Sept. 17, 2025

From Windfall to WipeOut: Sudden Wealth & Sudden Loss-The True Cost of Inheriting Money

From Windfall to WipeOut: Sudden Wealth & Sudden Loss-The True Cost of Inheriting Money
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Season 1

What happens when a life-changing inheritance turns into a financial nightmare? We'll uncover the emotional and financial realities of sudden wealth-how taxes, poor investments and bad advice can quickly turn fortune into frustration or worse! Listeners will learn the hidden traps of inheritance & strategies to protect their legacy. Turn an unexpected windfall into long-term stability instead of short-term regret.

Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We

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make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No

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liability explicitor implies shall be extended to W FOURCY Radio

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or its employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments should

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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing

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W FOURCY Radio.

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Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,

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six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

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W four cy dot com. This week and every week,

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we will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,

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as well as a focus on health and wellment. Now,

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let's join your host, Anita bell Anderson, as together we

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start with Asking Good Questions.

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Welcome to the Ask Good Questions podcast. My name is

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Benita bell Anderson, and I'm so happy that you're here today.

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We have got a very very important topic today, and

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so I would like to welcome to the podcast stage

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Attorney Paul the Lowry. Did I say that right? I hope.

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Yes, he did, good job.

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Okay, yay, So welcome Paul. Paul is coming at you

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from Arizona, from Phoenix, Arizona, and I'm actually coming at

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you from Hawaii. I mean, most people by now know

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that I'm on the Senior Mission and so I'm in

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Hawaii for a year doing a mission for my church

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with my husband. But I am having a great time

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doing these podcasts from my home base in Hawaii. So, Paul,

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I'm going to tell everyone a little bit about you.

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What I have learned was that your father had accumulated

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about twenty eight million, seriously twenty eight million by investing

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his military retirement income wow in penny stocks. Penny stocks.

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So when Paul inherited this, everyone was lost to estate

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taxes and most of the rest he lost for a

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variety of reasons. So he's shaking his head. Yeah, Paul

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is an estate planning and probate attorney who regularly works

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with people struggling with the same thing. So, Wow, you're

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going to get the insight story today. So, receiving a

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financial windfall a lot of times means that people then

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continue to make poor choices with it. And basically what

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we know is that it typically takes about five years

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before people can emotionally adjust to a major life change

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like that. So and also, Paul has written a book

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about this called Lasting Wealth, Revolutionary Method for Family Wealth Transfer.

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We have a bonus downloads section on my website that

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is where you can find if you want to go

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find the information about Paul's book, then that's where you'll

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be able to find it. So welcome, Paul.

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Good to talk to you, Benita, Thanks for having me.

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Yeah, so, well, why don't you first tell me what

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inspired you to focus this your legal practice on inheritance

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and wealth transfer. I mean, it's kind of like, oh,

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I think I want to You know, this is an

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area that a lot of people get messed up, don't they.

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Yeah, I'm not sure exactly why I think I have it.

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I think I have a deeper answer to that. I'll

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tell you kind of superficially. The answer is that I'm

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not sure if enjoy is the right word, but I

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can't imagine doing anything else. So I like the intellectual

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challenge of it, and I like connecting with people when

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they're going through one of the most challenging times of

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their lives. So it kind of gives me, I'm able,

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It gives me a chance to use my skill of

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thinking outside the box and coming up with creative solutions

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and connecting with people and trying to help them through

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the process.

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Well, yeah, I'm hearing a lot of purpose in that,

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which is what we all need. We all need some

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purpose and everything. Yeah, and at that point, people need

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a good attorney. Having gone through a terrible divorce a

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long time ago, now you need a good attorney when

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you're facing stuff that you have no experience with.

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Right, So.

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What in your so in your experience with this challenging area,

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why can a sudden inheritance of be more overwhelming than

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exciting for people?

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Well, it's a It forces a paradigm shift. It's a

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form of trauma. So getting married is a form of trauma,

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it is, I mean, it's a paradigm shift. Or graduating honestly,

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think about well, think about professional athletes who who get

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a big contract and then within a couple of yeers

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there in bankruptcy, Like, well, how did that happen?

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I wrote a book about that.

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Okay, there you go, okay? Or or people who win

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the Olympics, uh, and then within a year they're obese

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and alcoholic and depressed and suicidal, Like what's going on there?

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Like shouldn't they be happy? But but it's a it's

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uh boy, there there's no quick way to summarise this.

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But I let me let me approach it from one angle,

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because in order to really understand, in order to really

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answer your question, I need to look at it from

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different angles. It's kind of like, what's the story about

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the blind people going up to an elephant and you know,

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one touches the tail and one touches the leg and

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different other things they describe totally different things. Well, so

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it's a little bit like that. But what I what

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I could say is so getting a getting a sudden

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inheritance removes the need to work. And I think a

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lot of people, well, let me let me back up,

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Like Jordan Peterson says, we're meant to walk up hill,

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like we're meant to struggle a little bit. And it's

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like riding a bicycle. You can't just you can't just

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ride a bicycle standing still, like you can't just sit

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on it. You have to be moving forward. You have

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to be pushing. And and what a sudden major inheritance

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does is it removes all the necessity for going to work,

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for struggling to pay the bills and all this kind

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of stuff, and all of a sudden, it's like like

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a person's life grinds to a halt, and then you're

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left with, well, what are you left with? You're left

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with what people say, Oh, you should do this, and

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you should do that, and and trying to find answers

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outside yourself, which are never fulfilling. By definition, you can

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never find the answer for your purpose or fulfillment outside

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of yourself. Ever, it has to come inside, come from inside,

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and if you've never figured that out, like people can

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go their entire lives. People do go their entire lives

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without even thinking about this question, just because they just

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work and work and work, and then on the weekends

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they do something and get drunk or whatever, and then

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they die. But all of a sudden, like if you

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can take a break, I mean, that's a shock.

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So well, we see it clearly with people that win

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the lottery. You know it's not inheritance money, but it's

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still the same thing, sure, the lottery. And there's so

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many examples of people who completely wreck their lives in

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the next two three years, and then they're saying things like, oh,

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I wish you would never would have happened. So yeah, well,

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what do you think are the most common emotional reactions

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have you seen? What have you seen with working with people?

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Well, I mean, if we're talking about a major inheritance

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in terms of emotion, you know that's it. And I

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think I actually gave that question to you, which means

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I should have an answer for it, but I don't really.

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So the most common for a for a major inheritance

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is it could be fear, like fear of losing it

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or because at that point it people like people are

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coming around, uh, asking for money and begging for money

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and this and that, and so all of a sudden,

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you don't know who you trust and and so like

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a certain amount of just anxiety. It just creates anxiety

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and then wanting meaning, like a search for meaning. I

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guess I don't know what that feeling is. But I'll

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tell you for myself what it was for me. And

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I'll just tell you super super fast my story. So

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I only met my father for the first time six

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weeks before he died. He had been kept a secret,

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his his his well his existence was kept a secret

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from me during my whole childhood. Now other relatives knew

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about it. My cousins knew about it, like friends at

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friends at high school even knew about it, and which

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put me in this weird position because I, like I

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had this sense, I mean, you know, kids are fairly

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sensitive and fairly intuitive, and like I had this sense

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that like I was missing something, but I couldn't put

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my finger on it. But anyway, and then later on

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when I finally found him and then he died, like

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you know, I was I was angry about the fact

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that I had never had I was never given the

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opportunity to have a relationship with him, and he had

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been kept from me. I was sad. I was ecstatic

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about having a whole bunch of money, and I had,

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you know, these ideas. I mean, I would It sounds ridiculous,

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but I would walk through a neighborhood and think and think, well,

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I could just buy twenty of these houses, you know,

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if I wanted to. And and so like, like I

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had all these emotions that were just like you throw

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them all into a blender, and that's that's how I felt.

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And I was functional only because like I was again

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extremely sad, extremely happy, extremely anxious, and afraid and angry,

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and they all just kind of balance each other out.

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So I could walk through life kind of like a

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normal person just because I had these intense emotions that

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were all balancing each other out. That's the best I

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can explain it.

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I just figured out something that's been in the back

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of my mind about something about you, and that.

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Was, oh, he's gonna.

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Stayed planning attorney, how can Latin's father lose half of

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that money to taxes? And so now will that explains it?

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You weren't in the mix right well. And so there's

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another part of this too, which is I had I've

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learned to live with a lot of shame in my life,

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and it's it's taken me a while to let go

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of that. But there was this, there was this kind

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of undercurrent of shame and I could never put my

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finger on it like it and okay, there are some

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things that happened to me that a person could be,

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you know, ashamed for, but that doesn't even explain it.

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Like there's just just this like general sense of not

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fitting in for me. And it's because well, because I

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was told one story, I was this Irish Irish German guy,

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and so I learned the bagpipes, and I played where

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I competed in Irish music, and I competed in Irish

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dance and all of this stuff. And then at the

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age of thirty five, I learned that, oh, I'm actually

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one hundred percent German, and so then you know, then

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I'm thinking, but I have an Irish name, and I've

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named my kids with Irish first names, and then I'm

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all confused and all of this stuff. So yeah, anyway,

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there is a little bit to that. But but in terms,

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you're right, I was. I'm a trained attorney, and intellectually

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I can think through all of these things. But what

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I have figured out has taken me years. But what

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I figured out out is there's there's different layers to this.

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There's different layers of reality, I guess, And can I

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kind of go off on a little tangent here because

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I think it'll okay. So I like to explain that,

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like imagined society, Okay, how do you have a fully

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functioning society, not necessarily like we have right now, but

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a fully functioning society has aspirations. Okay, they aspire to

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be whatever they aspire to be like Jesus or like

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Superman or something like, like, we have heroes that we

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aspire to be like. And then there are also underneath that,

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excuse me, let me get a drink of water here, okay.

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Underneath the aspirations you have common mora m O r e.

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S like common you know, understood values, don't still be honest,

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respect your parents, you know, kind of the Ten Commandments

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style stuff, okay, and we also don't really have that

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too much anymore. And then underneath that is the law, okay,

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and the law is supposed to be like the foundation,

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like you know, if all of that other stuff just

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goes to hell, at least you have the law and

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now and now there are segments of society trying to

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punch holes in that and get rid of that, so

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we just have complete anarchy. So but but that's that's

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really the way that like, and I'm being very general here,

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but that that's kind of the framework for a good

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functioning society. Similarly, if you're trying to organize a family

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and maybe have some money, and you want to figure

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out how to pass the money on to the next generation, well,

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the way that works the best is to have some

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aspirational things like that would be that's usually created by

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family stories like Grandpa came what I can tell the

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story about my grandparents and how they came over and

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they struggled and then my mom, my mom didn't This

238
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is my own thing. But my mom didn't speak English

239
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when she went to grade school. She had to learn

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English there because they spoke German at home, and this

241
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and that and all the different trials and tribulations that

242
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they went through and despite that, and then she ran

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away from home when she was sixteen, but then she

244
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was finally able to get to a point where she

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started the graduate nursing program at UCLA. So you know,

246
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going kind of from rags to riches kind of a thing.

247
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You know, that's the kind of thing that this is

248
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inspiring to a family. And every family has something like that.

249
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I mean every family has something like that where you

250
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can like, you know, there's some hero or something it

251
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can kind of be like. And if you don't have

252
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it in your own family, then you can look elsewhere

253
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and you know, go to you know, think about your

254
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church or religion or whatever. And then also within the

255
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families having common values Like for me, we just always

256
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had an an understood value that we just stick together

257
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and no matter what. And I have, thank goodness, I

258
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have successfully passed it on to my kids. I believe, uh.

259
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And we we sometimes talk about it, but I don't

260
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need to like harp on them or anything, because it's

261
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just something we know. Like they go off and do

262
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their own thing. But you know, if someone breaks up

263
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my daughter breaks up with a boyfriend or has to

264
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move out or something like that, we she she always

265
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knows she can call me. And that's so that's you know,

266
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there's that, And then I have a state planning documents.

267
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But what I have noticed, or let's see how I

268
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can explain this. So I do a lot of probate litigation,

269
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and I have I have noticed that there's almost no

270
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relationship between whether the family ends up in court and

271
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if they have a will or a trust or a

272
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financial plan or that kind of a thing. Almost no relationship,

273
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almost no relationship. And I know, I know everyone says, oh,

274
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you need a trust, is an avoid probate. Not Now,

275
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what avoids probate is having common values and good communication

276
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and trust in the family. That's what avoids probate.

277
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Now.

278
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Now, now, the bottom line, like you know, I was

279
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talking with society. You have the laws kind of the

280
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bottom line, which and it's supposed to work. It doesn't

281
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always work, but it's supposed to work. That's with legal documents.

282
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Now legal like a well done trust can avoid probate.

283
00:18:57.880 --> 00:19:01.480
But here's the thing, Like, and I've seen this. Okay,

284
00:19:01.720 --> 00:19:08.279
you have a perfectly well done trust done by an attorney.

285
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Everything is, everything is clear, unambiguous to all that kind

286
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of stuff. But then if the kids let's say, let's

287
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say one of the kids, or let's say the parents

288
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:25.759
were alcoholics and and uh mentally or physically abuse the kids,

289
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or maybe there's some maybe there's some incest in the family,

290
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or there's some drug abuse or something like that. Yeah,

291
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:35.720
that's more likely to end up in court. And you

292
00:19:35.720 --> 00:19:38.160
can have perfectly good documents, but they're going to still

293
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fight over fight over this or that or whatever.

294
00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:45.160
Yeah, because there's yeah, you don't have the family dynamics

295
00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:50.480
too pass on good values then yeah, I can see that, right,

296
00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:54.240
because people are going to be one to get back

297
00:19:54.839 --> 00:20:02.000
the rail it somehow. Well, So, what do you think

298
00:20:02.039 --> 00:20:05.079
are the biggest financial mistakes people make? Maybe you know,

299
00:20:05.480 --> 00:20:11.200
sometimes it could be because there's dysfunctional, emotional stuff going

300
00:20:11.240 --> 00:20:13.759
on in the family. But what do you think are

301
00:20:13.799 --> 00:20:17.119
some of the biggest financial financial mistakes people will make,

302
00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:20.759
like in that first year, because most of the time,

303
00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:25.519
what I'm telling people is stip, sit back and wait,

304
00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:26.640
don't do anything.

305
00:20:27.799 --> 00:20:31.400
Yeah, the biggest financial mistakes are spending the money.

306
00:20:32.799 --> 00:20:36.880
Yeah. And then it's like, yeah, it's gone.

307
00:20:36.839 --> 00:20:39.400
Well, And here here's the funny thing about it. Here's

308
00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:43.839
the thing about human nature. So you take someone who

309
00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:49.119
goes from two hundred bucks in their checking account to

310
00:20:49.559 --> 00:20:52.880
a million dollars, or it could be any amount, but yeah,

311
00:20:53.160 --> 00:20:56.519
here here, let's use something super common. Okay, they go

312
00:20:56.599 --> 00:20:59.240
from two hundred bucks in the checking account to fifty

313
00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:04.319
thousand bucks in checking account. Okay, super super common, you

314
00:21:04.359 --> 00:21:10.960
know from an inheritance. Well, the way the human thinks is, Okay,

315
00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:13.440
I have fifty thousand dollars, so I can pay off

316
00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:16.519
my credit card debt, and I can go on a

317
00:21:16.559 --> 00:21:20.279
fifty thousand dollars vacation, and I can give that fifty

318
00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:23.119
thousand dollars to my kids, and I can use that

319
00:21:23.200 --> 00:21:27.359
fifty thousand dollars to buy a house. And they start

320
00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:32.640
and like like in their brain, they yeah, well, that's

321
00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:34.799
the thing, Like they start, they start thinking, oh I

322
00:21:34.839 --> 00:21:37.319
can do this and this and this, and pretty soon yeah,

323
00:21:37.359 --> 00:21:40.440
after like two months, like oh wait, why am I

324
00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:42.440
one hundred and fifty or two hundred thousand dollars in

325
00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:42.799
the hole?

326
00:21:43.240 --> 00:21:43.440
Yeah?

327
00:21:43.480 --> 00:21:48.720
Because there was only one fifty thousand dollars right, Well.

328
00:21:49.160 --> 00:21:52.039
So tell me. I mean, like when I first saw

329
00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:57.640
that your dad had invested his retirement income in penny stocks,

330
00:21:57.640 --> 00:22:00.759
I'm like, oh, my gosh, that's so because you know,

331
00:22:00.839 --> 00:22:04.160
I've done a lot of investor coaching, and oh my gosh,

332
00:22:04.200 --> 00:22:06.799
that would not be what I would ever tell anybody

333
00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:11.920
to do. How how do you see poor investing choices?

334
00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:17.079
Maybe out of pressure from somebody else saying hey, this

335
00:22:17.240 --> 00:22:20.640
is a great stock tip, but how do you how

336
00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:23.319
do you see that turning a fortune into a nightmare?

337
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:28.319
Well, I mean it depends on how good you are.

338
00:22:28.359 --> 00:22:33.680
I mean, my my father was, uh he he was

339
00:22:33.720 --> 00:22:39.559
a Vietnam veteran and kind of a loner. Uh, and

340
00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:42.599
he he just spent all day like researching this, like

341
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:45.960
literally that's all he did for for years and years,

342
00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:51.000
decades and decades. And so I'm not sure exactly how

343
00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:53.920
to answer your question, like I think for most people,

344
00:22:54.160 --> 00:22:57.920
for most people, it's good. Here's how here's how I

345
00:22:57.960 --> 00:23:05.039
look at it. So I'm probably gonna ruffle some feathers here,

346
00:23:05.039 --> 00:23:10.799
but here we go. So I've kind of found and

347
00:23:10.839 --> 00:23:13.200
I think, I'm sure there's studies about this or something,

348
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:16.960
but I've kind of found that maybe five percent of

349
00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:20.720
people like really know what they're doing, like genuinely know

350
00:23:20.799 --> 00:23:21.400
what they're doing.

351
00:23:22.119 --> 00:23:26.240
And then there's that's investing with investing, we're talking about.

352
00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:30.720
With anything with anything with anything, Yeah, like like they're

353
00:23:30.920 --> 00:23:34.359
like they genuinely know what they're doing. And then there's

354
00:23:34.359 --> 00:23:37.519
twenty percent of people ish or whatever. I'm kind of

355
00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:40.960
making this up, but twenty percent of people that follow

356
00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:44.160
what the five percent do. And then there's seventy five

357
00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:46.200
percent of people who just don't have a clue and

358
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:48.559
they're always just you know, trying to figure out, oh,

359
00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:52.400
looking for tips and YouTube and Google and all this

360
00:23:52.519 --> 00:23:57.000
kind of stuff. And so just my advice like try

361
00:23:57.079 --> 00:24:00.480
to find if it's a company or like or an

362
00:24:00.519 --> 00:24:04.160
advisor associated with a company or whatever that really knows

363
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:07.240
what they're doing, like just go to that or like

364
00:24:07.319 --> 00:24:10.119
if you if you actually, if one hundred percent know

365
00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:14.559
that you you're going to be one of those five

366
00:24:14.599 --> 00:24:17.400
percent people who really know what they're doing. And you

367
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:22.160
want to learn how to invest yourself. Well, and I'm

368
00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:26.599
speaking from personal experience here, you can't do that instantaneously,

369
00:24:26.920 --> 00:24:30.119
I thought I could. You can't learn how to be

370
00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:37.880
a wonderful investor immediately, and so so like it. It's like,

371
00:24:38.480 --> 00:24:40.440
certainly for some period of time you need to rely

372
00:24:40.519 --> 00:24:43.160
on someone else. And that that's if I could tell

373
00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:47.799
myself one thing, Boy, if I could tell myself one thing,

374
00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:53.400
like I would have a really really strong conversation and say,

375
00:24:53.759 --> 00:24:56.920
just just put the money in the stock market. Like

376
00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:59.599
if I had just done that, it would have been

377
00:25:00.039 --> 00:25:03.240
fe But like what I did for me, I saw,

378
00:25:03.480 --> 00:25:06.480
like I saw these big money swings, Like you know,

379
00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:10.079
I went from not much money, not much of a

380
00:25:10.119 --> 00:25:14.279
net worth, to twenty eight million dollars to fourteen million

381
00:25:14.359 --> 00:25:16.640
because I had to write checks to the State of

382
00:25:16.759 --> 00:25:23.480
Washington and to the US Treasury and so like these

383
00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:28.720
big white swings and then and what oh, then, like

384
00:25:28.759 --> 00:25:33.119
my father died in he died in two thousand and

385
00:25:33.240 --> 00:25:35.519
nine when there was no state tax and if he

386
00:25:35.519 --> 00:25:38.039
had only lived for like two more months, it would

387
00:25:38.079 --> 00:25:40.599
have been no state tax, and like just these these

388
00:25:40.680 --> 00:25:43.680
dramatic things, and it kind of shaped the way I

389
00:25:43.720 --> 00:25:45.880
was thinking. So then it's like, oh, well, great, you

390
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:49.240
know fourteen million and all these big big numbers and stuff.

391
00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:51.640
Oh and well I need to I need to like

392
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:55.079
double you know, make my money back right away. So

393
00:25:55.160 --> 00:25:59.400
I was going for like adventurous private equity investments and

394
00:25:59.400 --> 00:26:01.200
all this kind of stuff which didn't work out.

395
00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:06.599
Well, yeah, I mean, this is one of the things

396
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:12.160
I've done financial education for years, and most people really don't.

397
00:26:12.640 --> 00:26:15.519
There's there's a lot of there's a lot of pull

398
00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:20.119
to do the wrong thing, and people don't often find

399
00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:22.799
out that there's more prudent ways to do things. But

400
00:26:23.960 --> 00:26:26.079
let's keep on. I mean we're kind of well, we're

401
00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:29.119
kind of talking a little bit. Is understanding the traps

402
00:26:29.880 --> 00:26:35.119
and can you explain why even like a well meaning

403
00:26:35.279 --> 00:26:40.000
friend or a well meaning family member can sometimes become

404
00:26:40.039 --> 00:26:43.480
a risk for that person with the new wealth because

405
00:26:44.839 --> 00:26:47.680
I think, you know, like you were talking about human nature,

406
00:26:47.880 --> 00:26:51.519
it's not always on the up and up right.

407
00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:00.440
Well, I mean from my own experience, my this was

408
00:27:02.519 --> 00:27:06.039
this is more in my experience. Let's see, I don't know,

409
00:27:06.119 --> 00:27:08.039
so I talked from my experience and more general. I'll

410
00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:15.079
try to be more general. I guess. So friends and family,

411
00:27:15.599 --> 00:27:18.920
what often happens is they come up with somewhat self

412
00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:23.359
serving ideas. Now, my my family did not do that.

413
00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:27.319
My family was wonderful. I was actually the jerk. I

414
00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:35.519
will freely admit that. But but in a lot of cases,

415
00:27:35.599 --> 00:27:38.640
it's friends and family and whatnot that you know, have ideas, Oh,

416
00:27:38.759 --> 00:27:40.400
you know, can you help me with this and just

417
00:27:40.519 --> 00:27:44.119
loan me money for this amazing business idea and whatnot,

418
00:27:44.200 --> 00:27:49.559
and and so yeah, it takes it. Uh, it puts

419
00:27:49.599 --> 00:27:51.680
someone in a really awkward position.

420
00:27:53.240 --> 00:27:56.519
What. Well, let's let's take it a step further. What

421
00:27:56.640 --> 00:28:04.039
about scammers? What about predatory advisors? There are certainly stories

422
00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:07.039
out there about that as well. Where do you think

423
00:28:07.119 --> 00:28:09.440
that plays in? Is that? I mean, I think people

424
00:28:09.480 --> 00:28:11.440
are pretty vulnerable or can be.

425
00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:18.359
Yeah, So the law is really funny that way. If

426
00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:22.119
your net worth is under if your investible assets are

427
00:28:22.200 --> 00:28:25.119
under a million dollars, then you're protected because you can

428
00:28:25.160 --> 00:28:27.920
only go into mutual funds and certain investments and whatnot.

429
00:28:28.319 --> 00:28:33.839
But if if you go over that, then the federal

430
00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:37.839
law has it doesn't ask how much experience you have.

431
00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:43.359
It's only about what your your investable net worth is.

432
00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:46.039
Is it a million? Is it five million? And if

433
00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:48.480
it's over a million, you just signed this piece of

434
00:28:48.519 --> 00:28:51.880
paper that no one reads, basically saying that that you're

435
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:57.640
a sophisticated investor. So just by getting the inheritance under

436
00:28:57.720 --> 00:29:03.480
federal law, you're you're instantaneously sophisticated, meaning that you you

437
00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:07.440
know everything there is. And because you instantaneously you know,

438
00:29:07.559 --> 00:29:14.200
have this like online degree essentially, uh, you can you

439
00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:17.200
can choose all the good investments. And so yeah, at

440
00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:20.720
that point, the scam artists and whatnot come out and

441
00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:23.680
try to try to convince the ball all kinds of things.

442
00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:26.319
And I mean, oh my gosh, the stories I could

443
00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:29.480
tell I got taken. I got to I'll tell you

444
00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:33.039
a couple. I mean, did you get taken as well?

445
00:29:33.799 --> 00:29:36.319
That's where all the money went. That's where all the

446
00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:41.759
money went. Yeah. I invested in oil wells in Texas

447
00:29:41.799 --> 00:29:46.799
around the time that they were discovering oil in in

448
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:50.160
uh North Dakota and Canada, and so the price of

449
00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:53.720
oil came down, like you know, I so that didn't

450
00:29:53.759 --> 00:29:56.799
turn out to be a great idea. And then the

451
00:29:57.119 --> 00:30:00.799
company I was investing in was they were paying way

452
00:30:00.799 --> 00:30:05.000
too much money for their you know, for the president

453
00:30:05.119 --> 00:30:07.440
and the you know, the management. Way too much money

454
00:30:07.519 --> 00:30:12.160
was going for there for the management team's lifestyle as

455
00:30:12.200 --> 00:30:16.519
opposed to like keeping the company you know, streamlined and

456
00:30:16.960 --> 00:30:21.799
doing a good job. And I invested, and I I

457
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:25.880
will use the word investment in the loosest possible way.

458
00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:34.759
I invested money, uh in a in an art company

459
00:30:35.359 --> 00:30:42.799
up in Portland, Oregon, and and uh the business model

460
00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:45.880
actually seemed to be good, Like I mean, I did

461
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:51.119
look at it, and anyway, I won't go into it,

462
00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:53.240
it's not worth it. But it actually had a business

463
00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:57.640
model where they they would make a sculpture and they

464
00:30:57.680 --> 00:31:02.160
would provide it for free to schools, having a like

465
00:31:02.200 --> 00:31:05.880
a charity auction, and then they would like they had

466
00:31:05.880 --> 00:31:08.839
a minimum minimum bid and the school, you know whatever

467
00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:11.759
whatever over that it was as long as it got

468
00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:15.240
sold for over that, then the company got fifty percent

469
00:31:15.279 --> 00:31:18.119
in the school got fifty percent, so everything was win win.

470
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:21.119
I mean, it seemed like a going thing. The reality

471
00:31:21.279 --> 00:31:26.920
is that I invested millions of dollars with that company,

472
00:31:27.279 --> 00:31:31.119
and it come to find out, it went towards buying

473
00:31:31.160 --> 00:31:35.119
the president of the the owner of the company's a

474
00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:38.680
new house complete with the helicopter pad. And I think

475
00:31:38.720 --> 00:31:41.079
I think I even helped with the down payment on

476
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:41.759
the helicopter.

477
00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:49.559
So yeah, yeah, I'm I'm with you. Yeah, there's a lot. Okay, Yeah,

478
00:31:49.720 --> 00:31:52.559
I mean I have I have a story about investing

479
00:31:52.559 --> 00:31:56.920
in an oil company and I completely one hundred percent

480
00:31:57.000 --> 00:32:00.400
of that was gone, you know. But yeah, part of

481
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:04.200
my mistakes that I've made along the way that drove

482
00:32:04.319 --> 00:32:06.359
me to where I am today with talking about the

483
00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:09.240
whole thing with diversification. But we're not here to talk

484
00:32:09.240 --> 00:32:14.119
about Let's talk about a little bit about the legal

485
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:20.119
and structural issues like so, okay, so people have this

486
00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:24.000
fantastic thing, you know, can you decide whether or not

487
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:26.319
it's fantastic, But do you have this thing that happens.

488
00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:31.960
Is there legal protections or structures that errors can put

489
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:36.160
in place to prevent a rapid loss of wealth? Is

490
00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:38.680
you know, what what do you tell people to do?

491
00:32:39.839 --> 00:32:40.480
First off?

492
00:32:41.359 --> 00:32:44.599
Okay, are we talking about the airs putting something in place?

493
00:32:45.079 --> 00:32:47.480
Yeah, the error is putting Yeah, the air is putting

494
00:32:47.480 --> 00:32:54.440
something in place, maybe just not being able to touch it.

495
00:32:54.960 --> 00:33:00.119
Well for a while. What I would do if I

496
00:33:00.119 --> 00:33:03.079
could go back and suggest this for myself, here's what

497
00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:06.559
I would do. I would suggest putting it into an

498
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:12.759
irrevocable trust for probably five years, and and maybe maybe

499
00:33:13.640 --> 00:33:15.799
have some amount of money that I could try that

500
00:33:15.880 --> 00:33:18.759
I could invest you know, quote unquote myself and the

501
00:33:18.799 --> 00:33:21.680
rest of it is locked up, uh or I mean

502
00:33:21.720 --> 00:33:24.079
five years? Who would be ideal? Because after five years,

503
00:33:24.119 --> 00:33:29.839
like hopefully you've kind of you have a Yeah, so

504
00:33:30.039 --> 00:33:33.599
that now I've suggested this to people. No one has

505
00:33:33.640 --> 00:33:36.839
ever taken my advice. But that that's I mean, well,

506
00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:39.319
here's the here's a problem, Like how do you do that?

507
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:43.319
It's like it's like I don't know, Like your your

508
00:33:43.799 --> 00:33:47.480
your daughter falls in love with with a loser boy

509
00:33:47.599 --> 00:33:49.359
and you try to tell him, you know, try to

510
00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:52.480
tell your daughter, no, he's a loser, Like he doesn't

511
00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:55.039
have a job. You know, I think he's on drugs.

512
00:33:55.359 --> 00:33:57.640
I don't know what's going on. But your daughter's in

513
00:33:57.680 --> 00:34:01.880
love with this guy. Like, you know, how do you

514
00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:04.519
how do you make that advice stick? It's the same

515
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:09.400
thing for someone who has an inheritance, and and uh, yeah,

516
00:34:09.519 --> 00:34:11.599
it's hard. It's hard. I don't know what to do,

517
00:34:11.920 --> 00:34:14.559
the best thing is to is for the parents to

518
00:34:14.599 --> 00:34:15.679
put something in place.

519
00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:21.239
Yeah. So so I'm hoping that this is going to

520
00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:24.920
lead to some people taking some actions to protect well,

521
00:34:25.159 --> 00:34:27.960
it's like not even the person that that that is,

522
00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:33.400
you know, creating this legacy for family, but you know,

523
00:34:33.639 --> 00:34:36.559
it's like protecting people from themselves, which is what kind

524
00:34:36.599 --> 00:34:39.159
of where I'm what I'm thinking about. What do you

525
00:34:39.280 --> 00:34:46.440
think is the difference between inheriting cash versus inheriting real

526
00:34:46.599 --> 00:34:50.199
estate or business, you know, things that are not quite

527
00:34:50.400 --> 00:34:51.320
the liquid.

528
00:34:52.320 --> 00:34:56.400
Well, real estate can be liquid within a month or two,

529
00:34:56.480 --> 00:35:01.199
so I don't know that that's true, of course, And

530
00:35:01.480 --> 00:35:05.480
same thing with the business. I mean, businesses are tricky

531
00:35:05.760 --> 00:35:08.320
for for sure. If there's anyone listening to this and

532
00:35:08.400 --> 00:35:11.960
there's a business involved, that's that's where you absolutely should

533
00:35:12.039 --> 00:35:14.119
put some put some things in place. I mean I've

534
00:35:14.119 --> 00:35:18.840
seen businesses just well, here's the here's the reality. Like

535
00:35:18.920 --> 00:35:21.920
if if the family is fighting over control and people

536
00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:24.880
are going in and you know, like one person goes

537
00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:27.119
in and fires all the employees and then the other

538
00:35:27.159 --> 00:35:29.559
person goes in and hires the employees back, Like I mean,

539
00:35:29.599 --> 00:35:32.880
that's that's too much going on, or or or they're

540
00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:34.960
trying to like take all the accounts and start a

541
00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:37.880
new businesses. Like, I mean, I've seen I've seen this,

542
00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:43.280
and it can be just complete chaos. So how do

543
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:46.400
you do it? Well, honestly, for a lot of this stuff.

544
00:35:48.800 --> 00:35:51.440
For some of this stuff, if if it's one person

545
00:35:51.519 --> 00:35:55.960
who inherited the assets, then you know, just I guess,

546
00:35:56.280 --> 00:35:58.079
good luck to them and God bless them and and

547
00:35:58.119 --> 00:36:01.000
hopefully they make good decisions. If it's multiple people, like

548
00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:04.280
if it's multiple children and they're fighting over what to

549
00:36:04.320 --> 00:36:07.760
do and all this kind of stuff, really the best

550
00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:09.960
thing to do is to go to court. Like everyone

551
00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.360
talks about probate being horrible or whatever, and I agree,

552
00:36:14.360 --> 00:36:17.280
it can be. An emergency room can be horrible too,

553
00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:18.840
But you know what, if you get in a car

554
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:23.599
accident and you know, you're like you're bleeding, an emergency

555
00:36:23.679 --> 00:36:26.239
room is a great place, like just go there. And

556
00:36:26.280 --> 00:36:28.199
the same thing with the probate court, Like, the probate

557
00:36:28.239 --> 00:36:36.079
court has wonderful solutions for bad situations. So I think

558
00:36:36.119 --> 00:36:39.280
a lot of people avoid going to probate just because

559
00:36:39.920 --> 00:36:42.599
they have this idea. Oh, probate is horrible and it

560
00:36:42.679 --> 00:36:45.079
costs a lot of money and it's expensive but same

561
00:36:45.119 --> 00:36:47.480
thing about the emergency room. Yeah, it costs a lot

562
00:36:47.480 --> 00:36:51.760
of money, but you can also says that way right right?

563
00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:58.920
What so time always goes so fast? All right? I

564
00:36:58.960 --> 00:37:02.000
want to kind of I want to finish up and

565
00:37:02.079 --> 00:37:06.840
have some strong finish here with some practical suggestions. Yeah,

566
00:37:06.880 --> 00:37:11.719
So what professionals should an error surround themselves with that maybe,

567
00:37:11.880 --> 00:37:15.519
like I would hope that if you know, if you

568
00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:19.159
have some good family, that dynamic dynamics going, and people

569
00:37:19.239 --> 00:37:24.000
know that they're going to be inheriting, what professionals should

570
00:37:24.039 --> 00:37:28.559
they surround themselves with that that hopefully are trusted advisors

571
00:37:28.559 --> 00:37:30.159
that can help them make good decisions.

572
00:37:31.199 --> 00:37:35.800
You actually hit it on the head that I think

573
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:40.239
the type of professional is less important than the trusted advisor.

574
00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:42.840
And I think a trusted advisor is someone who has

575
00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:48.159
gone through a similar situation, Like I struggled for years

576
00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:52.280
with finding a finding a trusted finding a trusted advisor,

577
00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:55.440
someone who had actually gone through this same situation. And

578
00:37:55.480 --> 00:37:58.480
I've listen, I've talked to a lot of financial advisors

579
00:37:59.159 --> 00:38:01.199
and told them about my story, and I've I've sent

580
00:38:01.239 --> 00:38:03.000
them copies of my book and they read it and

581
00:38:03.079 --> 00:38:05.880
you know, got money and lost it, and their their

582
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:09.480
answer is is always, oh, you just needed a certified

583
00:38:09.519 --> 00:38:14.280
financial planner, Like what I mean, That's that's what I needed.

584
00:38:14.559 --> 00:38:17.000
What I needed was someone that I could connect with,

585
00:38:17.400 --> 00:38:21.159
who I trusted, and who I could communicate with. And

586
00:38:21.639 --> 00:38:27.119
ideally that person would have been an attorney or a

587
00:38:27.119 --> 00:38:31.079
financial planner, or or or a pastor or I mean

588
00:38:31.079 --> 00:38:33.440
it could have been anyone. It really could have been anyone,

589
00:38:33.480 --> 00:38:36.440
but just some someone, someone who has gone through my

590
00:38:36.559 --> 00:38:44.920
experience and and has some insight. That's what I really needed, right, Yeah, Well.

591
00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:48.920
How do you help? So let's say you've got somebody

592
00:38:48.920 --> 00:38:51.519
coming in, how do you help that person slow down

593
00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:59.719
and make intentional choices rather than just reacting to whatever

594
00:38:59.760 --> 00:39:02.199
the is going on? How do you help them slow down?

595
00:39:04.199 --> 00:39:09.840
I I try to connect and have them trust me

596
00:39:10.159 --> 00:39:13.800
and so that they can so when I tell them

597
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:15.559
to slow down, that they listen.

598
00:39:16.519 --> 00:39:24.039
Yeah. Yeah, Because really it's kind of like, okay, deep breath,

599
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:30.639
let's learn because there's so what strategies are you using

600
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:36.880
these days for turning that one time inheritance into a

601
00:39:37.079 --> 00:39:40.880
lasting generational wealth. What kind of strategies you recommend?

602
00:39:42.239 --> 00:39:44.199
I go back to what I said before, you know,

603
00:39:44.320 --> 00:39:49.880
the three layers. I'm working with my kids all the

604
00:39:49.920 --> 00:39:53.679
time about their aspirations and not just things that I'm

605
00:39:53.719 --> 00:39:55.800
telling them, like they have they have to come up

606
00:39:55.800 --> 00:39:58.159
with their own aspirations. But we come up with common

607
00:39:58.199 --> 00:40:05.079
ideas just it happened naturally and uh, common values of

608
00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:09.000
communication and and we practice this all the time with

609
00:40:11.199 --> 00:40:16.079
oh shoot, like I I'm tempted to go into a

610
00:40:16.119 --> 00:40:18.599
story about my daughter, but I'm not on to respect

611
00:40:18.599 --> 00:40:21.159
her privacy. But but like like my kids come to

612
00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:23.800
me with with their issues and I share my own issues.

613
00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:26.960
I'm I'm probably more open than many parents are about

614
00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:30.239
my things and how I'm learning and think like my kids.

615
00:40:30.440 --> 00:40:32.840
My kids can rack off the things that I've learned.

616
00:40:32.840 --> 00:40:36.360
This year, I became sober, like that was a huge thing,

617
00:40:36.800 --> 00:40:41.760
and just different things like that. So so we're we're

618
00:40:41.800 --> 00:40:47.320
connecting that way and and then working on legal documents together.

619
00:40:47.400 --> 00:40:53.679
But so the answer I think your question was, like

620
00:40:53.719 --> 00:40:56.559
what what what's a concrete step to tell people, like

621
00:40:56.679 --> 00:41:04.639
just work on communication if you and it's a it's

622
00:41:04.679 --> 00:41:09.320
a process. Like there's something called active listening. If you're listening,

623
00:41:09.559 --> 00:41:11.519
you know, if you're listening, you don't know what active

624
00:41:11.559 --> 00:41:15.519
listening is learn about it. If you're listening and you

625
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:22.920
and do you find yourself doing things because doing things

626
00:41:22.920 --> 00:41:26.440
because other people say that you should, or doing things

627
00:41:26.480 --> 00:41:30.800
because because of other people's feelings, as called cold dependency,

628
00:41:30.920 --> 00:41:33.320
like learn about that. Like learn about some of these

629
00:41:33.320 --> 00:41:36.079
things and then talk to your kids, because if it's

630
00:41:36.119 --> 00:41:40.159
affected you, I guarantee it's affected your kids because it's

631
00:41:40.239 --> 00:41:42.559
rubbed off, and then you can learn about it together.

632
00:41:43.559 --> 00:41:47.920
Right. I could say, Also, there's other episodes that I've

633
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:50.280
had with other guests where we've talked about some of

634
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:57.400
these things, about figuring out more of the psychological emotional things. So,

635
00:41:57.400 --> 00:42:02.880
so Paul, we're running out of time, and so Paul,

636
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:07.119
what would be what would you leave listeners with? What

637
00:42:07.159 --> 00:42:12.360
would be one piece of advice maybe about turning inheritance

638
00:42:12.480 --> 00:42:16.239
into something lasting? What would be what would what would

639
00:42:16.280 --> 00:42:17.800
be the one thing that you would want to leave

640
00:42:17.800 --> 00:42:18.360
people with?

641
00:42:22.039 --> 00:42:29.719
Mm hmmm. Uh. I could give you a quick short answer,

642
00:42:29.960 --> 00:42:32.360
or I can give you something meaningful. Which one do

643
00:42:32.400 --> 00:42:41.559
you want? Uh? Okay, I'll get So I'm going to

644
00:42:41.599 --> 00:42:45.599
give you the real answer. H And some people may

645
00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:48.280
may find this hard to understand, but I'm going to

646
00:42:48.280 --> 00:42:50.559
give you what I think is the real answer, And

647
00:42:50.639 --> 00:42:57.440
the real answer is to leave a lasting legacy, like

648
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:04.320
do some soul searching and figure out what what you

649
00:43:04.679 --> 00:43:08.159
actually want, not what you think you're supposed to do,

650
00:43:08.679 --> 00:43:11.159
not what your parents told you you were supposed to do,

651
00:43:11.840 --> 00:43:16.000
not not what you saw YouTube video about or whatever. Like,

652
00:43:16.400 --> 00:43:20.119
really figure out what you want. And I and I

653
00:43:20.119 --> 00:43:21.000
I know you're Christian.

654
00:43:21.079 --> 00:43:26.039
I'm Christian saying ask yourself some good, good questions, right,

655
00:43:26.760 --> 00:43:27.679
you're Basically.

656
00:43:28.239 --> 00:43:33.280
It has to do with so so the Bible doesn't

657
00:43:33.320 --> 00:43:37.440
talk about dharma, but it's dharma. Okay, figure out I

658
00:43:37.480 --> 00:43:41.559
mean I think, okay, whole different episode, whole different tangent.

659
00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:45.039
But but but figure out what your purpose is, okay,

660
00:43:45.159 --> 00:43:49.079
like like and that takes silence, That takes some quiet

661
00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:54.440
and soul searching and whatnot. And then like figure out

662
00:43:54.440 --> 00:43:57.239
what's really meaningful, not not just short little things like

663
00:43:57.280 --> 00:44:00.760
oh you know these these coffee cups are or whatever.

664
00:44:00.920 --> 00:44:02.599
You know, we're supposed to stay in the family. Is

665
00:44:02.599 --> 00:44:04.880
that really important or is it more of a value,

666
00:44:05.119 --> 00:44:06.519
Like just do some soul searching.

667
00:44:07.639 --> 00:44:11.199
Awesome, Well, we are out of time. This always goes

668
00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:15.760
so fast, and I think I'm hoping people will listen

669
00:44:15.800 --> 00:44:19.199
to this again because there's some very very very important

670
00:44:19.199 --> 00:44:22.039
things and you never know when this might be coming

671
00:44:22.079 --> 00:44:25.639
your way. And so Paul, thank you so much for

672
00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:29.719
joining us today, and thank you so much to everyone

673
00:44:29.760 --> 00:44:33.840
that's listening for joining the Ask Good Questions Podcast.

674
00:44:34.519 --> 00:44:36.920
Thanks Bania.

675
00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:42.480
Today's episode is over, but we did Ask Good Questions again,

676
00:44:42.599 --> 00:44:46.800
didn't We don't miss out as we broadcast live every Wednesday,

677
00:44:46.840 --> 00:44:50.599
six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

678
00:44:50.800 --> 00:44:54.599
w four cy dot com. Joined Banina Bell Anderson next

679
00:44:54.599 --> 00:44:59.719
week for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement, behavioral

680
00:44:59.719 --> 00:45:03.679
plot answer issues, health and wellness, and more. Until then,

681
00:45:04.199 --> 00:45:07.000
remember to ask good questions.