March 12, 2025

The Six Keys to a Winner’s Money Mindset

The Six Keys to a Winner’s Money Mindset

True financial empowerment is cultivated through education & a deep understanding of how money works. Wielding financial power effectively requires more than just having money. It demands a purposeful approach to financial education and an...

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True financial empowerment is cultivated through education & a deep understanding of how money works. Wielding financial power effectively requires more than just having money. It demands a purposeful approach to financial education and an understanding of how to make money serve not just your immediate desires but your long-term goals. Join Bonita today as we go through the high points of Chapter Two of her newest book, and remember that its not how much you have, its what you end up keeping!

Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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The topics and opinions express in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We

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make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No

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liability explicitor implies shall be extended to W FOURCY Radio

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or it's employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments should

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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing

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W FOURCY Radio.

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Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,

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six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

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W fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we

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will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,

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as well as a focus on health and wellness. Now,

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let's join your hosts, Banita Bell Anderson as together we

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start with Asking Good Questions.

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Hello, and welcome to Ask Good Questions podcast. Today it

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is me and I have a great show for you today.

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I am actually taking a bunch of concepts from the

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second chapter of my latest book, which is Money Mindset

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and the Suddenly Single, The Ultimate Guide for Divorcees and

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Widows kind of the idea behind that was people who

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you know, crazy things happen in life, and so when

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something happens and you have not been used to taking

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care of your money, then all of a sudden, I

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have seen people just get frozen. And so that's where

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the book kind of started from. So this week is

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some big concepts from the second after, which is about

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starting the transformation of your mindset to be able to

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do something hard that you maybe have not been able

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to do before. So I'm going to bring the slides

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up now if we can. So oh my, because I

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did my and also I have an announcement. You can

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see that the slides this week were inspired by ocean,

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like an ocean theme. Well, we're going to be doing

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a senior mission to Hawaii for a year, So I'm

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going to be leaving in a couple of months for Hawaii.

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It's a service mission. It's kind of open ended. You

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can pretty much figure out where you want to go

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help and so anyway, I'm excited because for the podcast,

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I want to bring some cool guests that you'd only

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be able to have if you're in a you know,

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interesting place like Hawaii. So that will be something that

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will be coming up, but today the six keys to

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a winner's money mindset. And please please please pay attention

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because this is going to apply to anybody, but especially

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to people that are going through any kind of life transition.

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We're going to talk about these keys that I discussed

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in the second chapter of my book. And if you

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so choose to go get my book, you can find

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the information on the bonus download the information about me

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and the bonus download on the Ask Good Questions podcast

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dot com website. Also you can find it on Amazon

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and all good places like that. So those six keys

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are fail your mind with the best information, pick a

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few great role models, examine your current beliefs, fortify your

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mindset with a vision and set some goals. Please protect

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your mindset, and don't let a mistake trash your money mindset.

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Those are the big things. But don't you love these

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beautiful pictures of surfers and everything. We're actually going to

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be on o Wahu, so I'm looking to maybe do

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a podcast from the north shore where the big waves are. Anyway,

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I digress the power of thinking you can here's when

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you have a big change going on in your life.

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Instead of saying I can't. I can't. I can't. I

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want you to think, how can I? What can I

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do if I'm facing some big challenge. So before I

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get into the keys, we're going to talk about a

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few things. We're going to There's a couple of concepts

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before we get into those keys. First one is money

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is really more than a currency. It's really about the

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emotions that are connected to it and what people make

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it mean to have money or not. If you didn't

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grow up rich or wealthy, I don't think I'm going

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to use rich. I'm going to use wealthy. If you

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didn't grow up wealthy. One thing you'll probably have to

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deal with when you find that you're suddenly single, if

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you someday, you know, go through a divorce or someday

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lose a spouse or a partner, it's a clash with

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your subconscious beliefs from your upbringing and they got a

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lot of times collides with the realities of what's going

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on in your life. So this, I believe is the

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root cause of why people go through a massive life

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change who came from poverty or even middle class upbrings,

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and they can end up broke or bankrupt within a

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very short amount of time. I'm sure you can think

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of people like win the lottery, and then you hear

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these crazy stories about how they all of a sudden

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lose it all. Well, stepping into money in some way,

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shape or form, I'm not talking about a whole lot

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it may be just a little but whatever it is,

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if it's something that's stressing you out, it can feel

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like walking into a fog where the familiar landmarks of

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your life just seemed to start to blur. I went

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through a terrible divorce. It was a huge life changing

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event twenty five years ago. I was completely in a

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blur for a while, and it's a journey that really

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surprisingly can lead you into really uncharted emotional territories. I know,

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for me, I started beating myself. You know, what did

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I do wrong? And everything else. So the sudden shift

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in your financial status a lot of times doesn't just

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alter a bank balance. It really emotionally can transform your

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emotional world and in ways that you may not have anticipated.

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There's I'm going to talk a little bit more later

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about money and happiness, but there's been a lot of

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studies that have been done about whether money makes you

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happy or not, and really you know, newsflash, true contentment

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often lies beyond the realms of financial abundance. It just

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is the case. So watch out for clashing with your

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subconscious beliefs, watch out for sabotaging yourself. I know that

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I wrestled with who I was and what I was

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going to be about when I went through that massive change,

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and it's just something that it'll help you grow. If

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it doesn't kill you, it'll help you grow. Right, So

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let's talk a little bit about that thing about complexity

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of happiness and money. If you dive into that intricate

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daance between money and happiness, it really unveils a terrain

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of misconceptions and half truths. The idea that money is

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a golden ticket to happiness is a myth that has

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been debunked time and time again. So I know what

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you're saying, Hey, I think it sure would help, and

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yes it can, but not for long. You have to

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you have to know that there's been studies that have

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shed light on the reality that many people face, and

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that is that despite having financial abundance, maybe you know,

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maybe they do have a nice bucket of money, there's

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an undercurrent of isolation and a sense of unfulfillment. You

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can be you can be wildly happy with very little money,

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and you can have a whole bunch of money and

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be miserable. So that points to a deeper truth about happiness.

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It's not something that can be purchased or accumulated like money. True,

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here's the big wisdom. True contentment springs from a well

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of emotional well being and personal fulfillment elements that money

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can't touch. How in the heck you do that, Benita? Right?

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So it's really crucial to understand that while money plays

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a significant role duh, it's not a panacea for all

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of life's challenges. You know. It's really an allure of

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a hefty bank balance that can be very, very enticing,

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but it's no substitute for the joy that can be

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found in genuine human connections and the satisfaction that's derived

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from personal achievements and growth. So this is to say

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that financial resources aren't important, but and they, I guess.

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Another thing I would say is yes, obviously they can

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certainly ease a lot of life's burdens. But the mistake

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lies in believing that money alone is enough to fill

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our lives with joy and meaning. Hopefully, you understand that

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hopefully that is something that you've found in your life.

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So you've got to recognize what the limitations are of

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what money can offer, and don't expect it to bring

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you happiness. We're going to during this episode, we're going

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to be talking about how do you do that? How

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do you get more purpose? And what you're really going

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to be looking for is the ingredients of a life

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well lived, offering a sense of purpose and belonging that

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no amount of money can replicate. Right, So the journey ahead. So, yes,

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we all want more money in our bank accounts, and

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as you stand on the threshold of looking at the future,

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how are you going to get to where you want

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to go? It's not just about managing numbers in a

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bank account. I want you to be thinking about what

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can you do with that resource, because that's what it is.

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It's a tool, it's a resource, and I want you

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to think about aligning those newfound resources with your deepest

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values and aspirations. And you're like, come on, Manita, I

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just want a big bank account. Well, there was another

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study that was done by a bank that really hit

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home on this topic. I talked about the crucial step

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of intertwining your financial decisions with your personal values. Imagine

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that it struck a chord with me when I saw that,

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Because what I teach is that money service of purpose

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that needs to resonate with your core beliefs and aspirations. Right.

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So that's why I'm saying intertwining your financial decisions with

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your personal values. So that's a big idea to intertwine

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the money with the values, and it transforms money from

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a mere financial asset into a tool. I want you

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to think of it as a tool for crafting a

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life that generally reflects who you are. So like an

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example for me, you know, I've been a scuba diver

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for thirty years. I love the ocean. I know other

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people that go, oh, I can never scuba dive, But

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here I am. I'm just about to embark on a

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fun on a mission to serve a purpose in Hawaii.

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But a long way I plan on helping out with

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crawl reef restoration people. That's what I'm talking about, is

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like you set things up so that you go, how

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can I accomplish this or how can I accomplish that

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that I'd like to do? So Thriving in a new

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chapter of life where you start thinking like this isn't

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just about the practicalities of managing money. Yes, you need

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to know how to do those things, but it's about

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navigating that emotional, that value driven aspects that are going

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to really come with it and really give you some meaning.

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So it's going to set the stage for the time ahead.

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I never knew if this opportunity that I have to

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be in Hawaii for a year was ever going to

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come up, But here it is, and it's happening, and

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so let's talk a little bit more. Oops, I got

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to do this about who you are? Think about your mindset.

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That's what this whole thing about is today, about your mindset.

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What the heck is that it's all of your knowledge.

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It includes the subconscious and the conscious beliefs. You've got

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beliefs that you don't even know that you have, and

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you have thoughts about the world, and wow, are we

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watching what's going on with the news right now? There's

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crazy things going on and who are you in that world?

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Where do you fit? So your mindset, did you know,

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determines how you receive and react to information that you're getting.

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You have like a window of perception that you view

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things through, and your mindset messes with your money. It

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impacts your perception of yourself and what you're allowed. You know,

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what am I allowed to have? Am I allowed to

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have this much? Or am I allowed to have this much?

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So anyone who grew up not wealthy needs to adjust

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their mindset in order to become wealthy. I know that

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for me when I went through that terrible transition in

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life twenty five years ago, I was a mess and

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I had to reinvent who I was from the get go,

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because you know, the thing was that helped me was

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I wanted to help my girls. I wanted to be

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able to be as whole as I could be so

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that I could help my daughters who were also going

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through a lot of struggles. So if you become wealthy,

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you you must make yet another mindset adjustment in order

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to stay wealthy keep the money that you have here Again,

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I'm talking from experience, because as I look back over

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those first few years, I did a lot of things

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that sabotage myself. And so whatever you've gained, it's going

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to clash with the value system that you have deep

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down inside that you may never have known that you

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have annie self made person, and I'm going to talk

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to you. I'm going to give you three examples a

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little bit later. Must at some point overcome limiting beliefs

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about what it means to have money. Have you ever

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heard the words, let's see, let's talk about these terms greedy, dishonest, selfish, cheater, user, shallow, rude, nasty.

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Was that used to describe wealth when you were a kid.

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Is that what you're hearing on the news media that

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you watch possibly right now. If you don't, if you

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or if you didn't, I'd be surprised. The typical, the

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typical middle and lower class mindset is that wealthy people

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are dirt bags. They're only looking out for themselves. They

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look good on the outside, but inside they're emotionally and

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morally bankrupt. That in the past has been a way

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for people without money to feel better about themselves. I

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think that situation is changing, but that's just I'm just

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looking at what's what I've seen happen in my life

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in the past, and some of the things that go

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along with that mindset would be, Oh, I may be broke,

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but at least I'm a good person. And so it's

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unfortunate because it's that very mindset that makes it difficult

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for any self made person, but especially somebody who's going

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through some kind of life transition to hold on to

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and grow their money. So this chapter in my book

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has is for those who find themselves at that crossroad

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of having some big transition happening in their life and

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navigating and being aware that you have hidden programming running

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inside of you. You have to trust yourself to make

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decisions that align with your values and aspirations. And especially

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like I am a grandma, the legacy that I want

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to leave behind, this, I want to include this in

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the legacy that I leave behind. And so at the

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end of the day, understanding that you need to trust

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yourself first with possibly newfound money or thinking about how

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am I going to be successful in XYZ it's the

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cornerstone of not only surviving, but thriving in the life ahead. Okay.

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So also the other thing that's interesting is when people

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have received a bucket of money, sometimes they become more

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visible and that can be a big problem. But I

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want you to overcome those limiting beliefs. Think about what

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it means to you, Think about how am I going

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to live purposely maintain a positive outlook and trust yourself

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to align with your values. Okay, all right, moving forward.

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So I've got some example of I took three people

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that I know, you're I'm going to know, and they

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exemplify some of these issues that we're talking about. Right

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before I go into those, I want to just mention

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that American teens are lagging way behind in their approach

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to basic financial problems and education. That seems to be

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changing with state regulatory entities and banks providing more and

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more financial workshops and things. But it's it is very

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true that in the past a lot of kids coming

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into adulthood had n flip an idea how they were

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going to do anything. So as I talk about some

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of these examples, I want you to think about, let's

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call it financial empowerment. How are you going to empower

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yourself for you know, and don't think about like becoming

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uber whatever, just you know, just to meet the goals

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and the things that you want in your life. That

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financial empowerment is cultivated through financial education, which is what

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I'm all about, and a deep understanding of how money works.

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So consider the transformation of Robert Kiyosaki. Now you may

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know him. He's the mind and the author behind Rich Dad,

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Poor Dad. I got that book, uh, probably forty years ago.

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Maybe it's forty years ago, but it's one of the

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first books I read about his own financial enlightenment. And

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it didn't come from amassing money, but for understanding the

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mechanics behind it. He draws a clear line between assets

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and liabilities, and he teaches that the essence of financial

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growth doesn't lie in the accumulation, but wise management of resources.

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Remember me telling you about sabotaging myself. Well, I did

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not have a handle back in the day when I

301
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was going through huge stress. I did not have a

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handle on wise management of resources. His narrative is a

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testament to the idea that financial literacy isn't just beneficial,

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it's essential for anyone looking to navigate the waters of

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money with confidence and purpose. So that's Robert Kiyosaki, all right.

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The next one, Warren Buffett. You've been living underneath the rock.

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If you don't know who Warren Buffett is, he is

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a name synonymous with investment success. Right. His advocacy for

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financial education isn't just talk. His life's work reflects a

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steadfast belief in the value of investing in oneself. And

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I know that. You know Dean Piper, who is the

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kind of the brainstorm behind all these podcasts that people do.

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He's a big believer and the value of investing in yourself.

314
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I know I had an interview a few weeks ago

315
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with Garrett Gunderson, huge believer in investing in yourself. So

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Warren Buffett, from his early days delivering newspapers to his

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role as the chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, his journey is

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a masterclass in the application of financial knowledge. He argues

319
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that the most significant investment you can make is in

320
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your own education. That is a pillar, rock solid thing,

321
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and it fundamentally enhances your ability to make inform financial decisions.

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That's a big deal. Hear that his story illuminates the

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path from understanding to action taking action, showing how a

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solid foundation in financial principles can unlock doors to success

325
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that seem virtually impossible. Okay, So the last one you

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can see on the slide Elon Musk. Now there's a

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name in the headlines today. Now, whether you love Elon

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Musk or you hate him, that's not why he's on

329
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this list of mind today. He is a great example

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of someone who really thinks differently for most of us.

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His endeavors are not rooted in the pursuit of money, no,

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not at all. But his endeavors are rooted in a

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mission to address some of humanity's most pressing challenges right

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through SpaceX. You know that the grand explosions that there's

335
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banned as well as the grand successes. He envisions a

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future where humanity is not confined to a single planet.

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Who thinks about that, thereby safeguarding our species' long term survival,

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I mean, who in the world is thinking about that?

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While Elon musk is Tesla on the other hand, is

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a testament to his commitment to environmental sustainability. Now, I

341
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know there's a lot of issues around what that means,

342
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and the argument is both pro and con. But he

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is someone who's very much interested in renewable energy sources, right,

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So that's not the point. The point is that, whether

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you agree with him or not, these investments reflect a

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deep seated belief in the power of innovation. Right. That's

347
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kind of back behind it all to affect meaningful change,

348
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demonstrating how his financial resources can be mobilized to forge

349
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new paths. So I thought that was a great example

350
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of you don't need to be another Elon Musk, you

351
00:27:57.480 --> 00:28:00.759
don't need to be another Warren Buffett. But think about

352
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what you want to accomplish in your life, and you

353
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can use that tool called money to affect change in

354
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your life and give yourself permission to do the things

355
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that you want to do. So why is investing is

356
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as much about the impact on the world around us

357
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as it is about personal or financial gain. Really it's exciting.

358
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It's about identifying opportunities not only for growth, but for

359
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generating positive change, whether that's through education, environmental conservation, or

360
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technological innovation. This advites us to consider the legacy that

361
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we want to live. So think, you know here I am,

362
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I'm a grandma. I'm using my resource and I'm thinking

363
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about in my brain what is the legacy that I

364
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want to to leave behind me? Right, Okay, let's get

365
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into these keys. Right, there's six of them. Number one,

366
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fill your mind with the best information. Right. A big

367
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key is making sure that you're basing it on accurate information.

368
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So searching the internet for good financial advice is equivalent

369
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to walking up the bleachers in your local arena. And

370
00:29:28.319 --> 00:29:32.599
talking to someone in section two O one rosie that

371
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you know, how should I grow my money? No, you

372
00:29:36.599 --> 00:29:40.119
need to You need to realize that day traders get

373
00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:44.920
rich quick schemes, business opportunities, whatever that might be, of

374
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.480
all kinds abound everywhere. Don't get distracted or go down

375
00:29:49.559 --> 00:29:53.799
the rabbit hole of the internet. But find a trusted advisor.

376
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You know, like I help people with figuring out some

377
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of these things. Maybe go to your friend that seems

378
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:05.759
like they might have it all together and see what

379
00:30:05.799 --> 00:30:11.240
they're doing. But find a trusted advisor and get some

380
00:30:11.839 --> 00:30:15.839
real education so that you can look at your goals,

381
00:30:16.119 --> 00:30:20.000
look at your values, look at your level of risk tolerance,

382
00:30:20.759 --> 00:30:23.880
look at your time frames. Those are all things that

383
00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:26.279
you need to do to figure out the best course

384
00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:31.559
for you. Right, I get a little passionate about this.

385
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Number two. Pick a few great role models, so you know,

386
00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:44.039
maybe the next time you're at a social gathering, look

387
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around the room, and who do you see that seems

388
00:30:47.240 --> 00:30:51.039
like they have their act together. It's not going to

389
00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:54.400
be anybody that's boasting. I would run away from people

390
00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:58.279
that are boasting about something. But the ones that appear

391
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calm and and content and they don't have anything to

392
00:31:02.519 --> 00:31:09.720
prove about their money. That type of model possesses desirable characteristics.

393
00:31:09.799 --> 00:31:12.559
That's what you're looking for. You want to find somebody

394
00:31:12.599 --> 00:31:16.799
that's easy to look up to, inspires their family and friends,

395
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:23.000
They respect, you know, others, They practice what they preach.

396
00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:28.839
Though all those things, a lot of times they're supporting

397
00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:33.400
worthwhile causes. Go find those people that are supporting worthwhile causes.

398
00:31:33.880 --> 00:31:36.559
How do they have the resources to do that? Right?

399
00:31:39.079 --> 00:31:44.200
You should also see them acting ethically and demonstrating honesty

400
00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:46.200
on a consistent basis.

401
00:31:46.920 --> 00:31:47.079
And.

402
00:31:48.920 --> 00:31:53.480
Approach them. See if they're willing to offer some guidance,

403
00:31:55.079 --> 00:31:57.920
whether or not they become an official mentor, you can

404
00:31:57.960 --> 00:32:01.759
adopt their money mindset possible and apply it to what

405
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:06.319
is right for you. It's never about copying, it's about

406
00:32:06.359 --> 00:32:11.559
being inspired. Finding something that inspires you. Uh. You know

407
00:32:11.720 --> 00:32:16.599
the people that I mentioned, go read their story. Maybe

408
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:20.440
that will inspire you as well. All right, but take

409
00:32:20.519 --> 00:32:28.400
inspiration from those that have gone before you. Okay. Number three.

410
00:32:28.720 --> 00:32:33.599
Beliefs we have about money often don't seem like beliefs.

411
00:32:34.680 --> 00:32:38.599
We just think they're true. But like I said earlier,

412
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:42.400
if you didn't grow up wealthy, chances are high that

413
00:32:42.519 --> 00:32:46.799
you have beliefs about money that could limit your ability

414
00:32:46.839 --> 00:32:49.799
to create and hold on to money. And if you're

415
00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:53.799
going bye bye bye bye bye, hold on. The first

416
00:32:53.839 --> 00:32:57.400
step to change is awareness, pretty much in everything I've

417
00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:01.119
ever seen in my life. So I've outlined the questions

418
00:33:02.039 --> 00:33:05.079
that you can ask yourself to help bring your deeply

419
00:33:05.119 --> 00:33:08.799
held beliefs to the surface. All right, So I'm going

420
00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:11.440
to pause for a few seconds in between I'm going

421
00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:14.160
to read you these questions, and I'm going to just

422
00:33:14.240 --> 00:33:25.119
pause between them. Where did your family come from? What

423
00:33:25.200 --> 00:33:28.000
was it like growing up? Get some images in your brain?

424
00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:34.799
What was it like growing up? What did I learn

425
00:33:35.480 --> 00:33:41.920
about money growing up? I'll probably trigger something. What did

426
00:33:41.960 --> 00:33:47.480
you learn about money growing up? What was my family's

427
00:33:47.720 --> 00:33:55.599
attitude towards rich people? Right? So, then, on one hand,

428
00:33:56.680 --> 00:34:05.599
what's the hardest lesson you've ever learned regarding money? I've

429
00:34:05.640 --> 00:34:12.199
got plenty. On the other hand, what's the best experience

430
00:34:13.360 --> 00:34:21.039
you've ever had with money? Now? Some I think out here,

431
00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:26.039
what would I do with my time if no one

432
00:34:26.199 --> 00:34:35.079
paid me? Where would I retire? Or maybe what do

433
00:34:35.159 --> 00:34:40.159
I want to be doing if I retire? Are there

434
00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:43.760
self limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of

435
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:48.559
answering some of these questions. Do you need to let

436
00:34:48.639 --> 00:34:53.760
go of something that you've just become aware of? Know

437
00:34:53.960 --> 00:34:56.800
that the best way to let go of an old

438
00:34:56.880 --> 00:35:01.519
limiting belief is to give yourself a new experience, do

439
00:35:01.679 --> 00:35:06.360
something different, get a better result, and build on that.

440
00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:11.199
Before you know, you'll be thinking, you know, taking yourself

441
00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:17.199
up in how you think about yourself. So I said

442
00:35:17.199 --> 00:35:20.840
this before. You have to think like a wealthy person

443
00:35:21.840 --> 00:35:25.119
so that you remain a wealthy person. Because if you

444
00:35:25.239 --> 00:35:30.519
have those limiting beliefs and you have this they call

445
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:33.679
it a money mindset that you know that puts you

446
00:35:33.800 --> 00:35:36.880
in a little box. Then it's going to be uncomfortable

447
00:35:36.920 --> 00:35:40.039
if you have more, and you will subconsciously get rid

448
00:35:40.039 --> 00:35:46.400
of it. I just tell me I know from personal experience. Okay,

449
00:35:47.920 --> 00:35:51.519
moving on number four. Oh, look at that big wave

450
00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:58.159
north shore here I come. Number four. Fortify your mindset

451
00:35:58.760 --> 00:36:03.719
with a vision and set some goals. Visualize where you

452
00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:07.519
want to go. You got to have a hunger. You've

453
00:36:07.559 --> 00:36:10.920
got to be hungry for wanting to make a change.

454
00:36:11.280 --> 00:36:15.239
This has to do with anything in life, right, But

455
00:36:15.519 --> 00:36:18.679
you've got to have a hunger to do something different

456
00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:23.719
if you're ever going to make a change, and it

457
00:36:23.760 --> 00:36:26.679
will only be that that helps you stay on track.

458
00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:32.039
Visualize clearly where you want to go, Write it down

459
00:36:33.760 --> 00:36:37.679
somewhere where you can reread it frequently, and remember to

460
00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:40.880
include your why? Why? Why? Why do you want to

461
00:36:40.920 --> 00:36:44.360
do this? How am I going to get here? How

462
00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:48.480
am I going to change the situation so that I

463
00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:52.599
can move forward? What are your reasons for wanting to

464
00:36:53.159 --> 00:36:57.960
have it? Have to have that hunger of wanting to

465
00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:03.280
make the change. So for help with goal setting. A

466
00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:09.440
lot of times I've done this look back exercise as

467
00:37:09.480 --> 00:37:13.559
well as a look forward exercise with hindsgight being twenty twenty.

468
00:37:14.039 --> 00:37:18.119
As you're looking back, ask yourself what needs to happen

469
00:37:18.639 --> 00:37:23.599
now for me to feel good where I am financially

470
00:37:23.719 --> 00:37:28.360
one year from now, five years from now, twenty years

471
00:37:28.360 --> 00:37:34.360
from now. And like someone I'm thinking of has said

472
00:37:34.400 --> 00:37:38.679
in the past, well if you if you, if you're

473
00:37:38.719 --> 00:37:43.440
telling me I can't, well if you could, what needs

474
00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:50.760
to happen? So start changing your language? Language is everything right?

475
00:37:52.079 --> 00:38:02.119
Remember to include your why. Number five, protect your mind set.

476
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:06.199
Here's a quote for you. The strength of a woman

477
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:09.119
is not measured by the impact that all her hardships

478
00:38:09.119 --> 00:38:12.239
in life have had on her. But the strength of

479
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:16.280
a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal

480
00:38:17.039 --> 00:38:21.679
to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes.

481
00:38:22.639 --> 00:38:27.400
It's by Gal named see Joy Belsey. Don't let negative

482
00:38:27.400 --> 00:38:33.960
people drag you down. Protect your mindset against bad information

483
00:38:34.079 --> 00:38:41.079
and negativity overload. Right, keep your confidence high. Go through

484
00:38:41.119 --> 00:38:43.840
and there's things you know you do the things that

485
00:38:43.880 --> 00:38:47.199
will help you keep your confidence high. You need to

486
00:38:47.239 --> 00:38:49.599
believe in yourself. You need to believe that you can

487
00:38:49.639 --> 00:38:52.320
do it, because if you don't, you ain't never going

488
00:38:52.400 --> 00:38:55.000
to do it. Then, right, be in a state of

489
00:38:55.159 --> 00:39:00.199
constant improvement and look to help others along the way.

490
00:39:00.440 --> 00:39:04.239
I feel this is important. If you get outside of yourself,

491
00:39:05.679 --> 00:39:09.199
you're gonna help yourself by helping others. You can't go

492
00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:18.000
wrong there, right, all right? Number six, don't let a

493
00:39:18.039 --> 00:39:21.320
mistake trash your money. Mine said, Oh boy, have I

494
00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:25.239
got several mistakes that I've made that you know I've

495
00:39:25.320 --> 00:39:27.639
learned from. You look back and you look at what

496
00:39:27.679 --> 00:39:30.679
were the lessons. I've got some big lessons. The reason

497
00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:33.840
that this podcast is called Ask Good Questions was because

498
00:39:34.239 --> 00:39:37.199
some of the horrific mistakes in my past. I didn't

499
00:39:37.239 --> 00:39:43.119
ask good questions. So here's John Wooden, who was an

500
00:39:43.119 --> 00:39:47.960
American basketball coach and a winner of ten NCAA championships.

501
00:39:48.079 --> 00:39:52.199
John said, if you're not making mistakes, then you're not

502
00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:57.159
doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes. That's

503
00:39:57.239 --> 00:40:02.039
coach wouldn't. So like anything in life, sometimes you're going

504
00:40:02.079 --> 00:40:07.840
to make mistakes. We're human, and that's going to happen

505
00:40:07.920 --> 00:40:10.800
with managing your money. I get it. I've made some

506
00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:14.960
big mistakes with money. Don't let any mistake pull you

507
00:40:15.039 --> 00:40:21.320
off your vision, look for the lesson and move on.

508
00:40:22.880 --> 00:40:26.679
Before you know that you're competent at managing money, you

509
00:40:26.719 --> 00:40:30.360
may find yourself slipping into feelings that are as signs of,

510
00:40:30.840 --> 00:40:34.119
you know, a lack of confidence, like oh I can't

511
00:40:34.159 --> 00:40:38.039
do this well. Take note and get support from that

512
00:40:38.119 --> 00:40:42.320
trusted advisor that we talked about you finding that'll help

513
00:40:42.400 --> 00:40:49.679
you navigate the waters without allowing insecurities to hijack your progress.

514
00:40:50.280 --> 00:40:55.360
Right when I picked myself up and started to rebuild

515
00:40:55.400 --> 00:41:01.360
my life twenty five years ago, I base characterized myself

516
00:41:01.400 --> 00:41:04.840
as being curled up in a corner, sucking my thumb

517
00:41:04.920 --> 00:41:09.880
and just totally incapacitated. And there was a moment where

518
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:13.119
I started getting outside of myself and I said, damn it,

519
00:41:13.199 --> 00:41:17.320
I am not going to let this destroy me. And

520
00:41:17.400 --> 00:41:23.079
so you have to sometimes get to that point where

521
00:41:23.159 --> 00:41:26.599
you just say, I'm going to move forward. So you

522
00:41:26.719 --> 00:41:32.480
might have these signs of feeling overwhelmed, avoiding it, not

523
00:41:32.599 --> 00:41:36.719
spending time on personal financial issues. If you're avoiding it,

524
00:41:36.840 --> 00:41:43.199
an arrogance, being careless, coming at investment opportunities with oh,

525
00:41:43.280 --> 00:41:47.199
I know all about that, that type of attitude, but

526
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:52.519
recognize that feeling overwhelmed is something that happens to all

527
00:41:52.559 --> 00:41:58.679
of us, and do something about it. Finally, there's something

528
00:41:59.039 --> 00:42:01.320
that I always say, and that is that money doesn't

529
00:42:01.360 --> 00:42:06.119
make you happy. You do. Money's only a source of

530
00:42:06.119 --> 00:42:08.920
happiness when it is used to do good for others.

531
00:42:10.440 --> 00:42:17.960
So rich people get depressed, poor people get depressed. Everybody

532
00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:23.239
will have those problems every once in a while. True,

533
00:42:23.239 --> 00:42:27.440
there's no evidence that money makes you unhappy, but the

534
00:42:27.480 --> 00:42:30.960
addage that money doesn't buy happiness holds true. My grandmother

535
00:42:32.199 --> 00:42:35.039
was right when she told me to value health and

536
00:42:35.079 --> 00:42:39.039
friends over money and stuff. Perhaps someone in your life

537
00:42:39.280 --> 00:42:42.440
has shared the same wisdom with you. And it was

538
00:42:42.559 --> 00:42:46.639
my mother who I miss greatly. She's passed on several

539
00:42:46.719 --> 00:42:51.639
years ago. Mom always said take care of your own business.

540
00:42:52.360 --> 00:42:56.760
So in teaching me that, she was teaching me about

541
00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:03.599
learning taking one hundred percent red responsibility for myself and

542
00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:06.440
doing the things that are going to help me move

543
00:43:06.559 --> 00:43:14.440
myself forward. Right, So money doesn't make you happy, You're

544
00:43:14.519 --> 00:43:17.480
going to figure out what makes you happy. Here's the

545
00:43:17.559 --> 00:43:25.599
things that I know for sure. Dysfunctional beliefs were created

546
00:43:25.679 --> 00:43:32.039
in your past, and that from our childhood we have

547
00:43:32.159 --> 00:43:34.400
things that we may might not even know that are there.

548
00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:40.039
You can change those beliefs that no longer serve you. Yes,

549
00:43:40.159 --> 00:43:45.320
you can, and create something new, something powerful, something of

550
00:43:45.400 --> 00:43:50.320
great worth for you and your family. To change those

551
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:55.000
outdated beliefs, you have to create that vision for your

552
00:43:55.079 --> 00:43:59.280
future so powerful that it reprograms your mind. You get

553
00:43:59.320 --> 00:44:05.239
excited about it. So nothing's going to happen unless you

554
00:44:05.320 --> 00:44:10.400
take consistent action to find the mindset that will support

555
00:44:10.480 --> 00:44:15.880
your long term goals. You have to persist through whatever

556
00:44:16.000 --> 00:44:19.719
challenges come up in your life, and it's all part

557
00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:22.119
of the ups and downs and the things that happen.

558
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:26.760
But those who keep their head up are eventually in

559
00:44:26.800 --> 00:44:30.880
my book, I believe are going to win. And remember

560
00:44:31.280 --> 00:44:36.360
you are great just as you are. You are whole

561
00:44:36.400 --> 00:44:41.480
and complete. This information is coming at you at this

562
00:44:41.679 --> 00:44:48.920
time for a purpose. To be powerful and an impactful person,

563
00:44:50.239 --> 00:44:53.159
you need to drive a truck through those beliefs that

564
00:44:53.199 --> 00:44:57.840
have limited your thinking in the past. So just realize,

565
00:44:57.960 --> 00:45:00.480
I'm telling you you can go out and make it difference.

566
00:45:00.639 --> 00:45:03.639
I don't care. Maybe it's just with you in your life,

567
00:45:03.960 --> 00:45:06.559
maybe it's with your family, maybe it's with your community.

568
00:45:07.360 --> 00:45:11.079
But you can make a difference. For inspiration, I think

569
00:45:11.119 --> 00:45:14.079
of the nonprofits that I've worked with in the past

570
00:45:14.760 --> 00:45:18.639
that have helped like homeless women and children. I hope

571
00:45:18.679 --> 00:45:21.559
to make a difference in the future with coral reef

572
00:45:21.639 --> 00:45:27.079
restoration projects, the you know, helping the ocean. So just

573
00:45:27.280 --> 00:45:33.440
remember that. I encourage you to dive in with an

574
00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:37.800
open mind and a willingness to learn. Be excited about

575
00:45:37.840 --> 00:45:40.440
the future. I think we have a fantastic future ahead

576
00:45:40.440 --> 00:45:44.519
of us. Read If you get the book, you can

577
00:45:44.639 --> 00:45:48.000
find it. There's a bonus in the bonus downloads on

578
00:45:48.039 --> 00:45:53.039
the way. On the podcast website there is bonus downloads

579
00:45:53.039 --> 00:45:56.280
and there's an information page about how to reach me

580
00:45:57.039 --> 00:46:00.920
how to find the link for the book on Amazon.

581
00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:05.840
But if you do get the book, read it through

582
00:46:06.280 --> 00:46:11.280
to familiarize yourself with the concepts and strategies that are presented,

583
00:46:11.400 --> 00:46:17.800
and then revisit it this time with applying lessons and

584
00:46:18.440 --> 00:46:21.440
think of how does this apply to my own particular situation.

585
00:46:23.039 --> 00:46:25.440
So those things are going to be there to help

586
00:46:25.480 --> 00:46:30.760
you crystallize your own goals, outline actionable steps that you

587
00:46:30.840 --> 00:46:34.159
can take, and really I want you to envision the

588
00:46:34.199 --> 00:46:38.760
future that you can build for yourself. That's going to

589
00:46:38.760 --> 00:46:44.039
be your playbook for financial success. Thank you so much

590
00:46:45.119 --> 00:46:48.440
for joining with me today. It was a delight to

591
00:46:48.519 --> 00:46:51.880
be with here to discuss these important concepts with you,

592
00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:54.519
and thanks for joining the podcast.

593
00:46:58.199 --> 00:47:02.320
Today's episode is over. Did ask good questions again? Didn't

594
00:47:02.320 --> 00:47:06.119
We don't miss out as we broadcast live every Wednesday,

595
00:47:06.199 --> 00:47:09.920
six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

596
00:47:10.119 --> 00:47:13.920
w fourcy dot com. Joined Nina Bellm. We're saying next

597
00:47:13.960 --> 00:47:19.159
week for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement, behavioral

598
00:47:19.199 --> 00:47:24.119
finance issues, health and wellness, and more. Until then, remember

599
00:47:24.280 --> 00:47:26.360
to ask good questions.