I was diagnosed there with pipe one juvenile diabetes. And so got on the insolent shots, went through all that. Which was really as an eight year old to go in there and find out that I was going to take shots every day. It was really just a big overwhelming, right, never been you know, sick of day of my life.

5:04 And then all of a sudden, all of this. So that was a lot. And then they could never control this diabeta. And so by the time I was ten, they finally got me to a specialist, uh uh, a juvenile diabetic specialist who was working on a very neat thing. And it was in the seventies. It was a chemotherapy machine that they were putting insulin in and. And therapy machine. It was a chemo. It was a chemotherapy piece of a medical equipment at the time, and they would put in they would put influent in it so that it would give me a slow drip of insulin over time, which we all know today is the insulin pump, right right, And so I was one of the early ones testing out the newer model of these some of the new technology in pumps back in the seventies.

5:55 So so that was my first. Really big battle with kind of just being different, right, trying to fit in, trying to be a normal kid. Why can't I have the birthday fakes like everybody else at these birthday parties or. Whatever that may be, right, But that was my first one. But you really need to be part of that insulin pump kind of testing model through through and that kind of went on for years. Me for for the next many years, I was part of the insulin pump as it got better and better and better and better. So I wrote the way out for a while.

6:36 Well what what you know, So you're gonna the next thing. Let's move into You've had three organ transplants. Correct, is that the type one diabetes? Did that lead to the necessity of having those transplants. Well, yes, I. Mean, and so being being a diabetic obviously and really out of control diabetes there for a while causes some kidney shouting, right. So, so as I. Was talking through the years, I went through differentness on pumps, and I mean, I went to college, you know, all these different lifestyle changes that you go through as a kid into a young adulthood and so on and so on.

7:19 But anyway, at the age of thirty, I'm out of my you know, working in my career, I'm working on all this. I just I got extremely tired. So I go in and then I found out at that point my kiddies were faith and I was like, oh wow. But here's the deal. The doctor said, Ky, the problem is is you're kiddy and failing, but you have such brill diabetes. If we just do a kidney, I'm afraid you're. Just going to keep going through kidneys because I'm afraid that your diabetes is going to continue to really challenge these kidneys. So he said, there is a doctor in Baltimore, Maryland that is doing a dual transplant where they would a kidney and a pancress transplant at the same time.

8:05 Oh my, so and you're in Texas, and so you. Had to travel, yes, ma'am, across the country, correct, I mean. So I'm in Austin, Texas there in Baltimore. So I go up there just to find out if I'm a candidate, and sure enough I am. I get there, go through days of testing, come and find out I am a candidate for this. So my mother, who was sixty at the time, says, time, I'm sixty years old. I have two kidneys, and one of these is yours. If the doctor says it's okay, I want to donate my kidney. Wow, she said, I feel like that is a my role and I want to do that. And I said, yes, ma'am. So as we went through the testing, my mother tested and sure enough my mom was a match, which was very exciting.

8:55 So after testing for her. Now keep in mind, I can get a kid from a living donor, but to receive a paper it is it has to come from a deceased donor, right, So I'm put on a list. Right. So, and this is where I always. You know, somebody made a decision to be an organ donor, and I never have gotten to meet the family. But I always I am just very thankful for whoever that may have been. But it absolutely changed my life. And and and and I just always say thank you. And if and you know, if you're not an organ donor and you have questions about it, I would absolutely encourage it.

9:37 If if you're if you have if you have thoughts about it, I would be glad to help. Talk you through that. But so I get on this list now and I'm waiting. And so the doctor told. Me, if type you don't go into Alice's, you have a better shot of of of of accepting the organs without rejection. Your your your your rate of non rejection is much better if you don't have to go in Dallas. So I was determined not to go in Dallast but I kept going, and I kept going. We got to about months six six, probably six and a half months in I finally went to the doctor. And I would go to work still, but then I would work and I would come home and by six o'clock I'm back in bed because I couldn't so but just to get back through the day. So I had, you know, very little lifestyle at all. And at the time I had a six year old daughter, and I'm a single dad.

10:31 So it was really challenging times. My family was very helpful and through those times, but it was really hard. And so I get the thing about this surgery was they had been four surgeries and two of them had been successful. And so I had a decision to make, right, I mean, I've got a six year old, but I knew this. I knew I wanted to be there for her in a better stay. Yeah, having to be put onto. Aalyastas, and I mean I knew I wanted. To be here for her life, right. I wanted to be here for her, and so I had to make a decision. And this is kind of where part of the no options mindset comes in, though, is I didn't I I said, look, I don't have an option but to go through this surgery.

11:20 And I know it's been a fifty to fifty shot, right, but this is I'm going to be the one decision to make. Yeah, And it was really hard. I mean, so you're looking at this six year old, you got the you know, it was just some hard times. But I'll tell you. We got through the probably month seven or so. I finally told the doctor couldn't go to Warriston. I've got to go about and so he brought me in. He put the stint in. And I will tell you that was on a Thursday, on Sunday night, about midnight, I get a call from Baltimore and they're like, hey, Ty, we've got a pankers at Matches. I need to get you mobile, get your mother mobile, and let's get on the you know, let's so you.

12:04 Had you had to then jump on a plane and fly to Baltimore. Yeah, and it was really it was. It was an amazing story because the local area here in Austin. I had did an interview that about what was going on in one of the newspapers. Anyway, there was a company that caught and offered their private plane so that when we got the call, I would be able to just get on this plane and. Go oh wow. And it made it. I'll tell you that was. I mean, it sounds a really simple process, but when you're going through all that stress and all in the moment and all that, when the call comes, it was it was a blessing that they were there to really just take care of that. I'm always very thankful that.

12:48 So anyway, we got the call, we get all mobilized, it's kind of like the moves right, you get there, hurry, Herry, wait, wait, and they you know, go paperwork, and they're getting you prepped. And so in this room in Baltimore and the surgical room, I'm in the middle. My mother said, they have a team working on my mother, getting her ready, and then they have the organ that a team is working on it, preparing it for me right, to put it in me right. So sixteen hours later I went, and I will tell you. It was. It was the most amazing thing. I wake up from my after recovery. My mother is in a wheelchair sitting beside me, and she was doing great, which was a big stress of mine too.

13:31 I had a sixty year old mother that was going through this and I wanted to make sure she was good. So to see her was a relieve. But I'll tell you my body was in such shock because think about it, you're putting too far in or you know, organs in your body right, because your body is not familiar with so it's kind of naturally fighting. I woke up. So now I'm taking sixty five peels a day and sixty five peels a day, and I'll I'll tell you half of them will probably are less than half are anti rejection meds. But it is all this stuff that the anti rejection meds side effects right, the cause of this and that. So it was just a lot of medicine in my body for somebody had never taken medicine other than insulin.

14:19 It was a lie. So anyway, the doctor said, time you can get through. The first year, you're gonna be okay. The first year is the most critical time. And I'll tell you this, almost to the date of the year, that was the most challenging year I've had, because I mean, you have good days because they're trying to regulate it. To their defense, they had an amazing team they were working on trying to regulate this, but it. Just takes time. And so anyway, close to the year, I'll tell you it was probably within a week or so of that year, it's like the lights went off, right. And there was a local interview there or medical interview that I asked them. They said, what is the difference between your life before the search three and after?

15:00 And still to this day, I think I described the best and it was. I said, it's like living life in full color versus living in black and white. Yeah, and just I mean I felt but I didn't realize how bad I felt, right, and so what an amazing time. But I'll tell you, Anita and I like to talk about this because we all have stories. I mean mine, I've had some challenges, but we all have something we're dealing with. You know, you know, having just come from Hawaii, being Hawaii for your the they say talk story. Yes, they talk story in Hawaii. Yeah, which I love that. Actually, yeah, yeah, when you're just doing that, you're talking story.

15:44 Well, you know, the thing was was I I didn't realize. How much how bad I felt. Yeah, but I after that year, I got going. And I'll tell you on the other side of whatever we're dealing with. And I always truy it teach a little bit here because I want to. I want people to know whoever's listening to know that today you may be taught to stuff. We may be going through some relationships of medical whatever that looks like business. Whatever. I will tell you on the other side of adversity is some amazing things. Amazing things because after this now, after that year, I was I was able to get married, I was able to adopt our second daughter, and then I was able to start. Our companies had got to start. And so I will tell you it's worth the fight. Whatever that wall looks like or that how I'm not sure how deep the ditch feels, but on the other side.

16:44 Of it, it's some amazing things. We just have to stay focused. Shall pass right, absolutely what I think people and you can talk, I know you talk a lot about this. Anita is the power. My mind is a power full fool. And I will tell you, and it doesn't matter how much money someone has, how much whatever, we have the tools we need, each and every single. One of us. We have to look in the mirror and realize we are the ones that's going to make this happen. Now. I know there are some some some some instances where that's not always the case. There may be some medical. Things that that's not the case, But in most of our situations, we all have the tools to work through.

17:29 And do you think that was where this your whole no options thing started? Was Yes, realization coming coming through this. It really was, I mean. And the thing was though, is I knew I had, you know, I had a daughter that I needed to get to the other side for. Yeah, I knew I had to be there. I didn't have an option. I had a daughter I needed to be there for. You know, find your why why may be different, but find it, yeah, find it. I mean it may be your friendship, it may be your relationship, maybe your family, whatever that looks like.

18:12 How do you how do you think? How do you think? This changes how you think about time and priorities. It's absolutely change my mind, you know, I always say, but in every day to me as a bonus day, I get up every morning and put my feet on the ground and I am just thankful that I'm here. And I'll tell you this one of the things I have learned through this and I want people to realize and when early on, I did not ever think that I needed to take care of myself as much as we need to take care of ourselves. And when I say ourselves, our mental, our state, when I talk about our mind, you know, there's a reason on the airplane when that oxygen masks drops, they say, and put it on yourself before you can help others. Right, Yeah, and then that's life. Right. We've got to be able to take care of ourselves before we can take others. And that's kind of the way my I needed to take care of myself to be able to help her.

19:10 But but I'll. Tell you one of the things I have really learned through that is is mental you know, whatever that looks like for each of us, right, But I do. I get up in the morning and I spend some personal time. I mean, fifteen twenty minutes, whatever you've got. But I absolutely booked time for myself right about what's the day, like, what are today's goal and then not only write them or think of I visualize. That was something I used to not ever do because I thought I don't have time to do all that. I don't have time. But you need to make the time. You find the time. And I'll tell you a difference. Because that because I think a lot of people, if they're hearing this, they're gonna think about and they're going to focus on the physical side of it.

19:54 But really that mental I when I get up in the morning, that's. What I'm doing, is I'm spending time reading and meditation and prayer and I'm just doing this whole process every morning before I get started with my day. Absolutely, I mean, you know, and I'm a faith based guy, and so prayer time to me, is is very important, right, and so I used to kind of do that on the run. When I'm on the drive to work, I stop doing that. I do it. I absolutely carve out time art and I'll tell you it's made a difference for me because I think again, we we sometimes we neglect our self needs sometimes as far as the mental state and our and our and our like you said, meditation, things of that nature. And I think it's something that i've very I've learned that's definitely something we need to stay focused on.

20:51 Well, what would you say, let's get out, let's get down to something. I always like to get to something that's actionable in some thing that people can take. What are some daily habits and routines or mindset practices that you do. Now, Well, I'll. Tell you I've got there's three steps that I have come up with that I when I'm going through my my when I go when I look back on it, I have a three step process. So when I run into an adversity or I run into a wall or get in a ditch. This is three simple steps. Because the word, uh, you know, be think positive, be a positive thinker is a set a blanket statement. Yeah, and when when someone's in the ditch.

21:33 Or looking at this wall they can't get over, that's a hard that is a hard statement to digest. So what I did is I broke it down into three simple steps. And so when I run into something this is this is a really simple I look at it and I say, in this situation, am I going to. Grow or die? Am I gonna let And that's what we do. We grow or die? This is what So what we do is grow or die. And so I always say, am I gonna let this win? Or am I going to somehow take figure out a way to get my leg up on this and win? Yeah, So that's what we do. Number two, it's hope or despair. That's how we think.

22:17 And is it gonna be the Am I gonna be played the victim party? Why did that time about be this? Why don't I have. To go through multiple transplants? No, find the silver line, find hope? Right, you can be there now talking about this and helping somebody else. Yes, I hope we can touch somebody. But but that's what how we think, right, We got to be hope. It's hope or despare is number two and number three. This is the one kind of gets people some time and humor or drama. And that's how we talk. And when I say talk, I'm not saying talk to to just other people. How we talk to ourselves. A lot of times we're a work here, the voices in our head that we're talking, telling ourselves we can or can't do.

23:02 But what I do is I find some humor in it. Like I mean, sometimes it's sick, you know, And I mean it's just something silly to me. It's something silly to me, like, oh my god, that's what I don't have to you know, I don't have to take sixty five fields a day. I only take thirty five fields a day now. And I but but you know, some people are like, oh my god, he's thirty five fields. But to me, yeah, but I used to take I used to take sixty five or perspective something that is I got. You got to laugh sometimes, you know, sometimes we just need a good laugh. So do you do you can you feel yourself? I mean, have you trained yourself now that.

23:44 You can feel if you're going into some discouragement so that you can turn it around. I do absolutely, And in that and that goes into and you can talk about this as well. But that's you know what I didn't realize. And as I've got into this, I've studied and I've gotten this, you know, visit with some of the doctors and stuff on the mind we train our brain is just like muscles that we work out. It's there's no different, right and and the and they tell me, they said, Tom, if you go to the gym, if you want to start working out and you want to, you know, start getting muscles, do you go to the gym and come home tonight and go where that? Or do you know that You've.

24:25 Got to start going to that gym three days a week, four days a week if I want to see results. Our brain, in our mind is the exact same way. We've got to keep working at it because. Naturally, naturally, and when we run into. A situation, our brain is going to go to the area that it's trained to. Is that negative or is that a positive? Right? And so it talks about the neuropathways and all that neuroplassic There's a lot of things that go into this study. But you're brain. We train our brain to think certain ways. Now that doesn't mean that I'm a positive thinker all the time.

25:07 I do run into things sometimes and I find myself, as you just talked about, maybe going down that negative side, and I immediately go time, am I are you gonna let yourself really grower to eye? Here? Are you know you're gonna what are you gonna do? And then how am I going to think? And don't let yourself talk yourself in down that because you can get into a rabbit hole real fast. Yeah. So these are just three steps, but I want to go back, grower, doze. What we do, hope we're despared. What we think humor or drama is how we talk, and when we do those three things gets what that blanket statement of being a positive thinker gets, it comes into alignment. Right. Awesome, Well do you what has all this stuff taught you about listening to your body? Can you? I mean, I mean, because what you were just talking about was kind of like the mental part of it. Can you feel now that if you're if your body is a little.

26:03 Bit off, absolutely, you know, And I'm noticing more and more as I mean, I am definitely more in tune with my my body. And understanding it. And you know part of that comes with us, just you know, as I get older, and I. Understand the part of it too is taking the time. To take care of your body, to listen, to understand what you're feeling, or understand what that means when you do feel. Yeah, there's there's a I'm sure you've heard this saying. It just made me think of it that if you don't take time for your health, then later on your health is gonna or your bad health is going to make you stop.

26:44 That's correct, absolutely, you know. And so, but I want to I don't want to stop there because I want to. I want to finish the story because it even gets better if you give me. Just so, after I received that, rights don't last forever. So my pancreas lasted for twelve years, So for twelve years I didn't have diabetess, which was absolutely amazing. Wow. And so and then my mother kidney, my mother's kiddy lasted week for twenty years. So in twenty nineteen, now I've got a ten year old daughter. At this point, I've got I've got my businesses.

27:25 We've got forty five employees at this point in time. The business is growing fast and we're you know, and and my find out my kidneys are failing me, and immediately they put me on. Dallas because you have you have your mother's kidney and then you have your own kidney. Well, my kiddies have failed. So I had my mother's kiddy and. My kidney just had one kidney. I just had the one kiddy, and my mother's kiddy started to fail. Right, So I've been put on the Alasis. And so now three days a week, Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays, I would get up at four thirty in the morning and I would go to Dalasis until nine thirty and then back to this mindset my dad taught me as a kid, dust off, you'll be okay.

28:17 I didn't tell anybody. I would go to work and try to like nothing was happening. My family knew that. I did not like to talk about it, you know, that was just the way I was raised. Nope, you know, so I would go in there and try to be like because I was the face, I was the guy that kind of got everybody going and in kind of the raw rock guy of the group and anyway, so I would go in there and do that. But it just got harder and harder and harder. So finally my sister was set to be my donor. And then right there at the last they came back and said my sister's kidding wasn't gonna work. So my my wife, who was a different blood type, and she said, ty, I cannot watch you go through this dallasis And I'll tell you guys this, If you know somebody going through dallass say a prayer for them, because that is a tough place. I mean, it's a hopeless place in a lot of cases because people were just waiting to get the.

29:14 Right organs or whatever that may be right. So it's just hard. I will tell you. My wife says, I can't watch you go through this anymore. It's just hard. But in the meantime, she asked me if we would go down. We were going to a family or your union, one of her extended families, and she said we were there that weekend and she said, Todd, do you mind telling the story? I said, Crystal, if they want to hear my problems, I'll be glad to share it with me. So I told I told my story, and on the way home that night, like four or five of them texted me and said, hey, thanks for shared. I've signed up. You know, we're going on to be a you know, signed up to order donars. Hey, that helped me hear your story, helped me through X wherever that may be.

29:59 And I thought to my self, well, how selfish should buy if I can simply tell my story. And help other people. Wow, And it kind of goes back to that Hawaiian thing, you know, storytelling. I mean, it's important we all have stories, and I encourage people to share because you don't ever know what the personal on your right or left is going through, and that might have been the perfect time they need to hear your story. So that really changed my mindset a point of times about it. But my wife says, how I can't see do this. I'm going in and I'm gonna donate my kidney and return somebody that matches you will get will donate.

30:39 Their kiddy to you and move you up on the list. So she goes in and she does all the blood work, and she she calls me and she's crying, and I'm like, what is wrong? And she says, ty, I match you perfectly. So Benita to say all that I received my wife's kidney six years ago, and I tell you it's in the best six years of my life. And these the cool story is is the six year old daughter that I talked about having to leave and I want to be here far. About three months ago I got to walk down the aisle. So see it was an amazing story. Again, on the. Other side of some of this adversity is some amazing things.

31:22 Well, how can somebody start building that kind of mindset if they're if they're in the middle of, you know, something that just seems impossible. Where would you tell them to start small. You know, we're not going to change it overnight. Yeah, small steps, take small steps, and celebrate the small winds. Because so much we set this long goal of we're going to do this, and we don't celebrate the small winds along the way, right, kind of stop and smell the roses. Right, Sometimes we've got to really think about that. And what I say is, if it is to you know, to start walking a mile a day, well maybe today you can't walk a mile, maybe you can walk.

32:06 You know, you can walk for ten minutes. I was listening to somebody who started her transformation by just walking to the end of the driveway and back. Yes, So I mean whatever that small step is, because I truly believe. That one percent rule is such a true story. Right, if we can get one percent better today, just say where we're going to be in six months of the year. Right, So find the small things, and I encourage it. Don't try to change the world overnight. Take something small. You know. One of the stories to talk about, but he is a guy that wanted to start working out. He said he would get up. The first first day or two, he got up and got dressed to go work out. He didn't make it to the gym, but he started getting up and getting ready, and then the next day he'd get up and get ready and he went to the gym.

32:58 And then but he didn't work you know, but he started taking the steps to get there. And so what I encourage people to do is find something small and celebrate the small wins. Right. Well, you're you're like this successful businessman too, and so you're you're you're out there, I mean, you know, just listening to you. You know, here you are building a business and you're dealing with all this stuff. What has adversity taught you about leadership? You know, it's taught me a lot. First of all, I I love people, and it's taught me to really appreciate everybody in whatever form and fashion they come to us in, right, whatever the state they're in the present moment. And I think it's helped me in a lot of ways because I feel like, I mean, there's a lot of times at work we taught work, but I love, I love to get to know people and love to try to help people. Not I mean, life's too short to just worry about work, yep. I mean how can I help you as a person? And we grow as a business partners together, right or as a team, how do we get better? And that that's a side, But as a person, how can we work with each other? How can I help you? Because if I can't help you, maybe this isn't the right spot or vice versas a lot of times it's me helping you, but also them helping me.

34:28 I mean, we help each other. And so I really believe it's helped me understand that we all come in different shapes, form sizes, and different experiences and we're all doing with different things, but understanding and listening to each other because this world is a tough world. I always say, we got to throw our arms from each other and help each other. Versus trying to find out what's wrong with each other, how much better somebody is than each other. Bringing all that, let's how do we help each other through this? And so, yes, adversity has definitely helped me believe it. Yeah. So with all the health stuff that's in your background, did you feel like there were moments when when you felt like things were impossible.

35:11 With your business? Absolutely did, and I walked through that. Yeah, I mean there were days. I mean, just like I think it was just like any business owner, small business owner. Small business is hard and it's just I mean, but as you know, it's part of the biggest the US economy. I mean, small business carries this you know, this country in a lot of ways. But it's the hardest thing. And I think it was the hardest and the thing I ever did in my life, but the most rewarding thing I ever did in my life as well. So there were days were really hard, and but I mean there there were times, I mean I just you know, I put my head down and prayer and find out what was the best thing to do at this moment.

35:55 At this point in time and again go back and take it a small step to get through it. Well, what would you you know, I'm just thinking again about you know somebody that if whatever people are going through as they're listening to this, what would you want them to hear from your story? Well, I want them to hear that that I mean, I'm those you know byonic guy or I'm know something. I have nothing special, I'm not. You know, we're all we all have the tools we need kind of what we talked about earlier, and so do you. So does every person listening. It's a matter of whether we're going to just determine, determined to do what we need to do. To take a small step, don't take the big leads, and don't be frustrated. We don't that first leaps not where we need it to be.

36:46 Take the small steps and celebrate. Take a small another small step, and keep celebrating. But I will tell you it's it's it's not easy. But you know. What what is Yeah, at the end of the day, what is easy? Well, you know, I'm just I'm thinking too tie of what what what it is that we can control? And when you think about it, at the times, you know, like a few years ago, I had a hip replaced. There's things that you are just completely not in control. Right. You go into that hospital, you go into that surgery, you're out and somebody else is taking care of you, and you don't have any control over that. The only thing really that you have control of.

37:31 Is is your mindset. Right, that's right, And be thankful for what we have at this moment in time, like you can. You know, I think nowadays two with all this social media and all these you know, different things and ais and all this stuff, we allays the things that we wish we were. There, We wish we could have this, or we were doing something different. We're all blessed in our own ways, and we we we you know, be. Be excited where we're at and what we can do with what we have in front of us right now. Right, Yeah, it's like what what can I What can I do? What can I you know, instead of I can't do that or I can't do that, it's like what can I do to help myself?

38:18 Really? Yeah? How do you how do you hold on to hope when the outcome seems really uncertain? You know? And that's a good point. Because I would tell you as a you know, going back to my. Daughter, I used to. I used to really it was hard when I would go to. See graduations and I would go to friends graduations, and I never thought I would be able to be there for my daughter. So I never dream. I would not let myself dream that far out because I never thought I. Would be there. Yeah, I never thought I would be there. And so to see her walk me down the aisle to see her graduate, you know, to see my adopted daughter who we got at birth, who's now fifty and she get ready for her graduation in a couple of years, Yeah, it's.

39:04 Just been a blessing. And I don't take for granted of any day, right, I mean, I mean, like for the season, and I mean I've got my fifteen year old has soccer practice. I go to practices. I love them because that's a moment I need to watch her and be there with her and enjoy the day. I don't for granted in anything, you know, because we're not promised anything, right, So but I I just. I'm very thankful for all we get. Well, do you feel like this no options mindset is what real resilience looks. Like I do. I do because here's the thing. Sometimes, and this may sound a little harsh, sometimes we're too soft. Sometimes we just got to quit complaining because it's easy to complain.

39:57 Quit complain, and let's figure out how what we can do to get there versus what we don't we don't want to do, because because if we don't do anything, that's what we're gonna be. In the same spot tomorrow. Right, yeah, yeah, So let's. Do something to get us to the you know. And so I always dis encourage people. You know, let's let's tough it up a little bit. And I know again I'm going to go back because I I know friends and I've got people that don't have that. Control that there are some circumstances that that's not as easy. It's easily said to don't right, in a lot of cases, it's up to us. It's absolutely so think that way. Don't give yourself a plan B, because it's too easy to take a route out when we give.

40:44 That plan B. Well, our time is just about up. I always am amazed at how quickly. Time goes. I spend a lot of time talking about living with purpose and have it. You know what your what your purpose for your money is what your purpose really is for your life. So what would you like to leave our listeners with today? You know, I I would say it's it's always again And I brought it up well to go. As I've gotten through a lot of this, I just realized each day. Is so valuable.

41:25 But again, we live in a really tough world now, I mean, and I and I encourage everybody. Let's try a little harder to help one another versus bear one another down. There's a little bit of this goes a long way, absolutely, And I mean, we don't all have to agree, we all don't have to look at the same thing, but we can be respectful and we can help each other through. And I encourage I encourage that. Because again that goes into a mindset of how we look at them. Just because someone looks at differently doesn't mean that they're wrong. It's just the way they look at it, booth. But to me again, it simply said, put your let's put our arm run each other and help us through. Uh. And I encourage you to find somebody to put your arm around and go share your story because you never know who you can help.

42:18 Well, as I every time I have a new guest on, I want to remind everyone that on my website is a guest downloads and there will be a flyer there that that has TI Ties information where you can find him if you want to reach out to him and have a discussion about any of this with him. Yes, you know, and but I tell you this because this is going to sound funny, but on my on my information, on my website TI gets dot com, there is a phone number, and there's emails and all this stuff. But that phone number is my cell phone. Okay. I encourage people if I think you know, my goal is to help one or whoever and if they have questions on anything that we've discussed, are or know somebody that we need to talk with, call me. If I don't answer, I'll call you back upon awesome.

43:12 Well okay, watch out and might get some phone calls. Bring it. I love it all right. Well, with that, we have got to wrap up, So thank you so much, Ty for being with us today. You very well. Thank you to. Everyone for listening to the Ask Good Questions podcast, and we will see you next time. Today's episode is over, but we need Ask Good Questions again. Didn't you don't miss out as we broadcast live every Wednesday, six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at w fourcy dot com. Joined Banina Bell Anderson next week for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement, behavioral finance issues, health and wellness.

44:01 Enmore. Until then, remember to ask good questions