Sept. 23, 2026

Can I OR Can’t I? The Stories That Prove Every Limit Is Self-Imposed

Show Notes
Transcript

What do alligator wrestling, epic fantasy novels, & financial planning have in common? Tom Cladis! Tom joins Bonita to explore how the limits we accept as "truth" are often just stories we've never questioned — & how choosing "can" over "can't" can transform life at any age. Expect bold stories, hard-earned lessons, &a fresh challenge to live more boldly. Especially as we are aging, retiring, & reconsidering what’s next, join us as we look at this through humor, adventure, & hard-won wisdom.

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Welcome to the Ask Good Questions podcast, broadcasting live every Wednesday,

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6 p.m.

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Eastern Time on W4CY Radio at W4CY. com.

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This week and every week, we will reach for a

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higher purpose in money and life, as well as a

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focus on health and wellness. Now, let's join your host,

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Benita Bell Anderson, as together we start with asking good questions.

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Hey, welcome to the Ask Good Questions podcast. I am

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your host, Benita Bell Anderson, and we have a fabulous

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show for you today. Maybe something that you wouldn't expect.

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A lot of times I'm dealing with people that are

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in the financial world. This guy is in the financial world,

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but we're not going to talk finances. We are going

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to have a good time talking about a lot of

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really interesting things. And with that, I'd like to invite

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Tom Kladis to the podcast stage. Welcome, Tom.

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Morning, Benita. Very happy to be here.

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Awesome.

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Let me tell you a little bit about this guy.

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He calls himself a free thinker, a wrestler, actually in

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alligator wrestling, a provocateur, a Christian, a thrill seeker, an adventurer,

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a warrior, and a certified alligator wrestler. He's also a

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financial planner. But we're not going to talk about finances today,

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are we, Tom?

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No, no, that's the uninteresting part.

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Yeah, that's boring. So he's been called a lot of things.

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One of them being a blasphemer. George Bernard Shaw said

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all great truths start out as blasphemies. He also believes that.

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He wants to seek out and embrace the great truth

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of life and living without limits that God has provided

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for us. He believes minds are like parachutes. They have

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to be open to function properly. He's also written some books.

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He's published one non-fiction book called How to Lift Cars

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Off Your Face and Other Tips for Living Forever. And

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he's also gotten into novels, into fiction. And this one

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is called age of serpents and scorpions because his first

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love as it turns out is writing and he discovered

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that about himself so anything you want to add to

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that tom.

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That pretty much sums me up if you can put

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me in a box that's uh that's it.

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I don't think you're one to want to be put

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into boxes.

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No no and that's that's always been my driving um

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my driving goal. It's a long time ago. There was this,

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it's called Myers Briggs. I don't know if you're familiar

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with it, but it's a, it's a personality profile and

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everyone was, they, they know you by, by certain letters.

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I'm a, I'm a AFG. I'm a H Q Z

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or something like that. And it, it always, my, my

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wife always wanted me to take the test. I said, no,

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I don't want to be defined by letters. I don't

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want to be put into a box. I lived, I

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live outside the box. There's no box that can contain me.

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So that's from the very beginning. I've never wanted to

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be categorized as a certain way.

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Well, you have wrestled alligators. We don't have time today

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to get into alligator wrestling, but you've wrestled alligators. You've

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performed handstands on mountaintops. How in the worldâ and you're

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a financial plannerâ How in the world do all these

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things coalesce to come together and shape who you are now?

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Um, it's, it's, again, it's, it's, it's for me, uh,

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pursuing adventure and, um, uh, I've never said no to anything. Um, and, uh,

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you know, um, not wanting to be put in a box.

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I don't know how many financial planners, uh, wrestle alligators,

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but I don't think there's too many of them, but, uh,

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I've always, uh, I've always, um, pursued uh adventure and

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um i jump out of airplanes i i bungee jump

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out of hot air balloons i wrestle alligators and my

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friends they're always pushing me is that's how wrestling alligators

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came up they said well why don't you wrestle alligators

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it's like you know, it never occurred to me that

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I couldn't do it. And it's just like, I just

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want to experience life and the freedom of living without limits. And,

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you know, a lot of people will think, well, wrestling

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alligators is too dangerous. Um, But in my mind, the

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danger is real, but fear is a choice. And I

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choose not to fear and just focus on what I

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want to happen. So there's nothing I feel that I

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can't do, and I'm always pursuing it.

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Well, a long time ago, you told me a little

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bit about this story. You became a flight attendant, and

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along the way, you become a financial planner. And now

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you're really moving into being an author. And it seems

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like the throughput for all of those is wanting to

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experience life. Because what has pulled you? Is there something

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that has pulled you towards each of those different things?

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Thank you. There is. When I was in college, I

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was having lunch in the dining hall. I had only

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20 minutes between classes, and a young girl sat next

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to me, very attractive. I thought it was going to

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go in a different direction than it did. But she

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was a philosophy student, and she was taking a survey

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for her class, and she was asking people, what they

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wanted to get out of life. And again, that's not

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what I was hoping the conversation would have led to.

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But it occurred to me, I gave it some thought,

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and Bonita, I thought, you know, I don't know how

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it's going to happen, but I want to, in some way,

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impact people's lives and help them to live better lives

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or make their lives easier in some way. And so, again,

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I didn't know how that was going to happen. I

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met out of college. I became a flight attendant. I

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was flying around the world, going to different places, meeting

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exciting people, having great experiences. And this was before the

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age of the Internet, of the World Wide Web. And

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so I was always writing letters home. to friends and

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family and telling them all the things I'd been doing. And,

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you know, I'd have some fun with it. I'd juice

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them up a little bit. And people enjoyed receiving my letters,

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and I found I enjoyed writing them. And I won

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a short story writing contest. I wrote a short story

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called everything you always wanted to know about flying, but

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we're afraid to ask. And it occurred to me, this

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is how I can reach people. This is four years

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out of college. I figured it out. This is how

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I can impact people. So it's what I wanted to do,

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but it's, it's hard to segue from, from, going from

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a flight attendant to being, uh, an author, uh, right

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away and being able to support a family. Uh, I was, uh,

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I got married and had three young children. And so, um,

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so my degree in college was, uh, business administration and, uh,

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I hooked up with a person who had his investment

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company and he hired me. And so financial planning is,

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that was the, uh, That helped me put a roof

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over my kids' heads and food on the table. But still,

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I neverâ and, you know, actually, I still was impacting

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people and helping them with their finances, financial planning. And

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so that was still consistent with where I saw myself going.

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But in the back of my head, my passion was riding,

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and I knew I could do much more than help

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people financially, help them live better. better and fuller lives

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and so I started writing and my writing time was

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from four to eight in the morning on Saturdays and

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Sundays because that's the only time I had the phone

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wasn't ringing no one was calling my name I had

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complete quiet where I could really dive into what I

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was writing and so it all kind of came together

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I didn't plan it that way but you know it's

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just that's how it happened Well, that's how those all

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those coalesce. Yeah.

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Yeah. And then the next thing I wanted to comment

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on is you talk about the limits that we have

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in our lives or those that we self-impose them. Where

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did that idea of where did you first begin to

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believe that limits are self-imposed?

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Well, in the intro you mentioned I'm a Christian. I

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was going to church every Sunday, Sunday school, and we...

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We were studying the Bible verse Matthew 17, 20. And

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in that Bible verse, and I was a young kid

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at the time, you know, it was probably before I

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turned 10. But we're having all these discussions. And in

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that Bible verse, Jesus is telling us, if we have

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the faith of a mustard seed, nothing will be impossible

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for us. And that really resonated with me. It's just like,

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I like the idea of nothing being impossible for us.

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And it was described to me as a partnership with God.

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And God's part of the deal was providing his access,

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authority over all things to us, giving us access to that.

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Our part was having the faith of the mustard seed,

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just believing that we could do this. And So the

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secondâ and it occurred to me that at a young

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age that, you know, if we stop to think that

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something is impossibleâ That breaks the conduit because, you know,

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on one side of the fence you have God through

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whom all things are possible, and on the other, opposite,

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away from God, things are not possible. And if you

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think for a second something's not possible, you know, it

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puts you on the opposite side of the fence from God.

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When Peter, one of his disciples, was in a boat

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in the Sea of Galilee and Jesus called out to him,

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uh to walk on water it was a huge leap

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of faith because peter couldn't even swim and so he

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got out there and and uh he but with his

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heart mind and soul he believed everything was possible through

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through jesus and he stepped out of the boat he's

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walking on water and what happens bonita there's a gust

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of wind that comes up he has a moment of

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doubt he sinks in the water and uh jesus puts it,

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helps him back into the boat, and he says, Peter,

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why did you doubt me? And that's the whole thing.

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I think there's a real crisis of belief here where people, Christians,

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claim to believe in God and Jesus, but they don't

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believe what they say. I got into an argument with

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one of the archbishops of the Catholic Church over this

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Bible verse, and And I said, you know, I believe

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that if you have the faith of Jesus, Jesus wasn't

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a kidder. I don't think he was putting us on.

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And the bishop tried to tell me, he said, well,

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that's not really what Jesus meant. And I said, uh-oh, uh-oh.

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That sounds a lot like what the serpent said to

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Adam and Eve in the garden that, you know, did

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God tell you that you'd die if you take a

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bite of the forbidden fruit? And he didn't really mean that.

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And it's just like that's where the conversation ended. The

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bishop didn't like being compared to the serpent in the garden.

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But I took these things very literally. And so that's

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always been my guiding force. It's just we have to

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overcome these things. these limits that we put in our

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minds that, that are self-fulfilling. They're, you know, they're all,

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all limits are self-imposed. We're not created to have limits.

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Right. And another thing that you've said is that life

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is meant to be experienced, not managed. It seems like

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through all these experiences that has been, I mean, I

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think that that's been defined for you again and again

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and again, right?

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Right. You know, I've been asked to lecture in schools.

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And when I go into classrooms, I take with me

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a 10-foot-long piece of 2x4. And I put it on

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the floor, and I ask the students to walk across

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the 2x4. And they said, well, this is silly. It's easy.

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I said, well, just do it. And so they walk across.

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They hop. Some of them walk backwards, proving to me

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it's the easiest thing in the world. And then I say, okay,

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now I'm going to, then I elevate the board between

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two desks, three feet high. Tom, this is easy. They

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still do the same thing, showing me how easy it is.

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And then I tell them, okay, look, in Colorado, there's

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a big canyon. It's called the Royal Gorge, 1,400 foot drop.

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And I'm going to put this board across the Royal Gorge.

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Now I want you to walk across it. And they say, no,

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we can't do it. I said, why? You just proved

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to me that it's the easiest. the world for you

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to do what's changed well we might fall and i

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said oh so your focus has changed on on something

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that's you know is the easiest thing to do onto

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a negative outcome and so my whole goal is to

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get people away from thinking about negative outcomes and limits

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and onto things that Yes, you can do this. And,

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and so that message that really resonates when I was, uh,

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when I was, um, The first time I went skydiving,

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I was a flight attendant. And I don't know if

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you ever saw the movie The Spy Who Loved Me.

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But in that sequence, it's a James Bond movie. He's

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skiing down a slope in Switzerland. There's these bad guys

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chasing him. They're shooting at him. He skis off of

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a cliff. He sheds his skis. In his backpack is

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a parachute. He parachutes down to the ground, takes off

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his jumpsuit, and he's wearing a full tuxedo. He walks

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into the ballroom and gets the Bond girl. And I

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thought that was so cool. But the person who was

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in charge of filming that sequence was on one of

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my flights, owned a skydiving school in Oakland, California. And

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he said, Tom, come out to California and I'll teach

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you how to skydive for free. And I'm 22 years old.

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I said, oh, my God, this is so exciting. You know,

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I'm always pursuing, you know, pursuing that. And I had

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my next block of four days off. I was supposed

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to go home and see my parents. I called my mom.

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I explained to her. You know, I'm going to go

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out to Oakland and learn how to skydive. And she goes, Tommy, no,

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you're not. And I said, Mom, yes, I am. I'm

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22 years old. You can't tell me what to do anymore.

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And she said, Tommy, don't do it. And it's like, Mom,

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I'm going to do it. I'm sorry. I'll come home

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on the next block of days off. So we hung up.

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And as I'm packing my suitcase, you know, it occurred

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to me that every time growing up when I did

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something my mom told me not to do, Something went wrong,

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and I didn't want to be falling to earth with

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a parachute that didn't open, and my last thought being,

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I should have listened to mom. And so, Benita, I

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didn't go. I was so furious with her and with myself.

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It's just like that doubt she put in my mind,

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it just blossomed, and I couldn't do something that I

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desperately wanted to do. I've got to interrupt you.

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I've got to ask this. So you've said that all

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limits are self-imposed, but there's a difference. There's got to

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be some limits that are real, right? And ones that

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we've just accepted without question. And so frame this with that,

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that there are some limits that are real.

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I don't believe that.

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You know what I, you know, the thought that just

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came to my mind was that sub that imploded. Because they,

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remember that several months, last year sometime? So tell me

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why you do.

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That. Why I believe that there are no real limits. Well,

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because Jesus told us there weren't. And the example I

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give of, well, we had this in a previous conversation.

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Lance Myers, this kid in Hortonville, Wisconsin, 18 years old,

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working on his car at his girlfriend's house. The car

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fell off the jack onto his face, and there was

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no one around for him to help him get out

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from that. So he lifted the car off his face.

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And when reporters find out about that, they ask him, Lance,

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how are you able to lift this car off your face?

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And he said, because I didn't want to die. So

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in choosing to live, he had to simultaneously subconsciously choose

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to remove this bear in his mind that he couldn't

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lift a car. And he lifted the car. You know,

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if we were walking down the street and we saw

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a car on the side parked on the side of

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the road, and I said, Lance, leave that car alone.

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lift that car. He said, I can't do that. But

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when he was forced to make a choice between life

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and death, he removed that barrier from his mind and

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he was able to lift the car. So that's an example.

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It seems like a hard limit that we shouldn't be

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able to lift a car. Peter walking on water, that's

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defying gravity. You know, theoretically, we shouldn't be able to

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do that. But focus on Jesus and him saying that

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he removed that barrier from his mind, that he couldn't

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do it, and so he did it. This is going

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to sound... far-fetched, but I also believe that human beings

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can fly, and the only reason that we don't is

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because we think we can't. I mean, Peter always, he

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already showed us we can defy gravity, but, you know,

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it's in our minds that human beings can't fly, so

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we don't fly. I think if, I honestly believe this,

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if I am skydiving and my chute doesn't open and

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my first thought is oh no I'm going to die

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it's just like I'm going to live I will be

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taught to fly like Lance was able to lift the

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car off his face but again you know it's far

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fetched it's hard to wrap your mind around it but

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that's you know, it's a journey. It's, it's, you know,

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you've got to just take baby steps to get to there. And, uh,

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and that's, that's what I'm all about. Trying to convince

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people to take these baby steps to remove doubt from

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their minds, because it just, it puts you in this box.

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You know, Edison, Edison said, we, we only know one

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millionth of 1% of all there is to know. So

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how on earth can we say that anything is impossible

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based on that very limited, uh, uh, base of knowledge

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you know uh uh In the 1950s, scientists said it's

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physiologically impossible for the human body to run a mile

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in less than four minutes. Roger Bannister chose not to

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believe it, and he was the first one to do it.

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Now the record is three minutes and 42 seconds. In

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the 1600s, the Catholic Church said, It was dogma that

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the earth was the center of the universe. And Galileo

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had scientific proof that, no, the sun was the center

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of the universe. Well, the church persecuted him for 10 years,

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ultimately led to his death, but he was right. And

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it's just like, we have to be very careful what

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we put in our minds that are hard limits. And

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I honestly believe that there are no hard limits.

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Well, there's also a powerful word that is... the word yet.

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And so when it comes to what people believe they

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can do, uh, I, it seems to me like that

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in couching your language around how you talk to yourself

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and what you say, uh, it seems like, well, I

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haven't done that yet would be a positive step.

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That, I think, in any language is the very most

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important word in any language, that three-letter word, yet. Because

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it's not that something is impossible, it just hasn't been

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done yet. And it leaves your mind open to possibilities.

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You're not shutting down in impossibilities. And when your mind

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is open to possibilities, there's no limits there. And I

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think that's very important. I think... I think one of

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the worst things that we can tell our children, I mean,

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children coming into the world and you think, you know,

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their minds are, they're way open, they're sponges and they

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accept everything. And one of the worst things we can

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tell them is there's no such thing as Santa Claus

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because all of a sudden you've put a limit in

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their minds. And as soon as you accept one limit,

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if it's hard to imagine or if it's hard to

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or if it hasn't been done then they there's more

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and more limits come into your mind and all of

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a sudden you are in this little box and you've

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dropped anchor in this box and but in this box

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it's like a jail you're jailed in this but freedom

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is outside of that box and that's where you that's

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where you want to get to you just by leaving

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your mind open with the word yet that's that's the

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bridge that will take you over there.

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Would that be it seems to me like if someone

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listening is a is like feeling stuck in a routine

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or the next step. Maybe that would be the first

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thing you'd tell them is to start changing their language.

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Exactly. Exactly. I mean, it's and, you know, you don't

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have to, you know, we've been talking about some extreme things,

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wrestling alligators, jumping out of airplanes, things like that. It

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doesn't have to be something like that. It's just something

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that and each individual has things in their minds that

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they're either afraid to do or that scare them or

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they don't think that they can do. Like if it's

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public speaking, if it's taking a test. If it's asking

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a boy or a girl out on a date, you know,

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what if they say this? What if it doesn't go right?

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What if I can't remember this on the test? What

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if I freeze in public? It's all these negative thoughts

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that are filling your mind that prevent you from doing

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things that you really can do if you're focused on

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can instead of can't. Henry Ford said this. Whether you

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think you can or you can't, you're right. And so

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you take baby steps. It is a journey, not a destination.

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You just keep going. Think of who are the biggest

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risk takers when they come into the world. We talked

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about babies before, when they're learning to walk. um they

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fall down a lot and and sometimes they get hurt

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but does that stop them no they they they stay

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focused on what they want to do and eventually they

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they learn to walk then they walk faster they start

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Can I OR Can’t I? The Stories That Prove Every Limit Is Self-Imposed

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