Oct. 22, 2025

Out of Your Own Way: Finding and Fulfilling Your True Calling

Out of Your Own Way: Finding and Fulfilling Your True Calling
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Season 1

Too many people spend their lives working without ever discovering their true calling. Certified coach and DISC expert Scott Maderer joins us to explore how to get out of your own way, reclaim your time, and align your work with what truly matters. Through powerful mindset shifts and real-world tools, Scott helps you see how to use your talents and treasures to live your dream—on purpose.

Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

Ask Good Questions Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions express in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We

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make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No

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liability explicit or implies shall be extended to W FOURCY

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Radio or it's employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments

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should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for

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choosing W FOURCY Radio.

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Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,

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six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

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W fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we

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will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,

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as well as a focus on health and wellness. Now,

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let's join your host, Anita bell Anderson, as together we

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start with Asking Good Questions.

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Hello, and welcome to the Ask Good Questions podcast. I

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am so happy that you're here with us today. My

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name is Benita bell Anderson, and we are going to

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have a fantastic topic today in talking about getting out

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of your own way and finding and fulfilling your true calling.

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We're going to get into that. So I'd like to

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invite my guest to the proverbial podcast stage. His name

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is Scott Matterer.

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Did I say that right?

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It's actually mad.

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So I want to.

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That's okay, You're not the first person that.

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So, uh, Scott.

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Scott is in Texas and I'm in Hawaii. As some

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of you may know, we're we're here for like another

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seven months. Our year in Hawaii is going fast. But

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let me tell you a little bit about Scott and

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then I'm going to have him expand just a tiny

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bit more on who he is. He is an expert

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in helping people transition from working to living their calling.

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So I'm going to be asking you that for Scott,

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so whatever that looks like for them.

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He speaks on helping people identify their calling, get out

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of their own way so they can really live it out,

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and how they can deal with their time. And these

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are three things He really gets into time, talent, and

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their treasures. So he talks on productivity and time management.

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He talks a lot of leadership and communication, business and

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personal money and finances. He's actually certified in disc personality

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and communication tools, which I may have you explain just

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exactly what that is. And he has been a working

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coach since twenty eleven, doing coaching full time since twenty seventeen,

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so he specializes in mindset and behavior change more than

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the tools that he uses. So, Scott, do you have

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anything you want to add to that about who you

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are and what you're bringing to this.

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The only things I'll add I am. I'm married. I

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have a beautiful wife, Carrie. She supports the business behind

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the scenes. She doesn't like to be in front of

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the camera or on the mic, but she likes to

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be at the back of the room, so to speak.

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That's her, that's her gifting and her thing. But she

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definitely supports me in the business as well. I have

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an adult son. He lives about three hours away from us.

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For some reason, he wanted to move up to Dallas

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and be closer to his girlfriend instead of closer to

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mom and dad. Oh come, yeah, I know, I don't

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get it, but yeah, exactly. So he's up there working

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and living and like I tell people, he he's actually

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managed to move out of the house and has it

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come back yet, So we'll come back.

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That's a win.

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So okay, so we're gonna to try to break this

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down because you know what's interesting when I found when uh,

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we're both members of this thing called pod match, and

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I look for people that can give like a little

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bit of a spin. You know, I've been a financial

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educator for a gazillion years and now with the podcast,

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I also do health and wellness.

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Well I found that's there seems to be a.

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Lot of overlap with how healthy you are and the

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money and how well you handle money, and but the

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whole mindset thing comes up a lot. And so what

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I'd like to start with is what, you know, this

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whole finding your calling idea, what does that living your

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calling or trying to find your true calling? What does

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that really mean to you? And how is it different

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from just you know, having a career.

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Yeah, let's back up a step. So there's actually two

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words that we use a lot interchangeably, but they need

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completely different things, and we've sort of lost track of that,

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and that the word career and the word vocation. We

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treat them as if they mean the same thing. They don't.

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So let's go back to the root word. Right, What

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does the word career come from? It actually comes from

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a word in Latin that means kart. So a career

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is a cart. It's something that gets you from point

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A to point B carrying something. It's a mode of transportation, right, okay.

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Vocation comes from the same root word in Greek as vocalius,

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which means to be spoken to, vocalization, vocal You know,

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we hear those words and vocation. There's a reason those

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words sound alike because they all really come from the

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same word. Well, by definition, if you're being spoken to,

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that means that there's a speaker, right that The only

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way to be spoken to is someone's talking. So vocation

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is really more about what you are called. We use

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the word calling to do it. It means that some

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higher power. Now for me, that's God, and I'm a

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Christian background, but I honestly don't care if you believe

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in that or not. The idea of vocation is that

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something outside of you, something bigger than you, is calling

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you to go in a certain direction or do a

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certain thing. So when you think about that, that means

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our vocation is actually bigger than just our career. Our

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career is one place our vocation may show up. But

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your vocation, your calling, your your purpose, your direction that

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you're being called to that should show up in well,

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how I'm a dad to my son, how my husband

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to my wife, how I'm a member of a church,

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how I'm a member of a board for a nonprofit,

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as well as what I do in my career. So

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vocation supersedes or is bigger than career when you look

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at it that way and you really step back and

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go to the definition of it, which means by the

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way that if you're doing something right now and you're like,

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this really isn't my thing, you know, I'm just having

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to do it. Sometimes you do have to do a

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career for a while to help discover and uncover where

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you're calling shows up. It's okay to be uncomfortable in

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something you're doing. That's actually probably part of the process

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a lot of times.

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Right well, I think in you, I mean one of

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the things I have begun to have some success with

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this podcast, which surprise the.

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Heck out of me.

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But one thing I didn't expect when I started the podcast.

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I didn't expect that I was going to enjoy it

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so much and interviewing people and how much I learn

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in the process. But like for you, the business, this

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thing that you're doing. The thing that we're talking about

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today is a callinggue for you.

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Yeah, yeah, it was even there before I was a coach.

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So what I mean by that is, for I spent

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sixteen years as a school teacher, I spent eleven years

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in the corporate world. Looking back and reflecting on it now,

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I see the way that I showed up as a

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teacher is related to the way I show up as

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a coach. Guess what. It was also related to the

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way I showed up in corporate leadership. You know. Yeah,

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both were good and ill. There were things about the

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way I led as a leader in an executive position.

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I had a team of one hundred and eighty people,

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lots of client work, on a plane all the time,

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flying around the country. But yeah, but how I showed

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up was related to for me, the same thing now

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that happens in the way I show up as a coach,

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and that I'm very much. You know, I'm socratic. I

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tend to ask a lot of questions. I tend to

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be more focused in lifting other people up than myself.

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That's how I was as a teacher too. You know,

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my mom's thing is, Scott, you've been a coach since

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you were eight. You just didn't call it that, you know,

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It's like, yeah, exactly, I was. I was always the

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guy in high school that I was always in the

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friend zone because I was the guy that all the

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girls wanted to ask advice about their boyfriend. You know,

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it was stinky whenever I was in high school. As

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an adult male, now it served me. Well. You know,

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my current wife will go, yeah, that's why I married you,

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but in high school at sake. But because again, it's

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really authentic to how you show up in the world.

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That's really what calling means. And it's, by the way,

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why we get stuck so often and feel uncomfortable so

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often is because when we're showing up one way and

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part of our life and then being forced to show

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up a completely different way and another part of our

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life where out of alignment. That's when we got more

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to disstonance. You know, that's when our brain starts going, wait,

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you know, one of these nintings is not like the other.

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You can tell we both watched Sesame Street.

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I was going to say, everyone of a certain age

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just now singing that song, so.

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Well, I'm sure you'll you'll agree with me. That I

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feel like there's some people that feel stuck and just working.

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So where would be the first place that they should

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start with trying to uncover you know, if they can

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feel that cognitive dissonance and go this is not it,

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where would they start to start trying to figure out

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where they go from here?

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So I kind of want to step and you give

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a two part exercise, and this is literally something you

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can do. Got this down while you're listening. You can

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act do this in the next couple of days. So

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the first half is to look backwards. And the reason

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why I want to look backwards is we want to

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look at the pieces that have already presented to us,

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what's already shown up in our life, because a lot

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of times there's clues there. So this is a pretty

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simple activity. Take a sheet of paper. For those of

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us of more mature years, I'll put it that way.

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We might need a couple of sheets of paper. But

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take a sheet of paper or two, divide it into

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three columns left hand, middle, right hand side, down the

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left hand side. Just start brainstorming everything you've done in

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your life. Let me be clear, I didn't say every

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job you've had, because that's usually where the first place

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people go. You could be broader than that. You can

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think about relationships, you can think about volunteering, you can

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think about all the different activities that you've done. Again,

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like I said, some of us have a more advanced age.

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We'll need a couple of sheets of paper or for

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the bull. Down the middle column, for each of those activities,

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write down one or more things that you enjoyed about

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that activity. Things that gave you joy, things that fed

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you energy, things that you love, things that you know

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when you did them, you were like this, clicks, I

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like this. And again, you can be as broad or

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as deep as you want. And then down the last column,

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write something about that activity that didn't give you energy,

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something that didn't feed your soul, something that took away joy.

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Those sorts of things, and I hesitate to use the

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word hate, because that's a strong word, but the things

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that pulled you away right begin to breakthrough by the way.

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I don't care what the activity was, or what the

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job was, or what the thing you put down. You

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gotta find at least one thing to put in each

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of those columns, okay, because there is nothing out there

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that is perfect, and there is nothing out there that

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is completely imperfect. You always get information and there's always

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some little piece that it's like, yeah, I hated everything

227
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about this, but man, when I got to do that,

228
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that felt good. Okay, great, put that one thing down.

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There's always something that you can put down in these columns.

230
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So just begin to brainstorm and then it's a lot

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of times, by the way, this is a great activity

232
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to do over several days, Like you know, sit down

233
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and work on a little bit and then let the

234
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back of your mind work, and then pull it back

235
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out and write some more things down.

236
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At three o'clock in the morning.

237
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You'll think that use this as a journaling activity, use

238
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this as a reflection activity. By the way, I actually

239
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have a lot of folks that say this is really

240
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fun to do because they get a real bit. You know,

241
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we never think about all the stuff that we do

242
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in our life. But there's tons, right, there's millions of things.

243
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Even a you know, twenty two year old like my son,

244
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he's done this activity and he ended up with like

245
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two and a half pages worth of stuff. But he's

246
00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:55.360
looking at it going I never would have thought there

247
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was this much. It's like, yeah, you know, we do

248
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a lot in our life. Put that down. So then

249
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youre going to look at this and start looking for patterns.

250
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What shows up over and over again and the love column,

251
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what shows up over and over again in the not

252
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so love column. You know, what are the patterns that

253
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keep showing up. You may use different words to describe them,

254
00:14:16.919 --> 00:14:20.720
but you'll start noticing that there's certain activities that kind

255
00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:23.000
of show up in different ways, but they keep showing

256
00:14:23.080 --> 00:14:25.799
up over and over again. That gave you energy, and

257
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the same thing for things that took away took energy

258
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away from you. So this is the information you already have.

259
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And again, I don't care if you're fourteen, forty four

260
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or ninety four. You got some level of history for

261
00:14:40.279 --> 00:14:43.559
what you've done already that you can draw from. So

262
00:14:43.639 --> 00:14:46.639
that's looking backwards, that's looking for the building blocks. That's

263
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looking for the information that already exists. But you mentioned

264
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we need to transition, we need to figure out where

265
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we're going, and going is a forward looking So the

266
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second half of the activity is to do a forward

267
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looking activity to begin to project yourself into the future.

268
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So here's how I do it. I mentioned earlier I

269
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was in the corporate world. I used to be on

270
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planes all the time. So I'm gonna sit this in

271
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an airport kind of in honor of that portion of

272
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my life where it's been a lot of time in airports.

273
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So imagine for a minute, you've been on a trip.

274
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I don't care where it is. This is five years

275
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from today, So it's five years in the future. Those

276
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of you listening right now, when if they're hearing this

277
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in those earbuds, this is something that you can begin

278
00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:31.240
to imagine and picture. Imagine it's five years in the future.

279
00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:33.440
You've been on a trip, and you know how a

280
00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:35.279
lot of times when you're flying back from a trip,

281
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you have that in between airport. You know, you fly

282
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from one airport, you land, and then you change planes,

283
00:15:40.159 --> 00:15:41.639
and then you fly the rest of the way home.

284
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And as you're walking through that in between airport, you

285
00:15:44.919 --> 00:15:47.759
get up to your gate and you look up and

286
00:15:47.879 --> 00:15:52.879
above the gate it has those dreaded words flight delayed.

287
00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:55.399
So you wait for a minute to talk to the

288
00:15:55.440 --> 00:15:57.879
person behind the counter and you're like, flight's delayed. How

289
00:15:57.879 --> 00:16:00.480
long is the flight delayed? They go to tell you this,

290
00:16:00.519 --> 00:16:03.840
but it's like four hours. You're like, oh great, So

291
00:16:03.879 --> 00:16:05.679
you do what anyone does when they're stuck in that

292
00:16:05.759 --> 00:16:09.840
kind of situation. In between, you go find a restaurant

293
00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:12.360
or a bar, depending on your particular flavor of poison

294
00:16:12.440 --> 00:16:14.639
in the time of day, to go hang out for

295
00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:16.879
a little while. So as you're walking in, I'm gonna

296
00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:19.320
send it in a restaurant. I'm a teetotaler. I don't drink,

297
00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:21.519
so child of an alcoholic, so I choose not to drink.

298
00:16:21.559 --> 00:16:24.279
So I'm gonna set it in an airport. And walking

299
00:16:24.279 --> 00:16:27.399
into this restaurant there in the airport, and as you're

300
00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:31.080
walking in, remember five years from today. Across the restaurant,

301
00:16:31.080 --> 00:16:34.919
you hear a voice, Hey, bdita, how are you doing?

302
00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:37.759
And you're like, I haven't heard this voice in a while.

303
00:16:37.960 --> 00:16:40.279
And somebody keeps walking up. It's a friend of yours,

304
00:16:40.840 --> 00:16:43.759
somebody you knew fairly well, but they moved away. You

305
00:16:43.799 --> 00:16:46.759
moved away, y'all got busy. You lost track. You're in

306
00:16:46.759 --> 00:16:49.080
Hawaii for a year, you know, whatever it is, you

307
00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:53.840
lost track of each other. And you, oh, yeah, me too,

308
00:16:54.440 --> 00:16:57.559
you know. So you're walking into a strange place and

309
00:16:57.559 --> 00:17:00.720
so it's like, I haven't seen you since high school here,

310
00:17:01.240 --> 00:17:03.679
So what you have that moment and they're like, how

311
00:17:03.720 --> 00:17:06.279
long are you here? You're like, I'm here for four

312
00:17:06.279 --> 00:17:08.799
hours now. Unfortunately, they're like, well, I'm here for a

313
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few hours. Let's grab a table and catch up. You

314
00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:14.119
haven't talked to this friend for four or five years,

315
00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:16.240
five years in the future. You sit down at that

316
00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:19.480
corner table. Your friend looks at you and goes, man,

317
00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:23.400
you look great. How have things been? And you go,

318
00:17:23.519 --> 00:17:26.839
you know what, this has been the best five years

319
00:17:26.839 --> 00:17:31.359
of my life. Because that's your job. Tell me what

320
00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:34.359
comes after the word, Because what is showing up in

321
00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:37.119
your career, what is showing up in your relationships, what's

322
00:17:37.160 --> 00:17:40.000
showing up in your finances, what's showing up in your health,

323
00:17:40.480 --> 00:17:43.880
what's showing up in your entertainment, what's showing up in

324
00:17:44.039 --> 00:17:47.119
all of the different components of your life. That would

325
00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:51.640
make you honestly say to somebody that's a dear friend

326
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:54.240
of yours, somebody you're never going to lie to, you

327
00:17:54.240 --> 00:17:56.480
know what, this has been the best five years of

328
00:17:56.480 --> 00:17:59.839
my life. And here's why this is happening, and this

329
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:02.359
that's happening. And you know what's interesting. I've never had

330
00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:05.000
anyone sit down and write something like I won ten

331
00:18:05.079 --> 00:18:07.839
million dollars in the lottery. That's not what makes us,

332
00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:13.319
you know, value the last five years. It's other things.

333
00:18:13.440 --> 00:18:16.079
It's how we show up in the world. So between

334
00:18:16.119 --> 00:18:18.480
these two activities, what you end up with is a

335
00:18:18.519 --> 00:18:21.680
list of kind of building blocks and information and a

336
00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:24.160
little bit of an inkling of a roadmap of the

337
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:28.480
direction you need to head. And then step back and go, Okay,

338
00:18:28.680 --> 00:18:32.839
what is the next small action that I can take

339
00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:36.119
that would begin to move me in the direction of

340
00:18:36.119 --> 00:18:39.200
that five year plan? Yepe, based on what I've already got,

341
00:18:39.359 --> 00:18:42.720
what's the littlest, tiniest action I could take? And then

342
00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:43.400
go take it?

343
00:18:43.839 --> 00:18:44.079
You know.

344
00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:47.599
And again that's where you take theory and begin to

345
00:18:47.599 --> 00:18:49.079
put it into activity and action.

346
00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:53.839
Well, do you believe that everyone has a calling or

347
00:18:54.920 --> 00:18:58.480
or do you think that it just sometimes just morse

348
00:18:58.559 --> 00:19:02.960
because of experience or growth or you know? But I mean,

349
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:07.200
I you know, in me thinking about that, I think

350
00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:13.440
everyone has God given talents and things, and so maybe

351
00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:19.200
in that way we all have a calling. But do

352
00:19:19.240 --> 00:19:25.200
you think that that people will if they're attuned to

353
00:19:25.240 --> 00:19:28.759
this or they can find it, or do you think it's.

354
00:19:28.680 --> 00:19:29.640
Sometimes just.

355
00:19:31.240 --> 00:19:34.559
Fritters away because people never pay attention. I think there's

356
00:19:34.599 --> 00:19:36.880
a I mean, I think what I want to ask

357
00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:42.680
you is we get distracted, right, we get so distracted

358
00:19:42.920 --> 00:19:48.480
that I think that people don't you know, Like when

359
00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:50.839
I was being asked what do you want to call

360
00:19:50.920 --> 00:19:56.160
this podcast? I knew in my life that all of

361
00:19:56.200 --> 00:19:58.960
the things that I had, all the mistakes i'd made,

362
00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:01.160
had been because I hadn't asked.

363
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:01.759
The right questions.

364
00:20:01.799 --> 00:20:04.119
And so I knew that I wanted the name of

365
00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:06.319
my podcast to be asked questions.

366
00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:07.359
Yep.

367
00:20:07.720 --> 00:20:10.279
So do you think that people get distracted so they

368
00:20:10.319 --> 00:20:11.079
never get here?

369
00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:14.240
So I think it's a both and not an either or.

370
00:20:14.759 --> 00:20:16.640
So here's what I mean by that. A lot of

371
00:20:16.640 --> 00:20:18.359
times we want to put things into box. You know,

372
00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:22.680
everyone has a calling or no, you know, and and

373
00:20:22.759 --> 00:20:26.880
the answer is yes to both of that. In that

374
00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:30.279
I think everyone has a calling, but you're what you're

375
00:20:30.319 --> 00:20:33.400
asking is what happens for us to uncover it?

376
00:20:34.119 --> 00:20:36.279
And the truly yeah, it's like.

377
00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:40.200
It's not a destination, so we think of calling it,

378
00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:45.000
We're done, we've found it, it's here. It's not like that.

379
00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:49.160
It's the journey. The journey is the calling. So yes,

380
00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:52.559
your calling can shift and change and you can uncover

381
00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:56.200
it more authentically and deeper. And you know, I'm living

382
00:20:56.240 --> 00:21:00.640
my calling now in a different way i was when

383
00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:02.960
I was a teacher, and I would argue in a

384
00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:05.880
way that feels more authentic, it feels like a better fit.

385
00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:10.839
It's it's better connected all of those cognitive distance. But

386
00:21:11.160 --> 00:21:13.640
by the same copain, I'm open to the idea that

387
00:21:13.720 --> 00:21:17.440
I may discover some things over the next year, five years,

388
00:21:17.480 --> 00:21:21.839
ten years, however long I'm kicking around and sucking win.

389
00:21:22.440 --> 00:21:25.839
You know that things that make me go huh, that's

390
00:21:25.880 --> 00:21:28.240
an even better fit. I need to add more of

391
00:21:28.279 --> 00:21:32.960
that into my life. So it's it's not evolving, yeah,

392
00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:34.759
it's evolving all the time. It's growing.

393
00:21:35.519 --> 00:21:37.359
Yeah, So I mean that.

394
00:21:37.640 --> 00:21:39.839
I mean one of the things I was thinking about

395
00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:44.920
was like fleeting passions, And sometimes I've characterized myself as

396
00:21:44.960 --> 00:21:49.279
being subject to the bright, shiny objects. I've been drawn

397
00:21:49.319 --> 00:21:51.559
to this and drawn to that, and I've had interest

398
00:21:51.599 --> 00:21:55.640
in this and that. They're not really passions or callings

399
00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:59.839
but their interests. But I think that maybe maybe the

400
00:22:00.279 --> 00:22:04.839
those passionate things that we are interested in can lead

401
00:22:05.920 --> 00:22:06.720
to callings.

402
00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:10.279
They can't. So there's for those of you that are

403
00:22:10.279 --> 00:22:13.039
listening and not watching There's a squirrel on the shift

404
00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:15.839
a shelf behind me, right over my shoulder, there's a squirrel.

405
00:22:16.079 --> 00:22:17.680
And there's a reason I have a squirrel on a

406
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:20.039
shelf is because when I'm talking.

407
00:22:19.799 --> 00:22:22.640
About you like shiny options.

408
00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:25.519
We all do. Everyone does. But the question you need

409
00:22:25.559 --> 00:22:29.640
to ask is is it a squirrel or is it

410
00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:33.559
an opportunity? Okay, So going back to that five year

411
00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:38.079
plan activity that we did earlier, what you're looking at is, hey,

412
00:22:38.119 --> 00:22:43.160
this thing is coming along. Is it something that seems

413
00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:46.559
like it might move me in that direction? Not going

414
00:22:46.599 --> 00:22:48.799
to get me all the way there, but by doing

415
00:22:48.839 --> 00:22:51.559
this I might get a little bit more information, get

416
00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:54.079
a little bit more feedback, get a little bit more data,

417
00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:56.759
get a little bit more of an opportunity. Whatever it

418
00:22:56.839 --> 00:22:59.200
is that kind of moves me in that direction at

419
00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:02.440
least a little bit. Okay, that's clearly an opportunity. If

420
00:23:02.480 --> 00:23:04.920
it the answer to that is yes. If the answer

421
00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:07.599
is no, well now I need to go a little deeper,

422
00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:10.240
you know. Now I need to start thinking how much

423
00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:12.240
time is it going to take, how much energy is

424
00:23:12.279 --> 00:23:13.960
it going to take? What is it going to pull

425
00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:15.039
me away from?

426
00:23:15.359 --> 00:23:15.440
What?

427
00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:17.119
Am I gonna have to say? No? To to be

428
00:23:17.119 --> 00:23:19.200
able to say yes to this thing, because guess what

429
00:23:19.960 --> 00:23:23.920
yes means a no? You know, every year there's always

430
00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:26.160
an opportunity cost. I don't care if it's time, I

431
00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:28.240
don't care, if it's money, I don't care if it's health.

432
00:23:28.880 --> 00:23:31.079
All of our life has opportunity costs. When we say

433
00:23:31.160 --> 00:23:34.000
yes to one thing, we're automatically saying no to something else.

434
00:23:34.519 --> 00:23:36.920
And so when you start realizing that, you can look

435
00:23:36.920 --> 00:23:38.680
at it and go a little deeper and go what

436
00:23:38.759 --> 00:23:40.279
am I going to have to say no to to

437
00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:42.799
say yes to this? And if what I'm saying no

438
00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:45.160
to is things that would move me in that direction,

439
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:48.319
to say yes to something that's not going to move

440
00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:51.119
me in that direction, it's probably a squirrel. It's not

441
00:23:51.240 --> 00:23:53.279
really an opportunity. It's a squirrel.

442
00:23:54.559 --> 00:23:56.880
Well, what do you think of some do you think

443
00:23:56.920 --> 00:24:01.359
people sometimes have misconceptions or maybe are arguing with you

444
00:24:01.559 --> 00:24:05.519
right now, you know, saying you know, but I just

445
00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:09.079
there's got to be some misconceptions about finding your true calling.

446
00:24:10.079 --> 00:24:12.400
Well, one of them, I think is that what we

447
00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:14.680
talked about at the very beginning. I think so many

448
00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:18.640
people think they're calling and their career or synonymous that

449
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:22.200
that what I get paid to do has to be

450
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:25.839
the part of my life that is one hundred percent

451
00:24:25.880 --> 00:24:29.039
my calling. And it's like that's false on a million

452
00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:29.960
different levels.

453
00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:30.279
You know.

454
00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:33.160
First off, I know people that go do something with

455
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:36.519
their career that only overlaps with they're calling a teeny

456
00:24:36.519 --> 00:24:40.400
tiny amount, but they use that to fund their ability

457
00:24:40.440 --> 00:24:43.119
to go over here and do something that's one hundred

458
00:24:43.160 --> 00:24:45.799
percent alignment with their calling. And so if you think

459
00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:49.319
about it, it's still showing up big time, you know,

460
00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:52.640
in their life, but they're able to do compartmentalize and go,

461
00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:55.119
I'm going to do something over here that's not a

462
00:24:55.160 --> 00:24:58.440
perfect alignment. It's still not like it's completely out of alignment,

463
00:24:58.799 --> 00:25:01.480
but it's not perfect so that I can go over

464
00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:04.359
here and express this in a much more authentic way.

465
00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:08.440
So it's it's that confusion that's the biggest misconception I see,

466
00:25:08.519 --> 00:25:11.920
is this confusion that every single part of your life

467
00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:15.200
has to be one hundred percent aligned with your calling

468
00:25:15.559 --> 00:25:18.480
for you to find authenticity and happiness. And it's like,

469
00:25:19.279 --> 00:25:22.519
I don't know anybody. I've yet to know. Maybe there's

470
00:25:22.519 --> 00:25:24.799
someone out there, but I haven't met them yet, you know,

471
00:25:25.759 --> 00:25:28.319
because guess what, the laundry still has to get done.

472
00:25:29.079 --> 00:25:32.279
You know, there's always something, there's some part of your life.

473
00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:34.920
And I know there's some people out there that love

474
00:25:34.960 --> 00:25:36.880
doing laundry. But the point is there's some part of

475
00:25:36.920 --> 00:25:39.319
your life that you kind of go I just kind

476
00:25:39.359 --> 00:25:41.680
of have to do this, you know, I just have to.

477
00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:44.759
It's part of being alive. And you're never going to

478
00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:47.880
get perfect alignment. So stop looking for it. Stop thinking

479
00:25:47.920 --> 00:25:51.039
that that's the goal. That's not the goal. The goal

480
00:25:51.119 --> 00:25:53.319
is simply to be a little bit more aligned today

481
00:25:53.359 --> 00:25:54.519
than you were yesterday.

482
00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:57.799
Right, Well, do you think that sometimes people put up

483
00:25:58.480 --> 00:26:02.200
internal barriers from living their calling?

484
00:26:03.880 --> 00:26:05.160
Only if they're human.

485
00:26:05.480 --> 00:26:07.880
That would be yeah, that would be getting out of

486
00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:09.920
your own way, in minding.

487
00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:11.119
Out of your own head and getting out of your

488
00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:16.640
own way. The biggest and again the biggest internal barrier

489
00:26:16.680 --> 00:26:20.599
that I've seen just from personal and you know, I've

490
00:26:20.640 --> 00:26:22.599
worked with over a thousand clients in this area, so

491
00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:25.759
it's not just based on one or two things, is

492
00:26:25.839 --> 00:26:29.759
that belief that somehow we have to know all of

493
00:26:29.799 --> 00:26:32.279
the process and the end point. You know, we have

494
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:36.319
to know everything that's going to happen. You'll never even

495
00:26:36.359 --> 00:26:39.880
get started. You know, I have to know everything, and

496
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:43.000
then I'll get started and it's like, guess what. Number one,

497
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:46.000
you're never going to know everything. And number two, what

498
00:26:46.519 --> 00:26:49.000
earlier when I said have that five year plan, let

499
00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:50.920
me give you a hint. You're not going to arrive

500
00:26:51.000 --> 00:26:53.160
at the destination and the picture that you wrote down,

501
00:26:54.039 --> 00:26:56.839
it's not going to be that picture. It will be different.

502
00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:00.480
That doesn't mean it will be worse, though, because that's

503
00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:03.119
the again, the misconception is people will go, oh, well,

504
00:27:03.119 --> 00:27:05.000
if it doesn't work out exactly the way I thought,

505
00:27:05.039 --> 00:27:07.839
then it's bad. It's like, no, that's not what that

506
00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:10.680
means at all. A lot of times you'll uncover a

507
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:16.039
destination that's ten times better than what you thought, and

508
00:27:16.039 --> 00:27:18.640
and you have to be open to that. And so

509
00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:21.519
all too often we close ourselves off to all of

510
00:27:21.559 --> 00:27:25.640
the great things because we're satisfied with the good things.

511
00:27:26.079 --> 00:27:28.720
And it's like no, no, no, no. Good can destroy great,

512
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:34.000
actually more than bad can destroy great. It's easy content.

513
00:27:34.920 --> 00:27:40.559
You know I think that people, well, I you don't

514
00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:43.160
like it. For me, I can remember that I had

515
00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:45.960
the uh what do they call that? When when you

516
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:47.000
say I'm not good enough?

517
00:27:47.880 --> 00:27:48.160
Yeah?

518
00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:54.559
You know, yeah, the impost yes, And I think mindset

519
00:27:54.640 --> 00:27:56.519
can play into self sabotage.

520
00:27:56.799 --> 00:28:00.319
Absolutely, it's it's all mindset, you know. Again, and I

521
00:28:00.359 --> 00:28:03.160
talk to people about time and money, right, you took

522
00:28:03.160 --> 00:28:06.200
to our earlier said time, talent and treasures. Here's the trick.

523
00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:10.720
People think the problem is time or money. It's not

524
00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:15.200
the problem. The problem is always talent because it's not

525
00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:20.319
time or money. Those are just finite resources. You have

526
00:28:20.400 --> 00:28:22.799
a certain amount of time, you have a certain amount

527
00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:26.559
of money. You know, what matters is how you relate

528
00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:30.480
to them, how you use them, how you think about them,

529
00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:33.119
the beliefs you have about them. It all comes down

530
00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:36.880
to belief and behavior. So when you look at a

531
00:28:36.920 --> 00:28:41.480
budget of money and you write numbers down, those numbers

532
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:45.640
don't really matter. What matters is the beliefs and behaviors

533
00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:50.200
that are reflected in those numbers, right, And that's mindset,

534
00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:53.759
That's what that is. So you know, I know people

535
00:28:53.799 --> 00:28:58.599
that they don't believe they deserve more. Well, guess what,

536
00:28:58.839 --> 00:29:02.039
You're never going to get it, you know. And I

537
00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:04.920
know other people that think, you know, it's no longer

538
00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:08.319
about deserving more, it's they think the world is obligated

539
00:29:08.359 --> 00:29:10.880
to give them more. They're not going to get it either,

540
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:14.119
you know, because both of those are false outlooks how

541
00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:16.799
you relate to the world. And so it's when you

542
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:22.480
get the mindset right, that's when you stop self sabotaging,

543
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.680
because you know, fear of failure self sabotage. Fear of

544
00:29:25.720 --> 00:29:30.119
success also self sabotage. Yeah, it could be either end

545
00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:32.039
of the extreme, because I think a lot of times

546
00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:34.720
we just focus on the fear of failure part. Right.

547
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:38.480
I actually have seen just as many people messed up

548
00:29:38.519 --> 00:29:40.440
by fear of success as by fear of.

549
00:29:42.039 --> 00:29:45.119
Right. Yeah, I mean you're making me think of I

550
00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:47.400
It's like what you know, It's like why not me?

551
00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:47.640
You know?

552
00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:51.039
But like, whoa what if I'm successful doing this, then

553
00:29:51.079 --> 00:29:52.000
I have to show up?

554
00:29:52.359 --> 00:29:53.160
What's that going to mean?

555
00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:56.519
Yeah, what's that going to mean? Oh no, mister Bill.

556
00:29:57.359 --> 00:29:59.319
So what I'm what I.

557
00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:01.400
Want to ask you is can you think of a

558
00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:03.880
time when you had to get out of your own way?

559
00:30:05.519 --> 00:30:10.880
Absolutely? So one I'll use kind of one example that's

560
00:30:10.920 --> 00:30:16.039
probably the most dramatic one in my life. But I've

561
00:30:16.079 --> 00:30:18.359
got this is one of those. We could talk for

562
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:21.599
the rest of the hour and keep going because that's

563
00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:24.079
like I asked you somebody, how about time that you

564
00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:24.759
screwed up?

565
00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:28.359
Scott, I already know that I got to have you

566
00:30:28.440 --> 00:30:30.279
on another time to continue this.

567
00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:34.640
Well, that's fantastic. But what uh many years ago, back

568
00:30:34.680 --> 00:30:37.359
in and early kind of when I was in the

569
00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:40.240
transition between teaching and corporate. So I was kind of

570
00:30:40.279 --> 00:30:42.240
at the end of my teaching career. I was beginning

571
00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:45.279
to burn out on that I hadn't yet transitioned to

572
00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:48.359
the corporate. My wife and I were deeply in debt

573
00:30:49.559 --> 00:30:53.039
and kind of living like typical Americans spend more than

574
00:30:53.079 --> 00:30:54.960
you make and do all of these sorts of things.

575
00:30:55.559 --> 00:30:57.839
We were actually in debt almost twice what I made

576
00:30:57.880 --> 00:31:00.880
in a year, and so we were about sixty eight

577
00:31:00.920 --> 00:31:02.960
thousand dollars in debt. I made a little less than

578
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:05.279
forty thousand dollars a year, you know that kind of thing.

579
00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:09.039
Actually, with all of the different clients i've you know,

580
00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:14.640
when I do take of information, this is not that uncommon, not.

581
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:18.480
As weird as it sounds like. But but and I

582
00:31:18.559 --> 00:31:22.160
actually had become suicidal because of finances so a lot.

583
00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:24.400
It's actually the number one cause of male suicide is

584
00:31:24.440 --> 00:31:27.839
financial stress and financial worries because a lot of men,

585
00:31:28.200 --> 00:31:31.720
myself included, look at ourselves as you know, we're the provider,

586
00:31:31.799 --> 00:31:33.920
We're the protector. You know, it's a lot of our

587
00:31:33.960 --> 00:31:37.319
self worth gets tied up in how well we provide

588
00:31:37.319 --> 00:31:39.480
for our family. And I was feeling like I was

589
00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:42.240
doing a terrible job. My wife would argue with me

590
00:31:42.319 --> 00:31:45.200
and tell me I wasn't, but I felt like I was.

591
00:31:45.680 --> 00:31:48.640
And I began to listen to talk radio. I drove

592
00:31:48.680 --> 00:31:51.799
home down this long, windy road and I would listen

593
00:31:51.839 --> 00:31:55.319
to talk radio to keep myself awake while I was

594
00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:58.680
thinking about pretending like I fell asleep and driving off

595
00:31:58.720 --> 00:32:02.799
the road to commit suicide. Yes, I know that's ironic

596
00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:05.319
that I was listening to radio to keep myself awake

597
00:32:05.400 --> 00:32:08.279
so that I could pretend to fall asleep, but that

598
00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:11.440
was literally what was going through my mind. And they

599
00:32:11.519 --> 00:32:13.519
changed the line up on the radio, and I kind

600
00:32:13.559 --> 00:32:18.240
of began to hear the change from a I can't

601
00:32:18.240 --> 00:32:20.240
remember who it was, a Bill o'reigley, I think, or

602
00:32:20.279 --> 00:32:22.920
something that I would listen to. And again I really

603
00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:24.799
didn't care what was on. It was really just hearing

604
00:32:24.839 --> 00:32:28.519
somebody talk. They changed it to Dave Ramsey Show, and

605
00:32:28.559 --> 00:32:30.960
so I start hearing this Dave Ramsey show. He's talking

606
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:33.759
about getting out of debt. He's talking about all this

607
00:32:33.839 --> 00:32:36.920
stuffy and they have people come on the show and

608
00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:40.400
start talking about being debt free. And I actually heard

609
00:32:40.400 --> 00:32:43.279
a story from a couple that was a lot like

610
00:32:43.960 --> 00:32:46.680
my wife and I wasn't exactly the same, but there

611
00:32:46.759 --> 00:32:51.279
was enough overlap. And I'm yelling at the radio. I'm

612
00:32:51.480 --> 00:32:55.279
arguing with the radio about how stupid this is, you know,

613
00:32:55.400 --> 00:32:57.319
And then I hear this story that's kind of like,

614
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:01.759
huh wait, that's actually kind of close to us, and

615
00:33:01.799 --> 00:33:05.799
they did it. Maybe there's something to this, and so

616
00:33:05.960 --> 00:33:08.319
I began to hear it a little differently. So I

617
00:33:08.359 --> 00:33:12.440
went that weekend and I one of the things he

618
00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:14.640
said is he had come clean with his wife and

619
00:33:14.680 --> 00:33:18.200
told her what he was feeling. This is the getting

620
00:33:18.200 --> 00:33:19.240
out of my own way part.

621
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:20.200
You know.

622
00:33:20.680 --> 00:33:23.920
Just guess what. I have a little bit of ego

623
00:33:24.440 --> 00:33:27.160
and a little bit of pride, you know, I know,

624
00:33:27.400 --> 00:33:30.240
I know it's shocking. I can't see any of that.

625
00:33:30.680 --> 00:33:33.119
And I was going to protect my wife, and I

626
00:33:33.119 --> 00:33:35.160
had sheltered her from all of this. My wife's a

627
00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:36.759
smart lady. She knew everything that was.

628
00:33:36.839 --> 00:33:37.839
You're going to be a man.

629
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:42.440
Yeah, exactly. All of that stuff is going on in

630
00:33:42.480 --> 00:33:45.200
my belief system and the way I was raised and

631
00:33:45.359 --> 00:33:47.720
all of these things. And I went, I sat down

632
00:33:47.759 --> 00:33:49.240
with my wife. I said, we need to talk. And

633
00:33:49.319 --> 00:33:51.359
we went and got in a private place and talked

634
00:33:51.359 --> 00:33:53.160
that weekend and I said, you know, this is what's

635
00:33:53.160 --> 00:33:55.400
going on. This is how much debt we have. She's like, yeah,

636
00:33:55.400 --> 00:33:58.200
I know. And because again she's a smart lady, she

637
00:33:58.240 --> 00:34:00.480
knew what was going on. Even though I was protect her,

638
00:34:00.839 --> 00:34:03.119
she was protecting me by not adding to my stress.

639
00:34:03.160 --> 00:34:05.319
I'm protecting her by not adding to her stress, which

640
00:34:05.359 --> 00:34:07.640
basically meant we weren't talking to each other, which was

641
00:34:07.680 --> 00:34:10.280
the worst thing we could have done. So we agreed.

642
00:34:10.280 --> 00:34:12.599
We decided, hey, we're going to do something completely different.

643
00:34:12.599 --> 00:34:15.440
We're going to change how we're living. We're going to

644
00:34:15.480 --> 00:34:18.559
change what we're doing. And that's when we kind of

645
00:34:18.599 --> 00:34:20.960
came together and I was able to get out of

646
00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:22.840
my own way, give up a lot of the pride

647
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:24.679
and a lot of that. That's also when I returned

648
00:34:24.679 --> 00:34:28.079
to faith, and a lot of things changed in my life,

649
00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:30.239
and all of these dominoes kind of fell in the

650
00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:36.159
same direction. Change careers, change this, change that, and in

651
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:38.360
two years eleven months. I'm not allowed to round that

652
00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:41.079
up to three years because my wife gets mad if

653
00:34:41.079 --> 00:34:42.599
I round it up to three years. So it's two

654
00:34:42.679 --> 00:34:45.559
years eleven months. We ended up paying off seventy eight

655
00:34:45.639 --> 00:34:48.639
tho eight hundred and fifty four dollars and forty two cents,

656
00:34:48.679 --> 00:34:50.159
not that I know it to the penny, but I

657
00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:53.480
know it to the penny. For anyone who's listening carefully,

658
00:34:53.519 --> 00:34:55.719
you'll notice that that number is bigger than the number

659
00:34:55.760 --> 00:34:58.480
I said at the beginning. Yeah, because in the middle

660
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:03.440
of that, I changed careers. I had emergency surgery. I

661
00:35:03.480 --> 00:35:06.559
actually had a collapse lung in December, and then it

662
00:35:06.599 --> 00:35:09.119
had to go back in January to have surgery because

663
00:35:09.119 --> 00:35:12.760
the lung collapsed again. Anyone who knows how insurance works.

664
00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:16.119
That means I got to pay everything twice, you know,

665
00:35:16.440 --> 00:35:18.719
because one was in December and one was in January.

666
00:35:18.920 --> 00:35:21.199
So we ended up adding more to our debt before

667
00:35:21.199 --> 00:35:24.840
we got out of debt and then basically work to

668
00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:27.440
do that. Average income during that time was fifty five

669
00:35:27.519 --> 00:35:30.320
thousand dollars. And that's also where coaching came from, because

670
00:35:30.320 --> 00:35:32.400
all of a sudden, people started showing up and going,

671
00:35:33.320 --> 00:35:35.840
y'all are weird? Do you think you could help us

672
00:35:35.880 --> 00:35:38.960
be weird? And it's like, well, sure, we could help you.

673
00:35:39.159 --> 00:35:42.559
And I started helping people versus the ministry.

674
00:35:42.639 --> 00:35:46.039
And then was that the twenty eleven.

675
00:35:46.119 --> 00:35:49.719
That was back in twenty eleven, Yeah, okay, yeah, so

676
00:35:50.159 --> 00:35:51.760
I got out of debt. We got out of debt

677
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:55.440
in two thousand and nine, and so twenty ten, and

678
00:35:56.360 --> 00:35:59.440
I was kind of helping people just you know, just

679
00:35:59.519 --> 00:36:03.239
friendly pro bono ministry through my church and stuff. And

680
00:36:03.280 --> 00:36:05.920
by twenty eleven I started turning it into a business

681
00:36:05.960 --> 00:36:08.800
and actually doing it, you know, and getting getting paid.

682
00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:10.599
And then eventually.

683
00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:14.880
Time, Yeah, did you start doing some I mean, what

684
00:36:15.639 --> 00:36:18.920
helped that stick then? Because did you have some daily

685
00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:22.960
practices or habits that you develop for yourself? Because really,

686
00:36:24.119 --> 00:36:28.320
you can't coach people unless you've already done it yourself

687
00:36:28.360 --> 00:36:28.960
for yourself.

688
00:36:29.039 --> 00:36:31.239
I mean I learned that a long time ago too.

689
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:36.000
I absolutely have daily habits and things and routines that

690
00:36:36.639 --> 00:36:38.880
I continue to this day. My wife and I continue

691
00:36:38.920 --> 00:36:42.800
to this day. We have weekly meetings about budget. I've

692
00:36:42.840 --> 00:36:46.119
done a budget every month since we started that process.

693
00:36:46.559 --> 00:36:48.800
But again, and I want to be careful when I

694
00:36:48.840 --> 00:36:51.639
say this, because people hear, oh, you've done a budget,

695
00:36:51.679 --> 00:36:54.719
that's what did it. That's not what did it. That's

696
00:36:54.800 --> 00:36:57.559
just the daily habit that lets us have a tool

697
00:36:57.679 --> 00:37:01.599
to communicate and be on the same page and agree

698
00:37:01.599 --> 00:37:05.800
about our decisions. And that's the important part. So don't

699
00:37:05.840 --> 00:37:07.960
don't miss the forest for the trees. Because I have

700
00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:11.239
so many people come up, what's the perfect app? It's like, well,

701
00:37:11.280 --> 00:37:14.960
you are you know your app? You know there is

702
00:37:15.039 --> 00:37:16.880
no tool out there that's going to fix your life.

703
00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:19.360
You've got to fix your life, right, So it's that

704
00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:23.559
kind of realization. But yeah, that's that's the biggest routines

705
00:37:23.639 --> 00:37:26.639
and things that I've done, uh and and been able

706
00:37:26.679 --> 00:37:30.000
to keep in place, you know, to be able to

707
00:37:30.079 --> 00:37:34.119
keep the focus on the communication, the behavior, the mindset,

708
00:37:34.199 --> 00:37:34.800
those things.

709
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:37.079
So let's explore that.

710
00:37:37.320 --> 00:37:41.039
I mean, okay, so there's you talked about time, talent,

711
00:37:41.400 --> 00:37:46.480
and treasures. How do those three intercept what's your if

712
00:37:46.519 --> 00:37:49.480
you step back, how do those three intercept.

713
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:51.280
So at the end of the day, it all really

714
00:37:51.280 --> 00:37:54.440
comes down to talent. So time and treasures are the symptom.

715
00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:58.360
So here's what I mean. If you're if you have

716
00:37:58.480 --> 00:38:01.840
a problem your earlier you said finance and health are related,

717
00:38:01.920 --> 00:38:04.119
I would put time in that category. Two. I think

718
00:38:04.119 --> 00:38:07.000
those three things are related. Well, why are they related?

719
00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:11.320
Because your mindset and your behaviors and your beliefs are

720
00:38:11.480 --> 00:38:19.519
reflected in your time, your money, and your health because

721
00:38:20.039 --> 00:38:26.320
they create the habits, the routines, the structure, the you know,

722
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:29.159
all of that stuff. That's where it shows up. So

723
00:38:29.199 --> 00:38:32.039
if you think of time and money and health, those

724
00:38:32.079 --> 00:38:36.079
are symptoms. But the core problem, you know, comes back

725
00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:40.800
to between your ears and in your heart. You believe

726
00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:43.480
in what you how you that reflects in your behavior.

727
00:38:44.159 --> 00:38:47.920
And that's why again I talk about time, talent, and

728
00:38:47.960 --> 00:38:52.159
treasures because usually where we're seeing it, where we're feeling

729
00:38:52.519 --> 00:38:55.079
the alignment problem is in our time or our money.

730
00:38:55.719 --> 00:38:58.079
You know, for time, it comes down to usually some

731
00:38:58.320 --> 00:39:03.159
version of I'm too busy to do what's important. So

732
00:39:03.239 --> 00:39:05.639
people will say things like I'm too busy to make

733
00:39:05.679 --> 00:39:09.119
it to my daughter's soccer game. That's a reflection of

734
00:39:09.119 --> 00:39:12.559
a misalignment of priorities. You know, it's actually not that

735
00:39:12.599 --> 00:39:15.599
you're too busy, it's that you've put a priority on

736
00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:20.320
some of your soccer game you've chosen with money, I'm

737
00:39:20.360 --> 00:39:23.639
too broke. Yeah, I'm too I make too much money

738
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:26.199
to feel this broke. You know, that's an example of

739
00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:30.400
something someone would say. Again, what that is really reflecting

740
00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:34.519
is a misalignment between how you're using your money and

741
00:39:34.559 --> 00:39:37.840
how you really think, you know, you should be using

742
00:39:37.880 --> 00:39:41.559
your money. You your deep seated beliefs are causing a misalignment.

743
00:39:42.440 --> 00:39:46.360
Yeah, I mean so I can see there where if

744
00:39:46.840 --> 00:39:51.360
someone's discerns, well, let's say that someone is saying, how

745
00:39:51.360 --> 00:39:53.920
can I tell if I'm investing my talents in the

746
00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:57.599
right places? It sounds like it's going to get back

747
00:39:57.639 --> 00:40:00.079
to individual choices that you make every day.

748
00:40:00.480 --> 00:40:06.880
Absolutely always, the tiny choices that we make aren't tiny.

749
00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:13.239
You know, we think they are, but they're not. It's again,

750
00:40:13.440 --> 00:40:15.519
and I've had the same experience as you. I'm working

751
00:40:15.519 --> 00:40:17.679
with somebody on time or I'm working with somebody on money,

752
00:40:18.039 --> 00:40:21.039
and they come back later and they're like, I'm losing weight.

753
00:40:21.679 --> 00:40:24.079
Why am I losing weight? And it's like, well, it's

754
00:40:24.119 --> 00:40:27.159
real easy. You start getting disciplined in one area of

755
00:40:27.159 --> 00:40:31.639
your life, it naturally makes you more disciplined than other areas, right,

756
00:40:32.320 --> 00:40:35.159
because discipline is a belief in a mindset and so

757
00:40:35.239 --> 00:40:38.440
it just spills over. And so it's not that we

758
00:40:38.480 --> 00:40:41.239
sat down and said stop eating so much. You just

759
00:40:41.320 --> 00:40:43.840
naturally started eating better and taking better care of yourself.

760
00:40:44.199 --> 00:40:47.400
You know, it's I didn't have to tell you to

761
00:40:47.440 --> 00:40:50.440
do it. Same thing. It always happens that way. And

762
00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:52.519
by the way, I think it happens reverse too. I

763
00:40:52.559 --> 00:40:55.480
know health coaches that are like they started getting healthier

764
00:40:55.480 --> 00:40:57.239
and all of a sudden their money started getting straight.

765
00:40:57.280 --> 00:41:00.159
You know, how did that happen? You know? Same thing?

766
00:41:00.199 --> 00:41:03.599
You know, it's because the core is that discipline and

767
00:41:03.639 --> 00:41:07.159
that habit and the behaviors and the beliefs and the

768
00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:10.559
and so often we don't even know what our limiting

769
00:41:10.599 --> 00:41:14.760
beliefs are. They're invisible to us. Oh no, eternal dialogue

770
00:41:14.880 --> 00:41:17.440
is invisible. Yeah.

771
00:41:17.480 --> 00:41:23.119
So you you've gotten into personality types, right. Maybe what

772
00:41:23.159 --> 00:41:24.840
we'll do is we'll do a thing about that in

773
00:41:24.880 --> 00:41:28.760
one of these days. But do you think that understanding

774
00:41:28.760 --> 00:41:31.639
personality types and like taking some of them there's all.

775
00:41:31.920 --> 00:41:35.639
I actually did a few of them not too long ago. Uh,

776
00:41:35.920 --> 00:41:38.800
And I think it's aren't you involved in the enneagram?

777
00:41:39.239 --> 00:41:42.760
I know I'm familiar with anyagram. I do not use anyagram.

778
00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:45.360
I use DISC. The only reason I use DISC is

779
00:41:45.400 --> 00:41:47.840
not because it's better or worse. And you know, there's

780
00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:50.480
Meyers Briggs, there's strength Finder. There's a million of them

781
00:41:50.480 --> 00:41:53.639
out there. Here's my problem with all of them except Disc.

782
00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:56.280
I'm not smart enough to carry it around in my head.

783
00:41:58.360 --> 00:42:00.840
Disc is simple enough that I can carry it around

784
00:42:00.840 --> 00:42:02.360
in my head and I can use it in real

785
00:42:02.440 --> 00:42:05.039
time with people. All the other thing.

786
00:42:06.920 --> 00:42:09.679
That I've got, okay, well, but do you think that

787
00:42:09.679 --> 00:42:11.840
that sort of thing can help you get some clarity?

788
00:42:12.159 --> 00:42:15.880
Absolutely, because all of those things, by the way, none

789
00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:18.159
of them are good or bad. They're both. They're all

790
00:42:18.199 --> 00:42:22.519
just tools, right, They're insights that we can get. You know,

791
00:42:22.559 --> 00:42:24.360
God has made us in a certain way. This is

792
00:42:24.400 --> 00:42:26.320
my belief. God has made us in a certain way.

793
00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:28.920
I don't think any of these instruments gives us a

794
00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:32.800
complete picture, you know, of our whole design. I think

795
00:42:32.920 --> 00:42:36.719
all of them are glimpses through a little pinhole, you know,

796
00:42:36.800 --> 00:42:39.159
to let us see a glimpse of some of that

797
00:42:39.320 --> 00:42:42.360
wiring that we've been built with. And and so all

798
00:42:42.440 --> 00:42:45.039
of them are useful in the fact that they begin

799
00:42:45.119 --> 00:42:48.960
to give you insight right back to the same thing

800
00:42:49.199 --> 00:42:54.760
into beliefs and behaviors that you naturally have a tendency towards,

801
00:42:55.440 --> 00:42:58.119
and as you become aware of it, it lets you

802
00:42:58.239 --> 00:43:03.159
begin to you use them where there's strengths and mitigate

803
00:43:03.159 --> 00:43:06.679
them where they're weaknesses, because guess what, every one of

804
00:43:06.719 --> 00:43:11.039
them is a strength, and everything is also a weakness.

805
00:43:11.519 --> 00:43:14.800
By definition, if you have a strength, it has to

806
00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:18.920
create a weakness. It just does. It's nobody's so perfectly

807
00:43:18.920 --> 00:43:22.079
well rounded. Is to be strong in all components. You

808
00:43:22.119 --> 00:43:23.760
know that that would make us God.

809
00:43:24.280 --> 00:43:29.239
You know, there's only one that I know of, and if.

810
00:43:29.199 --> 00:43:30.800
You know, I don't know about you. But one of

811
00:43:30.840 --> 00:43:32.519
the best days of my life was when I realized

812
00:43:32.559 --> 00:43:34.400
there was a God, and the second best days when

813
00:43:34.440 --> 00:43:40.159
I realized it wasn't me. That's as I tell people,

814
00:43:40.199 --> 00:43:41.719
that's about my pay grade. I don't get to make

815
00:43:41.760 --> 00:43:44.800
that decision. But as we get insights into ourselves, it

816
00:43:44.880 --> 00:43:48.159
lets us communicate better, lets us understand each other better.

817
00:43:48.239 --> 00:43:51.760
It let's us understand ourselfs better. And all of those

818
00:43:51.760 --> 00:43:55.280
things together begin to help us understand our beliefs and

819
00:43:55.320 --> 00:43:58.639
our behaviors, so now we can get more in alignment.

820
00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:03.639
Scott, I have loved this conversation this and like I said,

821
00:44:04.039 --> 00:44:06.480
you're going to be on again. I can tell because

822
00:44:06.519 --> 00:44:08.400
I have a whole bunch of other things I want

823
00:44:08.440 --> 00:44:11.920
to talk about, but not today.

824
00:44:12.079 --> 00:44:13.639
I don't have me to come on anytime.

825
00:44:14.039 --> 00:44:14.480
Okay.

826
00:44:14.519 --> 00:44:18.239
So for listeners who feel like it's too late, or

827
00:44:18.559 --> 00:44:19.440
you know that they.

828
00:44:19.320 --> 00:44:20.519
I can't change direction.

829
00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:24.679
What would you say to encourage people to take a

830
00:44:24.679 --> 00:44:25.199
look at this?

831
00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:29.679
If you are sucking wind, it's not too late. So

832
00:44:30.199 --> 00:44:32.719
as long as you are breathing, it is not too late.

833
00:44:33.079 --> 00:44:37.480
So my mother just turned eighty five. Okay, guess what.

834
00:44:37.519 --> 00:44:40.800
My mom is still learning new things because you know,

835
00:44:41.679 --> 00:44:43.960
that's what she believes, and that's who she is, and

836
00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:48.119
that's how she lives her life. So there is no

837
00:44:48.360 --> 00:44:51.960
too old. My great grandmother died at ninety ninety four,

838
00:44:52.079 --> 00:44:54.639
ninety five years old. You know, my great grandfather died.

839
00:44:54.719 --> 00:44:56.880
I've had all these long lived people, and I have

840
00:44:56.880 --> 00:45:00.360
all these great examples of looking at people that live

841
00:45:00.440 --> 00:45:03.960
their life well. And then I also have some examples

842
00:45:04.000 --> 00:45:07.519
in my family of folks that didn't right. The point

843
00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:10.880
isn't well they were too old or they were too young.

844
00:45:11.000 --> 00:45:14.559
The point is their attitude and their philosophy and their

845
00:45:14.679 --> 00:45:16.400
you know that that's what kept them.

846
00:45:16.519 --> 00:45:18.679
Well, I think you can or you think you can't.

847
00:45:18.840 --> 00:45:22.159
You're right, yeah, exactly the Henry Forward quote.

848
00:45:22.239 --> 00:45:28.039
Yep, yeah, so uh okay, so you're not too old?

849
00:45:28.800 --> 00:45:30.760
Never what's what's should? What's What's?

850
00:45:30.800 --> 00:45:35.559
One powerful question they can ask themselves today, what.

851
00:45:35.480 --> 00:45:40.639
Do you want out of life? Another version of that.

852
00:45:40.679 --> 00:45:43.000
It's the same question, but phrase a different way. So

853
00:45:43.159 --> 00:45:45.920
for people that that question hit wrong, what do you

854
00:45:45.960 --> 00:45:48.519
want to be when you grow up? And by the way,

855
00:45:48.519 --> 00:45:49.960
I don't care if you're eighty five, you can still

856
00:45:49.960 --> 00:45:50.920
ask yourself that question.

857
00:45:52.199 --> 00:45:54.639
Good questions, Scott.

858
00:45:56.039 --> 00:45:58.199
Well, I hope so I tried to come on with

859
00:45:58.280 --> 00:45:59.719
good questions. That's the name of question.

860
00:46:03.280 --> 00:46:06.079
All right, We've got to wrap it up, Scott. So

861
00:46:06.920 --> 00:46:10.400
just to remind everybody, on my website, I have a

862
00:46:10.440 --> 00:46:13.199
place where I put all the information about my guests.

863
00:46:13.599 --> 00:46:17.239
So in a couple of days that information about Scott

864
00:46:17.280 --> 00:46:19.079
will be there, so you can go and if you

865
00:46:19.119 --> 00:46:21.840
want to follow up with him after this, then all

866
00:46:21.880 --> 00:46:24.760
the information about where to find him will be there.

867
00:46:25.800 --> 00:46:28.880
So with that, thank you so much, my friend for

868
00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:29.960
joining me today.

869
00:46:30.800 --> 00:46:34.320
Absolutely, I'm honored to be here, and I hope you

870
00:46:34.440 --> 00:46:36.880
that are listening. You just got some value out of

871
00:46:36.920 --> 00:46:38.920
that and take action on it.

872
00:46:39.920 --> 00:46:42.119
Thank you so much, and thank you so much for

873
00:46:42.199 --> 00:46:44.119
joining the Ask Good Questions podcast.

874
00:46:44.239 --> 00:46:45.559
Bye bye bye bye.

875
00:46:50.159 --> 00:46:53.760
Today's episode is over, but we need Ask Good Questions again,

876
00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:58.079
didn't We don't miss out as we broadcast live every Wednesday,

877
00:46:58.159 --> 00:47:01.519
six pm Eastern Time on a W four CY Radio

878
00:47:01.679 --> 00:47:06.159
at w fourcy dot com. Joined Nina Bellmerson next week

879
00:47:06.239 --> 00:47:12.119
for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement, behavioral finance issues,

880
00:47:12.199 --> 00:47:16.840
health and wellness and more. Until then, remember to ask

881
00:47:17.039 --> 00:47:18.320
good questions.