Jan. 9, 2025

"Surviving Grief and Betrayal: Insights from "Learning to Dance in the Rain"

"Surviving Grief and Betrayal: Insights from "Learning to Dance in the Rain"

Shelby Wagner shares her deeply personal journey of heartbreak, healing, & hope. Shelby opens up about the devastating loss of her beloved husband and the painful betrayal of a romance scam that followed. Through resilience and determination, she...

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Shelby Wagner shares her deeply personal journey of heartbreak, healing, & hope. Shelby opens up about the devastating loss of her beloved husband and the painful betrayal of a romance scam that followed. Through resilience and determination, she found the strength to rebuild her life and rediscover joy. Shelby's story is one of courage, renewal, and the power of faith in the face of adversity. Don’t miss this inspiring interview about learning to dance in life’s most unexpected storms.

Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We

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make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No

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liability explicit or implies shall be extended to W FOURCY

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Radio or it's employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments

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should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for

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choosing W FOURCY Radio.

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Welcome to to Ask Good Questions podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,

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six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

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w fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we

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will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,

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as well as a focus on health and wellnent. Now,

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let's join your host, Anita bell Anderson, as together we

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start with Asking Good Questions.

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Hello, this is your host Benita bell Anderson, and I

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am so excited today to bring to you an award

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winning author, Shelby Wagner and invite her to join me

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on the screen and we will have a wonderful discussion

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about her book called Learning to Dance in the rain.

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Hello, Benita, thank you. How are you doing today?

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I am super getting over the holidays and just moving

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on into twenty twenty five.

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That's good. You got to all those New Year's resolutions now.

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Actually, I gave up on New Year's resolutions. I am

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now just going to live life the same every month

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through the year because I usually my New Year's resolutions

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would be gone by the third week of January.

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Well, I haven't even had time to think about him

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with that. From my Christmas in North Carolina. It's been

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so darn cold here in Michigan twenty six I think.

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Well below yeah, oh yeah, Well, just to let everyone know,

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I'm coming to you from Saint George, Utah, where it

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does get colder at night, but it warms up to

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like sixty degrees in sunny during the day.

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So which is why I'm a snowbird and you're in

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what was it, Michigan?

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Yes, I'm in Michigan, just barely. I'm about four miles

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north of Indiana border. Okay, I could be father in

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North and it would be a lot worse, but it's

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good enough for me right here.

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Okay, Well, why don't I tell everyone a little bit

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about you, and then we'll have a wonderful discussion.

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All right.

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So Shelby was born in Arkansas, and she lived most

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of her life in Michigan. She currently, as we said,

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lives in south western Michigan, near her family. She holds

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two bachelor degrees from Oakland University and Rochester, Michigan, and

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a master's degree from Michigan State University.

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She was a classroom teacher.

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And a stay at home mom for eight years, and

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a music teacher. She actually became a church organist in

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nineteen fifty nine. That's a long time to be a

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church organist, Shelby.

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Oh yeah, I realized that, but it feels funny when

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I'm met there on Sunday morning. Yeah.

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Well, she started that when she was sixteen years old.

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And she was also a private piano teacher.

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Here. She is now an author.

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She has she's been the director of church choirs from

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preschool through adults. I'm actually in the choir at my church,

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so I enjoyed doing that. You're seeing soprano or I'm

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a soprano. I'm not a very good soprano, but I

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am a soprano. Well, I was a soprano too, and

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I love to sing. My talents apparently were needed more

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for the playing of the piano company.

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I got to sing occasionally after getting older. You know,

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she changes your body happen. Yea, my voice dropped the same.

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Now I'm a tenor. But I still have fun singing

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at karaoke on Friday nights. And my favorite song is

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to sing in my Range. By the way, is my

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way from drying Sinatra.

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I totally get that completely because she she is a

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you know, this is this is a you know, this

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is a girl that.

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Is not letting any moss grow underneath her feet.

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She is the author.

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Of an award winning book why Don't You Hold It

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up There the First Time? Called Learning to Dance in

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the Rain, and which is basically about surviving grief, internet

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dating and romance scams. I cannot wait to hear about

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that part of it. Okay, So today we're going to

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talk all about resilience and determination. So what does resilience

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mean to you and how can others cultivate it?

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Wow, so we're starting with the end of my speech

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kind of, but I think I can handle that. Resilience

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to me is bouncing back. You know, life is full

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of challenges, right. I mean sometimes they come one right

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after the other, and you can either Oh, there's lots

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of things you can do to handle some of those.

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A lot of people take up drinking, and other people

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get depressed and say in me all day or longer

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than they really I need to do. Some people get angry.

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Some people get within themselves and they don't do anything. Well,

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there was a time during my experience in the past

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five years that and maybe even more I just don't remember,

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but there were times when I said, oh, gee, well,

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for example, when my husband died, I'll we go with that.

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He died twenty sixteen. From April to twenty seventeen, I

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thought at the time the worst year of my life,

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because I had me replaced in April, and a month

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later or two months later, actually three months later, my

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husband died and it was very unsuspected. We had been

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visiting my daughter and my sister in Michigan. We'd been

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in the Upper Peninsula where my mother was in a

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nursing home, and I I'd spent most of my time

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with her, and so when we left, said goodbye, got

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in a car. My husband started coughing, and I right away.

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The first cough I thought, that is really I've heard

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that coffee. It didn't sound right, right, it did so

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much well, it didn't sound right. And I just kept

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quiet because he didn't like me. You know. After about

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half an hour or so, he was caught. He was

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coughing again, and I said, how long have you had

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that cough? I'm not sick, he said, you know, but

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the more that we went traveled back down to my daughters,

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you know, I just really got worried about it because

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it was a very deep, very deep gutt roll cough.

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It wasn't in his throat. And so I said, well,

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we had been planning to go back to Tennessee to

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our home the next day, and I said, I think

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I should take you to the walking clinic before we go.

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Oh no, I'm not. I just want to get back

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home to Tennessee, to my my favorite place, you know,

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in the mountains. And so I drove home, and I

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even tried. Just before we got home, I turned left

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at this one place that I should have turned right,

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and he says, what are you doing? I thought he

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was asleep, but he said, what are you doing? That's

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the wrong way, And I says, I know, but I'm

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taking you to the hospital. Oh no, you're not. You

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turn this car around and we're going home. I just

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want to go home. That was on a let's see,

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that was on Friday night and no Saturday, and so

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I turned it around and went home. What else could

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I you know, I could have insisted sometime. I felt

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guilty later because now to call it, you know, it's

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what to do. We got home about six o'clock and

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he said, you know, let's get up. We'll go out

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to our favorite breakfast place tomorrow. I had one more

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Sunday that I didn't have to play the Oregon and

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so he called me from his room with his cell phone.

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He says, you know, I just really like being in

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my nice, warm bed with us. I'm shining in here,

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and I don't want to go to breakfast yet. I

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said that was fine, and so I started reading or

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doing my usual computer stuff, and about three o'clock he

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called me a game said I think you better come

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down here right away. And I went down and I

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found a man who couldn't get out of bed. He

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was so weak. And I said, well, I'm calling nine

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one month. He says, no, He says, you get me

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to the car take me to the hospital. So I

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had a walker from my knee surgery, and so I

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got him dressed and got him in the car and

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took him. And that was on Sunday about We got

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there about about five o'clock. Well by seven, they said

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he had a very bad clay of pneumonia, and they

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started treating him, and by nine o'clock they said we're

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keeping him. We're waiting for a bed, and so we

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got up into the room about ten and they gave

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him his medicine seemed to be working. About midnight, I

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decided to go home, and I was cold in the hospital.

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You know, it was a nice hot day outside, and

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I hadn't grabbed his sweater or anything, and so that happened.

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And so I got into the hospital and I had

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a telephone number of the of the nurses station where

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he was, and she said, calm me in the morning,

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and so I did, and there was no answer. I

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let it ring and ring and ring. It was no answer.

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So I said, I got to get to the hospital

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right now. I got there and right away he was

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raging because he hadn't eaten since he got in the hospital.

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Because we had decided the doctor had wanted to do

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this one procedure. I can't remember what it was, but

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they stet the tube down his throat because the medicine

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wasn't getting there to help him, and so they hadn't

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done it. This is eight o'clock the next morning, twelve

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hours after they said that they were going to do it,

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and he was still coughing and he was starving because

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you know, they didn't want him to find who I

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was doing this. So while I was in there, well,

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he says, give me something to do it. He says,

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I'm not going to make it out of this hospital alive.

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And he didn't. That was the last thing I heard

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him say. They filled up his room. About six or

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eight nurses and doctors came, got him, took him off.

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I didn't know what. They didn't say a word to me. Finally,

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one of the women nurses, she says, miss Wagner, you

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can't go into where we're going. She says, I'll show

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you where to stay, and as well, where are you

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putting them? More? I was going into the unit, you know,

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for I see you. Yeah, that was it, and so

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I went in there. I said, how long do you

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think it'll before he'll be ready that I can come

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see me about fifteen minutes, well two and a half

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hours later. I was really I was almost out of

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my mind, not knowing what to do. I had been

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alone the whole time, nobody else in the hospital in

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that room, body and nobody came to talk to me.

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And then all of a sudden, my name was called

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and I went to the door and these two little

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nurses they looked like they were about sixteen years old,

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probably not, but they Miss Wagner was so sorry and

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he didn't make it. And I, being the naive person

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I was, I thought, what the heck does that mean?

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You know? And I said, I said to her, what

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did you say? And she said, mister Wagner didn't make it?

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And I said, what does well, what does that mean? Well,

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his heart stopped and we couldn't get it started again.

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I said, we'll get back there then studying again, you know.

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And it took a few minutes for them to say, well,

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he's gone. There's nothing we can do. So that's how

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I learned my husband had died. Yeah, get it, so

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I want to I'm curious about the transition.

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Now, how long? How long do you feel like you

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were in the initial period of shock and grief and

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all the different emotions before you started. I mean, because

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I know that resilience is going to come into this.

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And it's like when I went through a divorce, I

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finally came to a point where I said, I'm I'm

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going to move forward with my life.

224
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So tell me about that beginning.

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Stages right after all this happened, and you know, you

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have everything that that means with going through a funeral

227
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and you know, taking care of somebody and taking care

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of their estates and all of that stuff.

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Oh yeah, I was shocked fifty years two weeks ahead

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of our fiftieth wedding anniversary. This, yeah, and I had

231
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no idea what I was getting to. I had, you know,

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often thought that Milett probably would be a widow because

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she was eight years older than me.

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And can I ask you how old you are now?

235
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Right now? Well I am, I'm made it too. So

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this happened when you were what seventy six? Then see

237
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this is sixteen, so let's said about eight years ago,

238
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so about seventy four. Yeah, and I'll be eighty three

239
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in March, So you know, I at first, you're a

240
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busy lady for years old. Yeah, why didn't God, God,

241
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why didn't you take me to I mean old to

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do anything, you know. And I was organized at the

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church there in Tennessee. I was also the church secretary.

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And here I am, and my kids, of course I

245
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have a son and daughter. Both of them came over,

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came down and we planned the funeral the next morning,

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and we were all in shock because we had no

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idea this year I was. I was in July, yeah,

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and my daughter was a teacher. And so she says, Mom,

250
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I got three weeks before school start. She says, I'm

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going to stay here with you and my grandson and

252
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who was bought two years older, and that to help you.

253
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But we think you should come back to Michigan. I

254
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had no family there in Tennessee, so I just kind

255
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of I had to follow her advice. I had not

256
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thought all of this through very well. I had a

257
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big mortgage down there on my one off the house

258
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we had built together, and I just had no idea

259
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how I was going to do everything. So I thought

260
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it through it and I said, okay, you stay here

261
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with me. We'll pack up. You know what we can

262
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get done in three weeks and I'll come back to Michigan.

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And she had invited me, she and her husband to

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stay with them for as long as it took to

265
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sell my house. So wow, okay, here was my support.

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And my son agreed that was he was in North Carolina,

267
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but he agreed that this was a good idea for me.

268
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And so it was funny my friends at church. My

269
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daughter said she overheard one of them say, oh, yeah,

270
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shell Be, I'll to go back to Michigan.

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With her daughter.

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And I said, oh really they said that. I was

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sure that's what they said. And I said, well, I

274
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guess that's what I'm going to do. And so we

275
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spent three weeks packing what I would need for the

276
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winter and fixing a house so I could. I already

277
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had had it up for sale, so that was a

278
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no big problem, they are, except for the packing.

279
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Well, there's so many things I want to talk about.

280
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So let's fast forward a little bit through that transition.

281
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You moved back to Michigan. I lived back to Michigan,

282
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and I was living with my daughter and things. You know,

283
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it was going fine. I was grieving. Oh man, she says,

284
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you take your time to grieve and decide what it

285
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is you want to do with the rest of life?

286
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About me, what do you want to do with the

287
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rest of your life? And I'm seventy five. Yeah, I

288
00:17:32.880 --> 00:17:36.119
thought about that way back when I was twenty or thirty.

289
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Seventy five, but it was a very good time. I

290
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got to be with my little grandson who was too

291
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and growing, and my son's son in law's family was

292
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big and they were always coming, you know over, but

293
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and they helped because they were always cheerful and whatever,

294
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and yeah talking, But I mean, like I told Robin

295
00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:01.079
later on, I said, well, I think it was about

296
00:18:01.079 --> 00:18:04.039
six months later. What do you think about me going

297
00:18:04.119 --> 00:18:07.119
on a dating site? I said, I'd like to meet

298
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some friends. I only knew her in law relatives and

299
00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:15.759
they were, you know, friendly, but right, we're all working.

300
00:18:15.799 --> 00:18:18.839
They're a lot younger than me, and so I was

301
00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:21.720
alone a lot during the day and going shopping by

302
00:18:21.720 --> 00:18:23.559
yourself a love bit, you know.

303
00:18:25.079 --> 00:18:28.839
So you went on the internet dating side. Was this

304
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the working site.

305
00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:34.599
For older people or not? Oh? Yeah, there are a

306
00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:37.359
lot of dating sites, and at that's not as many

307
00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:40.960
then as there is now. But yeah, you go on

308
00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:45.920
and you search and you find one that is geared

309
00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:49.720
hit people over fifty five or over sixty five, and

310
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I had a lot of fun. I have to say,

311
00:18:53.400 --> 00:18:55.480
I've met and talked to a lot of people. I

312
00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:58.039
wasn't lonely because it was like this. I was sitting

313
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and talking with him, you know, and that was fun.

314
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And then my mother died, so I had I had

315
00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:08.799
not only my own house to get rid of and

316
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:13.480
pack up, you know, I also my sister and brother

317
00:19:14.079 --> 00:19:18.279
on my mother's house. So all of a sudden that happens. Well,

318
00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:22.640
then I get an thing from my an offer for

319
00:19:22.759 --> 00:19:25.640
my house, and I have to go down to Tennessee

320
00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:30.640
and you know, to finish up with my packing. So

321
00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:33.359
I was alone in my house in Tennessee, where my

322
00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:36.119
husband and I had built that house together. He had

323
00:19:36.119 --> 00:19:38.920
designed it parting to the way I wanted to design

324
00:19:39.079 --> 00:19:42.839
memories right, and everywhere there was was a memory of

325
00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:45.400
this and a memory of that. And all of a sudden,

326
00:19:45.400 --> 00:19:48.599
the phone ring or the testament, and then I went

327
00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:52.000
to answer it, and I was practically in tears. Well

328
00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:53.599
it was one of the men that I had just

329
00:19:53.720 --> 00:19:56.480
met that was not too far from my house, and

330
00:19:56.640 --> 00:20:02.240
apparently that's ten miles away whatever, and it was very encouraging,

331
00:20:02.519 --> 00:20:05.440
very Oh, I'm very interested in getting to know you

332
00:20:05.519 --> 00:20:08.480
and be friends and blah blah blah. And that was

333
00:20:08.519 --> 00:20:11.200
the one who got who. I didn't fall in love

334
00:20:11.240 --> 00:20:15.759
with this man. I just wanted to be friends. But

335
00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:18.960
all of a sudden, did he ask you for a bit?

336
00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:21.079
Did he end up asking you for money?

337
00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:24.759
That's the one that my book is about. Yes, And

338
00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:29.119
my book is in for four sections. The first one

339
00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:33.000
tells the story of my husband's passing, the third one

340
00:20:33.240 --> 00:20:36.440
is about and the second one actually I was getting

341
00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:40.160
yourself ready because like the second part of the book

342
00:20:40.759 --> 00:20:43.319
is how to hand you, you have to have a

343
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certain positive mindset to be on the internet dating site

344
00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:51.440
because you're going to get rejected. You're going to want

345
00:20:51.480 --> 00:20:54.480
to talk to somebody that he looks really really nice.

346
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Maybe I'd like to him, and then all of a

347
00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:59.000
sudden he ghosts you and you don't see him anymore,

348
00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:02.880
you know so, and rejection is hard no matter what

349
00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:06.359
you do. So that second one is getting yourself confidence back,

350
00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:09.359
because I had lost mine all of a sudden. I

351
00:21:09.400 --> 00:21:13.119
was alone, not having anybody to bounce my opinions on

352
00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:16.319
and change them or whatever. And so anyway, then the

353
00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:20.119
third one is going into like what is love really?

354
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:24.200
What is attraction? You know? And I have a theory

355
00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:27.200
about why there are so many divorces, and I'm not

356
00:21:27.240 --> 00:21:29.640
going to go into that because I want you to

357
00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:33.519
read my book. But finally I get into the story

358
00:21:33.559 --> 00:21:37.160
about internet dating. There's a lot of questions stop provoking

359
00:21:37.279 --> 00:21:39.920
questions in the middle of the book. There to help

360
00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:42.559
you to figure out what it is you want to

361
00:21:42.599 --> 00:21:44.480
do with the rest of your life. Well, kind of

362
00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:48.480
what's the short you're just sure scam?

363
00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:52.079
Well, what's the short story on how you got scammed?

364
00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:55.960
Well? He worked on number one. You got to remember,

365
00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:59.839
I'm packing up my house. It's I think I have

366
00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:04.920
so I have that stress of packing. I did not

367
00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:08.640
know I was ill. I got down in Tennessee on

368
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:11.279
a Tuesday. My son came on Thursdays the mom, you

369
00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:14.200
look like hell, and I said, well, I don't feel

370
00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:16.359
so good. I think I think I better take you

371
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:18.920
to the doctor. So I went to the doctor the

372
00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:23.880
emergency care there, and she said I had a sinus infection. Well,

373
00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:27.599
she gave me this medicine and instead of my temperature

374
00:22:27.599 --> 00:22:30.079
going down and went up. So on Monday I went

375
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:32.279
to my doctor that was down there, and he said,

376
00:22:32.279 --> 00:22:34.720
well you've got the flow. Well I'd already been tested

377
00:22:34.759 --> 00:22:37.279
and I did you know? And then I was going

378
00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:42.319
to meet my daughter and her family down in Myrtle Beach.

379
00:22:42.799 --> 00:22:44.839
And so by the time I got down there, I

380
00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:48.160
had step throat. So this was three things going on,

381
00:22:48.359 --> 00:22:52.079
plus selling my house, moving my getting things packed up.

382
00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:56.119
Talk about challenges. I mean really it was a very

383
00:22:56.440 --> 00:23:01.640
vulnerable time. And the man that had made me so

384
00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:05.279
happy that first day when he texted me that he

385
00:23:05.359 --> 00:23:09.039
had arrived in China, and now he's had somebody that

386
00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:12.079
on the ship had an accident and the police are

387
00:23:12.119 --> 00:23:15.519
holding him and he can't is they're taking his money.

388
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:17.599
They've taken it away. He was robbed because I'm gonna

389
00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:20.680
beat him up, took his money and the police had

390
00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:23.680
his passport in his papers and he couldn't leave until

391
00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:26.079
blah blah blah. So he needed all this money. He

392
00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:29.240
had gotten money from family and church members and whatever,

393
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:31.680
but he needed twenty thousand dollars.

394
00:23:31.880 --> 00:23:35.640
Well you didn't shell.

395
00:23:35.559 --> 00:23:40.759
Me, no, I I didn't have twenty thousand dollars. I didn't,

396
00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:43.759
you know. So but I was buying a house I

397
00:23:43.799 --> 00:23:46.559
had put an offer on a house in Michigan, and

398
00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:53.920
I had my deposits and this man, this man kept

399
00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:57.000
pleading with me, please send me some money, Please send

400
00:23:57.000 --> 00:24:00.079
me For the whole time I was in myrtle by

401
00:24:00.720 --> 00:24:04.640
Holy and I was sick, and I was I was

402
00:24:04.799 --> 00:24:11.720
important to quarantine because of the step throat phone, even

403
00:24:11.799 --> 00:24:14.200
though I was in the house of thirteen people there,

404
00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:19.680
but so here I am. And finally I decided, well,

405
00:24:19.680 --> 00:24:22.079
I'll send him some I can't let this man die

406
00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:27.039
if he's telling me that. So I sent him money.

407
00:24:27.160 --> 00:24:27.960
That was so much.

408
00:24:28.519 --> 00:24:32.920
Understand do I have to tell? Yes, you need to tell,

409
00:24:33.000 --> 00:24:34.319
because that's important to know.

410
00:24:35.559 --> 00:24:40.279
Ten thousand dollars, oh, Shelby. Before I did it, I

411
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.359
told him I'm buying a new house. This is my

412
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:45.279
deposit on my new house. I've got to have the

413
00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:47.880
money back and home. It was a it was a low.

414
00:24:48.359 --> 00:24:50.200
I've got to have the money back in three or

415
00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:53.519
four weeks, whatever it was. Oh, I promise, I promised,

416
00:24:53.559 --> 00:24:57.039
I'll be home and I've got this money. Well there's

417
00:24:57.079 --> 00:24:59.720
a whole nother story there besides that. But you know,

418
00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:04.359
didn't happen, and it isn't enough. When I was driving

419
00:25:04.440 --> 00:25:08.319
back from Myrtle Beach to Tennessee by myself. There was

420
00:25:08.359 --> 00:25:11.559
another story that happened in there too about my hostel

421
00:25:11.640 --> 00:25:15.039
at my house, but that could get very emotional.

422
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:20.960
But anyway, well, yeah, because the time I want to

423
00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:22.440
get to some of the other things.

424
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:24.359
But what I want to.

425
00:25:24.279 --> 00:25:25.119
Just ask you.

426
00:25:25.400 --> 00:25:30.680
I couldn't let the man die. Yeah, I he bugged

427
00:25:30.680 --> 00:25:32.799
me and bugged me and bugged me, and so I

428
00:25:32.839 --> 00:25:33.279
did say.

429
00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:37.599
What advice I mean, So, having gone through that and

430
00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:41.079
then realizing it was a mistake, what advice would you

431
00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:44.200
give somebody who's considering internet dating?

432
00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:49.240
You know what, I think Internet dating is great, I

433
00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:54.960
mean honestly, but it is being used by so many

434
00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:57.640
people that I have found out they can steal other

435
00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:01.680
take money from other people. So would I advise you

436
00:26:01.759 --> 00:26:06.000
to do this? If you number one, if you are

437
00:26:06.119 --> 00:26:09.279
sensitive about being rejected all that, then you don't need

438
00:26:09.480 --> 00:26:12.519
You have no business being on the internet day. If

439
00:26:12.519 --> 00:26:15.160
you had the self confidence and you think you could

440
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:20.880
stand it, that's fine. But if somebody asked you for money,

441
00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:25.799
I then and don't talk to them anymore, because there's

442
00:26:26.039 --> 00:26:32.279
there is It's a known fact that you get pulled

443
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:36.720
into the like this man was dying. He knew from

444
00:26:36.759 --> 00:26:40.920
what having talked to me, very dramatic, very dramatic, And

445
00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:44.519
it was just such a guilt laid on my shoulders

446
00:26:44.559 --> 00:26:48.319
that if this man should die and I could help

447
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:53.680
him and I get my money back, you know. So wow,

448
00:26:54.519 --> 00:26:58.440
getting I didn't mean to tell anybody about this thing,

449
00:26:59.240 --> 00:27:02.759
but when I there's another story with a bank and

450
00:27:02.839 --> 00:27:06.440
so one on the way home from there to Michigan.

451
00:27:07.079 --> 00:27:09.839
And by the time the bank told me that my

452
00:27:09.960 --> 00:27:12.839
daughter had already been called and knew that I was

453
00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:15.880
trying to take money out of my account, more money

454
00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:18.680
to send him, I was all worn down. I'd been

455
00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:22.279
driving for eight hours alone, and I find it the

456
00:27:22.359 --> 00:27:23.960
helf of this you know, I'm just going to go

457
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:25.720
give him the rest of it, the rest of the

458
00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:29.400
twenty thousand. I took the ten thousand out, and I

459
00:27:29.640 --> 00:27:31.559
went over to the bank that he wanted me to

460
00:27:31.599 --> 00:27:34.400
deposit in. They told me, your bank wants to talk

461
00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:37.559
to you. Go back, we're not accepting this deposit. You

462
00:27:37.559 --> 00:27:40.759
ever had that happen to you or the bank refused

463
00:27:40.759 --> 00:27:46.599
to take your money? Tash money, I mean, but anyway,

464
00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:49.880
so I thought from that exposure that I had with

465
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:52.680
my bank and they took my money back and so on,

466
00:27:53.240 --> 00:27:55.920
and then they put a hold on my account and

467
00:27:55.960 --> 00:27:58.920
I thought my daughter knew about it. I had to

468
00:27:58.960 --> 00:28:01.400
come clean, right my, the cat was out of the bag.

469
00:28:01.559 --> 00:28:04.559
I get home and she doesn't know about it. She

470
00:28:04.599 --> 00:28:08.799
didn't answer the phone. And I didn't know about that

471
00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:13.759
till I laid it all out for them. And oh my,

472
00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:16.720
I mean I was at the very bottom. So how

473
00:28:16.799 --> 00:28:19.720
do you come out of something like that? Well, my

474
00:28:19.799 --> 00:28:21.759
daughter says, we're going to the back to the bank.

475
00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:25.359
We're going to talk to them tomorrow. She had already

476
00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:29.160
called and canceled school, you know her, got a substitute.

477
00:28:29.640 --> 00:28:31.720
And then she says, we're going to state police. And

478
00:28:31.799 --> 00:28:35.000
so that's what we did. And I said, hadn't been

479
00:28:35.039 --> 00:28:40.559
for her and her support a gres help. I mean,

480
00:28:40.599 --> 00:28:44.599
she put me on what do you call it? What

481
00:28:44.839 --> 00:28:50.759
you watch list? Yeah, she wouldn't let me have the

482
00:28:50.920 --> 00:28:55.279
internat for two weeks. So good for her, good daughter.

483
00:28:56.119 --> 00:29:01.119
Oh that was hard. What do you call and got

484
00:29:01.400 --> 00:29:03.960
a senior moment? Right now? When you a senior moment

485
00:29:04.559 --> 00:29:06.640
on the couch for ten minutes, they got to be

486
00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:08.519
quiet and can't do what they want to do. Well,

487
00:29:09.319 --> 00:29:12.599
Grandma was put on the same thing with help inter debt.

488
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:15.480
But we went to the police, and this is one

489
00:29:15.519 --> 00:29:18.519
of the main things I wanted to say. Or is

490
00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:23.279
that at that time? This was in seventeen I know this, Yeah,

491
00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:29.000
seventeen seventeen. Yeah, the state police. He took my report,

492
00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:31.759
he went and talked to somebody, gave aguson missus Wagner,

493
00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:34.759
we are so sorry this happened to you, but you

494
00:29:34.839 --> 00:29:39.799
won't get your money back, and there's there nothing we

495
00:29:39.839 --> 00:29:45.680
can do about it. And I left there. I thanked him,

496
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:49.319
and I left there, but I felt like, oh my,

497
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:52.079
I'm sure a lot of your audience or a few

498
00:29:52.119 --> 00:29:55.200
of him would be feeling that there was just no

499
00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:57.759
hope for you, right, I.

500
00:29:57.720 --> 00:30:01.400
Mean, I you know, I've done one of my episodes

501
00:30:01.920 --> 00:30:06.640
before today was a cybersecurity episode that I did about

502
00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:11.160
scams and about being watchful. And what you said is

503
00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:15.359
so true. If somebody ever asked you for money, you

504
00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:19.839
run the other way. You it's not your obligation to

505
00:30:19.880 --> 00:30:24.200
give somebody money. And if somebody is asking, it's.

506
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:27.960
Probably if you're a Christian, you go to church. One

507
00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:30.119
guy said to me, well, you're no Christian. You said

508
00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:33.000
you're a hypocrite. Blah blah blah, you don't know. Oh

509
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:37.119
well yeah bye bye, hey sure yeah, nothing like making

510
00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:39.759
you feel So the bottom.

511
00:30:39.440 --> 00:30:42.000
Line on from what people can take away from that

512
00:30:42.440 --> 00:30:48.319
is be careful, enjoy that. But if anybody starts asking

513
00:30:48.359 --> 00:30:50.920
you questions like that, then you need to block them,

514
00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:53.039
can't You can block their account, right.

515
00:30:53.640 --> 00:30:56.720
You can block your phone and block them from your phone. Yes.

516
00:30:57.640 --> 00:31:00.599
The trouble is that something they can change numbers and

517
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:02.880
they can come back at you. Again, you have no

518
00:31:03.000 --> 00:31:08.480
idea who's on the other side of that screen. I mean, yeah,

519
00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:13.359
you know they're telling you their masters, master liars, my

520
00:31:13.720 --> 00:31:18.039
masters of deception. They will try to do everything to

521
00:31:18.119 --> 00:31:20.200
make you feel good in the beginning so they can

522
00:31:20.240 --> 00:31:23.440
get your trust. And then as many as you say no,

523
00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:27.359
just like I told that man, no, oh well you're

524
00:31:27.359 --> 00:31:30.359
no Christian, or you don't love me, or all the

525
00:31:30.440 --> 00:31:33.119
stuff that just makes you go the other way. And

526
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:37.000
you know, but I was sick. I was selling my

527
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:40.400
beloved house. You know what kind of you were.

528
00:31:40.640 --> 00:31:41.720
You were at a low point.

529
00:31:42.039 --> 00:31:45.359
He took it. And the point is with this police

530
00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:48.160
is that I've had lots of friends say, well, you

531
00:31:48.279 --> 00:31:51.880
gave them the money, So it's not against the law.

532
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:56.599
Well is it. What is the definition of the word

533
00:31:56.640 --> 00:32:01.440
scam or fraud? It's getting some body some kind of

534
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:06.039
a scheme together to take some money from somebody Unknowingly.

535
00:32:06.519 --> 00:32:09.640
They trust you, they're going to give you the money,

536
00:32:09.920 --> 00:32:12.240
and that's a scam. I don't care what it is.

537
00:32:12.359 --> 00:32:16.279
I met a guy over at McDonald's one day. He

538
00:32:16.359 --> 00:32:19.839
knew me from the singles dance that I started going to,

539
00:32:20.279 --> 00:32:23.559
and he told me Shelby. He says, I started dating

540
00:32:23.559 --> 00:32:28.160
this woman down at the band's club and went out

541
00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:30.799
with her a few times, and then she she needed

542
00:32:30.839 --> 00:32:35.799
two thousand dollars for a refrigerator, so I loaned it

543
00:32:35.839 --> 00:32:39.599
to her, and he says a week later I discovered

544
00:32:39.599 --> 00:32:43.799
from her son she'd spend it on drugs. Oh, not

545
00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:49.119
a refrigerator. So did he get scammed? Yeah, so it

546
00:32:49.119 --> 00:32:52.359
can happen when you go through all these.

547
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:53.400
Ups and downs.

548
00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:57.319
How did you come to What point was.

549
00:32:57.240 --> 00:32:59.640
It that you said, I think, go write a book

550
00:32:59.640 --> 00:33:00.160
about this.

551
00:33:01.359 --> 00:33:04.240
Oh golly, that took a whole year. It was a

552
00:33:04.319 --> 00:33:09.000
year later. I was in my office with my computer.

553
00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:12.880
I don't even remember what I was doing, but I

554
00:33:13.559 --> 00:33:17.640
just ran across a thing on a computer, a website

555
00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:21.000
that said one hundred and forty five million dollars had

556
00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:26.079
been lost in twenty seventeen. Two scams one hundred and

557
00:33:26.079 --> 00:33:29.640
forty five million, two thousand people had been just like

558
00:33:29.799 --> 00:33:35.799
me the same year. And I thought, well, and even

559
00:33:35.880 --> 00:33:39.519
though there was things media was telling people not to

560
00:33:39.599 --> 00:33:42.240
do these things, and just what you and I just said,

561
00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:44.319
don't if they ask for money, don't give it to them.

562
00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:47.240
You know, the FBI had all these things that were

563
00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:50.960
there were posters in the post office and every you

564
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:57.240
know about these scams. But these people are It's just amazing.

565
00:33:57.640 --> 00:34:03.160
I think that they packed go for our hopes. They

566
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:06.960
find out we need something or we want something, and

567
00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:10.639
then that you hope that they're telling you the truth.

568
00:34:11.760 --> 00:34:19.079
And it's kind of like it's fueled by I don't know, hypnotism, brainwashing, whatever,

569
00:34:19.239 --> 00:34:23.239
but you do hope. And how did I get through it?

570
00:34:23.320 --> 00:34:24.920
I don't think I would have if I had not

571
00:34:25.039 --> 00:34:29.920
had my daughter and sow And even though they were

572
00:34:29.960 --> 00:34:36.039
angry at me for losing all that money, they loved me.

573
00:34:37.079 --> 00:34:39.760
They were still there for you. And I was so

574
00:34:39.960 --> 00:34:42.920
and I was so puched. Later on when I met

575
00:34:42.960 --> 00:34:47.400
a woman who she hadn't been scammed, but she had

576
00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:51.719
not seen her children since her husband died like seven

577
00:34:51.840 --> 00:34:58.360
years ago. Oh that's sad, isn't it. I mean, she

578
00:34:58.480 --> 00:35:03.000
didn't get an engine, she didn't go into you know

579
00:35:03.039 --> 00:35:06.599
what happened that they weren't talking to each other. But

580
00:35:08.280 --> 00:35:13.639
I thought, boy, am I lucky to have my kids support,

581
00:35:13.800 --> 00:35:17.199
you know, helping me, supporting me, talking to me, and

582
00:35:17.320 --> 00:35:19.679
even though I don't always agree with them and they

583
00:35:19.679 --> 00:35:23.480
get mad at me, but I've learned I better listen.

584
00:35:24.599 --> 00:35:27.719
So the reason, so I guess if I was going

585
00:35:27.800 --> 00:35:31.079
to summarize this, the reason that you wrote this book

586
00:35:31.320 --> 00:35:35.119
was to try to help other people avoid those mistakes.

587
00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:40.679
That's right, and I really hope that that happened. You

588
00:35:40.719 --> 00:35:43.400
know that they will read it. It is on sale

589
00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:48.360
at Amazon dot com and will be on sale other places.

590
00:35:48.599 --> 00:35:51.800
If your book local bookstore doesn't have one, tell them

591
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:55.599
to get it for you. Then I wrote the second book, Scams,

592
00:35:55.679 --> 00:35:59.360
which has a one hundred and fifty different scams. You

593
00:35:59.360 --> 00:36:03.079
would surprised. I was surprised. I mean that's not even

594
00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:05.960
a tenth of the types of scams that are out there.

595
00:36:06.199 --> 00:36:10.440
Thousands and every single day there's another one, and it's

596
00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:15.480
where it's not just people like me who've given money

597
00:36:15.480 --> 00:36:18.679
that are being victimized by these people. I was reading

598
00:36:18.679 --> 00:36:22.920
today an article on a marine discovered that his picture

599
00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:27.039
and his profile was being used to steal other people's money.

600
00:36:27.239 --> 00:36:30.840
And then he gives phone calls, His wife gets phone calls.

601
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:33.280
All your husband is up to no good, you know,

602
00:36:33.639 --> 00:36:36.599
She's all, my husband didn't do anything, and come to

603
00:36:36.599 --> 00:36:41.079
find out somebody had stolen his picture of gotten information

604
00:36:41.159 --> 00:36:44.440
from a picture that he did as a marine person,

605
00:36:44.920 --> 00:36:49.079
you know, a military guy, and was able to steal

606
00:36:49.239 --> 00:36:52.679
his profile and steal a lot of money. And no,

607
00:36:52.760 --> 00:36:55.599
I did so much money his picture brought in. But

608
00:36:55.679 --> 00:37:01.880
that's true, and then today cyber crime is I would

609
00:37:01.960 --> 00:37:05.880
have listened to yours, but I did. Also on my

610
00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:08.519
podcast Learning to Dance in the Rain a few weeks

611
00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:12.320
ago about pig butchering. Did you did that come into

612
00:37:12.400 --> 00:37:15.760
your conversation at all when you were about about which

613
00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:17.440
thing pig butchering?

614
00:37:18.559 --> 00:37:25.519
Pig butchering, No, no, Shelby, I'm not sure about the well.

615
00:37:25.559 --> 00:37:30.159
Pig butchering is what the they've discovered that this one

616
00:37:30.880 --> 00:37:38.039
UH scam with involves bitcoins and sub cybercurrencies. Not it

617
00:37:38.119 --> 00:37:44.920
is promoted by a by organized crime syndicate which is global,

618
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:50.559
and it's located like in Malaysia, Southeastern Asia and China. Tigers.

619
00:37:50.760 --> 00:37:53.400
It's all tied in there, and those people call it

620
00:37:53.480 --> 00:37:57.280
pig butchering, because that's what you do. You groom that pig,

621
00:37:57.639 --> 00:38:01.599
You groom that victim to get to trust you. You

622
00:38:01.760 --> 00:38:05.800
feed them all this information, all this all this good stuff,

623
00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:08.519
and then they ask you for money and you say no,

624
00:38:08.920 --> 00:38:10.000
and then old boys.

625
00:38:10.079 --> 00:38:14.079
So remember you're not going to give people money.

626
00:38:14.480 --> 00:38:17.760
Right, You're going to be killed. And you know in

627
00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:21.719
twenty last year, not twenty four, but twenty three, ten

628
00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:27.320
point five billion dollars was lost to scams. Yeah, technically,

629
00:38:27.599 --> 00:38:30.039
and that's a lot from one hundred and forty five

630
00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:33.000
million that I talked motivated me back.

631
00:38:34.280 --> 00:38:37.400
So here you are Now you've moved forward with your

632
00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:41.000
life and what's next for you as an author?

633
00:38:43.079 --> 00:38:47.360
Well, I have three other books that are almost ready

634
00:38:47.400 --> 00:38:51.920
to go. One is on Internet dating for seniors, one

635
00:38:52.039 --> 00:38:57.679
is on grieving, another one I'm taking some ideas from

636
00:38:57.679 --> 00:39:05.239
my episodes. And what do you call extracting strict yeah.

637
00:39:05.239 --> 00:39:08.800
Or expounding You're going deeper into these subadities.

638
00:39:08.880 --> 00:39:11.239
Yeah, and I have another one that I was just

639
00:39:11.360 --> 00:39:13.920
We've been preparing this week, getting ready to talk with

640
00:39:13.960 --> 00:39:17.360
you on resilience, Yes, being.

641
00:39:17.159 --> 00:39:20.519
Able to Really the bottom line for this episode is

642
00:39:21.800 --> 00:39:25.920
you had to learn how to be resilient and rebuild

643
00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:26.440
your life.

644
00:39:27.320 --> 00:39:27.519
Right.

645
00:39:27.559 --> 00:39:30.679
I wanted to die when my husband had died. Why

646
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:33.639
didn't you take me to Why did you know? Why didn't?

647
00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:38.320
Why am I still here? And so I figure that

648
00:39:38.440 --> 00:39:41.800
this is I've got a calling, and that's why I'm

649
00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:45.159
here on the podcast. That's why I'm writing. Where am

650
00:39:45.199 --> 00:39:48.400
I going from there? I'm just I think if I

651
00:39:48.440 --> 00:39:51.320
didn't do this, what would I be doing? Yeah? My

652
00:39:51.480 --> 00:39:55.960
sister yourself active? Yeah, my sister, and I think my

653
00:39:56.039 --> 00:39:59.199
daughter both. I know my daughter. They worry about me,

654
00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:03.800
and especially when I was doing the internet dating that

655
00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:06.800
you know, something bad, even worse would happen a lot

656
00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:10.840
of women have lost their life because I don't know

657
00:40:10.880 --> 00:40:15.920
if you saw the movie Bee Keeper, but in that

658
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:19.920
that story is about a woman who was scammed like me.

659
00:40:20.239 --> 00:40:25.000
She was a bookkeeper and she had books for some

660
00:40:25.039 --> 00:40:29.599
company just twenty million dollars and all there was a

661
00:40:30.280 --> 00:40:34.840
technology thing that prompted up on her computer locked it up,

662
00:40:35.360 --> 00:40:38.159
and she clicked on it and immediately went to that

663
00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:45.079
and they immediately that twenty million dollars was gone? How

664
00:40:45.119 --> 00:40:50.039
would you how would you deal? How could somebody recover?

665
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:53.360
I mean I recovered, Yes, I recovered because I had

666
00:40:53.360 --> 00:40:56.079
the help of my daughter and my son in law

667
00:40:56.239 --> 00:41:01.719
and my son. But twenty million dollars, ooh, I don't

668
00:41:01.760 --> 00:41:04.960
have the least idea what that looks like, you know?

669
00:41:06.039 --> 00:41:11.440
And so anyway, I feel that I've come a long way.

670
00:41:11.679 --> 00:41:14.599
I have met somebody i've been We lived together for

671
00:41:14.639 --> 00:41:19.920
two years. Gave me a promise.

672
00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:20.960
Ring, no promise ring.

673
00:41:23.440 --> 00:41:25.800
Eighty three years old and she's got a promise ring.

674
00:41:26.119 --> 00:41:28.360
I guess it's a promised ring. It's on iron one

675
00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:32.679
made an iral Ireland a garlic. I told me the name. Anyway,

676
00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:37.239
it's got a heart for love and crown for loyalty

677
00:41:37.440 --> 00:41:41.840
and two hands united. So that was my Christmas present.

678
00:41:42.519 --> 00:41:45.800
But so we're working on our second year. But I

679
00:41:46.079 --> 00:41:50.079
was successful, and in that I don't know, you know,

680
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:53.360
just but yeah, eighty three years old? And what am

681
00:41:53.360 --> 00:41:56.360
I doing? What do I do next? I think I

682
00:41:56.400 --> 00:41:57.440
have a calling.

683
00:41:57.199 --> 00:42:00.280
And I think you do, because.

684
00:42:01.559 --> 00:42:04.119
I mean your family and your friends really had a

685
00:42:04.159 --> 00:42:08.480
lot to do with rebuilding your life. And now you're busy.

686
00:42:08.599 --> 00:42:10.719
I mean, I think the biggest thing for you is

687
00:42:11.199 --> 00:42:14.360
you're busy. You've got you've got books that you're writing,

688
00:42:14.440 --> 00:42:18.320
you're doing a podcast, and keep.

689
00:42:18.159 --> 00:42:20.920
Them busy is why it keeps you young, I think.

690
00:42:21.079 --> 00:42:23.639
I mean, people are still saying on the phone, you know,

691
00:42:23.679 --> 00:42:26.559
when I tell him I'm made it Q really oh

692
00:42:26.880 --> 00:42:30.840
an idea, Oh you sound like you're only seventy or sixty,

693
00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:35.440
ye know, or you know, even when they want to

694
00:42:35.440 --> 00:42:38.440
know how old I am in person and I've gotten whore,

695
00:42:38.440 --> 00:42:43.960
I said, well, what do you think? Oh, how complementary

696
00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:48.440
they're being. But they usually say sixty five, you know,

697
00:42:48.760 --> 00:42:51.960
And so I pras I think my mother for that.

698
00:42:52.039 --> 00:42:56.679
She had beautiful skin right to the last of her life.

699
00:42:56.719 --> 00:43:02.679
And but I some days there's a bone in my

700
00:43:02.719 --> 00:43:06.199
body that doesn't hurt, you know, but you keep going.

701
00:43:06.599 --> 00:43:11.000
And yesterday I have my podcast with my pastor on

702
00:43:11.159 --> 00:43:16.199
New New every day, New Beginnings. And my mother in law,

703
00:43:16.239 --> 00:43:19.079
you said, wake up every morning, and she would say

704
00:43:19.119 --> 00:43:22.800
the scripture verse today this is the day the Lord

705
00:43:22.840 --> 00:43:26.400
hath made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. Right,

706
00:43:27.039 --> 00:43:30.599
that's that's a lot of it. I think that's more

707
00:43:30.639 --> 00:43:34.480
than what seventy eighty percent of it is your attitude,

708
00:43:34.559 --> 00:43:40.039
keeping the right mindset and keep going, keep active. I dance,

709
00:43:40.159 --> 00:43:43.840
I play cards, I sing karaoke, even though I so

710
00:43:43.960 --> 00:43:47.719
I'm like a frog, but they seem to love it,

711
00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:53.840
and I do it my way as I have always done. Well.

712
00:43:53.880 --> 00:43:55.320
We need to wrap things up.

713
00:43:55.400 --> 00:43:59.880
So what would be your final thoughts on these experience

714
00:44:00.119 --> 00:44:03.800
is that you've had and what you've learned?

715
00:44:04.119 --> 00:44:06.960
Well, can I say I wish I hadn't it hadn't

716
00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:10.599
happened some of them. Now look at what you get

717
00:44:10.599 --> 00:44:13.960
to share with people now because it did. Yes, I

718
00:44:14.719 --> 00:44:20.360
have a definitely have several messages here to say. And

719
00:44:20.519 --> 00:44:23.440
I kind of felt that I was never listened to

720
00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:27.760
before and now I have a I am being listened to.

721
00:44:27.920 --> 00:44:31.800
And also the police are now getting involved because they

722
00:44:31.840 --> 00:44:36.280
have found out, Hey, this this criminal, this crime signal

723
00:44:36.960 --> 00:44:41.239
they're they're getting more than wealthy. Doesn't explain how much

724
00:44:41.360 --> 00:44:45.679
money that syndicate is getting. Not only are they they're

725
00:44:45.760 --> 00:44:50.360
kidnapping young people to come and make all these fake

726
00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:54.480
calls trying to get our money away from us. They're

727
00:44:54.519 --> 00:44:58.920
imprisoning though. There's a slave camp over in Southeast Asia,

728
00:44:59.039 --> 00:45:04.199
and we're going to have to do something that. There's

729
00:45:04.239 --> 00:45:08.920
a group called oh golly, you slip my mind, Operation

730
00:45:09.119 --> 00:45:14.119
Shamrock in which is pulling bankers and political leaders and

731
00:45:14.199 --> 00:45:18.840
law enforcement and informing all of these people, hey, this

732
00:45:19.159 --> 00:45:22.599
is a prime and it's getting worse. You cannot say

733
00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:27.679
you gave them the money and there's nothing we can do.

734
00:45:28.159 --> 00:45:31.519
You have to help us. And if you're out out

735
00:45:31.559 --> 00:45:35.440
there in the audience and you have fallen for victim

736
00:45:35.480 --> 00:45:38.280
to one of these things, you need to talk about it.

737
00:45:38.679 --> 00:45:40.679
I know I didn't want to talk about it either,

738
00:45:41.239 --> 00:45:44.519
but here I am. And really you're not going to

739
00:45:44.559 --> 00:45:46.119
get over it if you hold it in all the

740
00:45:46.159 --> 00:45:49.400
time you've got. You've got to share it. And thank

741
00:45:49.440 --> 00:45:51.559
you very much for the opportunity to share it on

742
00:45:51.599 --> 00:45:54.840
your show. I'm not sure what my good questions would be.

743
00:45:55.840 --> 00:45:58.360
I thought them all well, I.

744
00:45:58.320 --> 00:46:00.760
Mean, like you know, the name of my this podcast

745
00:46:00.840 --> 00:46:02.480
is ask good Questions.

746
00:46:03.519 --> 00:46:07.920
When, so that would just be something that when you're

747
00:46:07.960 --> 00:46:12.920
in the middle of a relationship with somebody on the internet,

748
00:46:13.079 --> 00:46:15.440
think about what are some of the questions you should

749
00:46:15.440 --> 00:46:19.679
be asking this person and that might be a good

750
00:46:19.719 --> 00:46:22.920
thing to do a follow up deal on scams and

751
00:46:23.000 --> 00:46:27.159
the questions we should ask. We'll have to work on that, Shelby.

752
00:46:27.840 --> 00:46:29.719
I'd be happy to do that. Yeah.

753
00:46:30.039 --> 00:46:33.360
Well, thank you so much for joining me today. I

754
00:46:33.400 --> 00:46:36.440
hope that everyone got a lot out of this and

755
00:46:36.480 --> 00:46:39.760
a lot of wisdom from the things that you've been

756
00:46:39.840 --> 00:46:44.800
through and the wisdom that you shared with us today.

757
00:46:45.840 --> 00:46:49.679
So go get them, watch for Shelby's books coming up,

758
00:46:50.679 --> 00:46:54.280
and always always make sure that you ask good questions.

759
00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:57.559
Thank you so much, thanks for joining us today.

760
00:46:58.119 --> 00:47:04.960
Bye now Aye, Right, today's episode is over, But we

761
00:47:05.119 --> 00:47:08.400
did ask good questions again, didn't We don't miss out

762
00:47:08.400 --> 00:47:12.599
as we broadcast live every Wednesday six pm Eastern Time

763
00:47:12.760 --> 00:47:17.320
on W FOURCY Radio at W fourcy dot com. Joined

764
00:47:17.360 --> 00:47:23.360
Benita Bellamderson next week for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement,

765
00:47:23.480 --> 00:47:28.000
behavioral finance issues, health and wellness and more. Until then,

766
00:47:28.440 --> 00:47:31.280
remember to ask good questions.