Nov. 25, 2025

An Attitude of Gratitude…Grateful & Grounded: The Power of Gratitude in Your Financial Journey

An Attitude of Gratitude…Grateful & Grounded: The Power of Gratitude in Your Financial Journey

In this inspiring episode, Bob Wheeler—CPA, comedian, and creator of The Money Nerve—shares how cultivating gratitude can transform your relationship with money. With his signature blend of humor, honesty, and heart, Bob unpacks how emotions shape financial choices and how gratitude can ground us through life’s financial ups and downs. Discover how being thankful isn’t just good for the soul—it’s a powerful tool for building financial peace and purpose.

Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

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WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We

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Radio or it's employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments

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Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,

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six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

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w four cy dot com. This week and every week,

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we will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,

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as well as a focus on health and wellness. Now,

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let's join your host, Anita Bell Anderson, as together we

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start with Asking Good Questions.

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Hey, Hello, and welcome, Welcome, Welcome to the Ask Good

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Questions Podcast. I'm so happy that you're here today with us.

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We have got a fantastic show. We're going to talk

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about something really important. It has to do with the

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power of gratitude and money and health and wellness and

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it's going to all kind of roll together. So I

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have a fabulous guest with me today. I'd like to

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invite him now to the podcast stage.

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Hey, Benita, how are you.

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Good? Good? Not seeing your picture yet, but ah there

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you are?

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Who time difference?

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Yeah, Hey, this is Bob Wheeler, and I'm gonna give

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you a little bit of background on Bob. His mission

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is to empower individuals and communities to transform their relationship

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with my What a great idea, breaking free from the

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fears of you know, shame and confusion that so often

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hold people back. He is a CPA, he's an author,

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he's a comedian, and he's a somantic therapist. I'm not

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sure if I know what a somantic therapist. Maybe you

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can tell us a little bit. He brings a wealth

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of experience to the table. He offers a unique perspective.

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I don't think I've had well, I think I've had

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one other communic comedian. But we're hopefully this is going

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to be an engaging discussion today. He really wants to

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rewrite people's stories around money and by addressing both the

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practical and the emotional aspects of money management. He feels

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like you can cultivate, cultivate a more balanced, fulfilling relationship

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with our finances and ultimately with ourselves. So, Bob, since

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I have a comedian with me today, are you ready

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for a gratitude joke?

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I'm ready lay it on us.

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Well, now, as I told you, I'm in Hawaii actually

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for another six months with my husband. We're on a

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service mission for our church. So I'm coming at you

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from Hawaii, out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean

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with twenty five hundred miles of ocean around us, and

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it's between seventy five and eighty five every day. So

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this Thanksgiving in Hawaii, I am extra grateful because nothing

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says abundant blessings like turkey gratitude and not having to

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shovel snow.

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That sounds like a winner every time. I'm not sure

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if the turkeys as happy as we are.

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No, I'm not sure either, but appreciate you. But I've

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heard that the turkey that gets pardonered by the president

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every year, I guess there is some place where they go. Ah,

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that's good, Yeah, sanctuary turkey shank really right, So is

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there anything that she'd like to add to that introduction?

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Well, let's see, I'm also the CFO at the world

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famous Comedy Store. I've been there for twenty eight years,

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and I think the experiences of the Comedy Store, of

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being a CPA, being a comedian, somatic therapist, body based therapy.

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We feel things, we hold on to things, so we

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don't just talk about it. How do I feel about

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that and where do I feel it in my body?

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And so those things have all come together to really

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help me come up with tools and conversations to have

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with people about having a different outcome changing our story.

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Awesome. Well, well, I really love how you how you

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connect or how do you know how you can connect

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gratitude and money. So those are two things that people

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don't often link together. So what first inspired you to

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connect those two things?

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Well, you know, it's funny, Uh, many of us are

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socialized right to make lots of money, be super successful,

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make money, make money. We're not socialized to stop a

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moment and say, wow, I'm really grateful that I'm making

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lots of money or that I'm having lots of success

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because I got to get to the next thing. I

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got to keep going, and I was socialized. I am

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my immediate accomplishments. I am my bank account, and so

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I got to keep these things growing and going. And

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it wasn't until a bit later on, and uh, when

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I was in Africa where people weren't so obsessed about

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success and more money and all those accolades, I thought,

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why are these people so happy? What's wrong with them?

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Don't they know? And so what happened was for me

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it was a course correction because I was sure I

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was right. I was sure that it was all about

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having more and not pausing to say, is this enough?

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Am I grateful? Am I appreciating it? Am I actually

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stopping to enjoy the fruits of my labor? Because often

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we're so busy creating them we don't actually take them

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moment say oh wow, yeah hard. So that's really where

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it started coming in for me to realize I hadn't

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been that grateful. I appreciated things, and it was important

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to be of service, but I hadn't really stopped to

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take a look around and say, wow, I'm really grateful

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to be right where I am and having the ability

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to get somewhere else. That's where I want to be

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as well.

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Well, I think I told you that I'm a scuba diver.

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And there was one time when I was in Fiji

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and I got to talk to a Fijian chief chieftain

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guy on an island and they lived with next to nothing,

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and I got that that perspective that they had everything

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they needed and they were happy and they're living in

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a hut and there wasn't anything else they needed. So

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you have some stories around Africa and Nepal, so I

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would love to weave those in here at the beginning.

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Yeah, absolutely, so. Really, Africa was the first awakening I

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everybody around me. I was in Tanzania average income at

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the time, one hundred dollars a year per person, no shoes,

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using broken pots and pans to cook their food, asking

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if they could have the trash I was throwing out

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so they could use the containers and recycle things, and

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they were all just so happy. And at a certain point,

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I think I almost got annoyed. I'm like, why are

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you people so happy? Don't you understand what's wrong with you?

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And they just kept beaming with happiness, with gratitude, appreciation,

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joy and celebration, and I was like, no, no, no, I'm

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too busy trying to make lots of money and show

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everybody how amazing my life is to actually stop and

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celebrate and have joy. And it really messed with my

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mind because I was doing all the great things. I

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had my fancy car, and I was doing all the marks,

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and I hadn't really stopped and said wow, like here

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I am, and most of us don't take them to

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just say thank goodness. I woke up this morning, Thank

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you Lord for letting me breathe this morning because some

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people didn't wake up this morning. Thank you for me

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being able to get out of bed. And even if

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I'm feeling to make some pains, I know I have

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a body and those little things. And so it once

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I started just seeing how and I've been to Africa,

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to different countries, almost everywhere I go gratitude, happiness, appreciation,

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wanting to make sure that my experiences are you know

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that I can go back and tell everybody how amazing

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it was. That it was just in the energy, and

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it was a beautiful lesson for me because it really

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shifted my entire focus, taking it out of myself, and

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even though I had always been about service in church

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and different things, actually just saying wait a minute, it

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is all bigger than me, and I'm grateful to get

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to be a part of it and grateful for how

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I can show up and be of service.

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Right, awesome, same thing in Nepal? Were you tricking in Nepal?

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So I did a couple of treks to base camp

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Mount Everest, and the second time around, I took friends

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and family and everybody was super excited. I was sort

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of the leader of the pack because I had been before.

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And the very first day is a really hard day

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because you get into the National Park and you have

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to go down a bunch of steep rocks and inclines

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and declines and all this stuff. And halfway down that

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first day, everybody said, oh wow, this is really hard.

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Let's just go back to Catman Do and go shopping

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and get massages and like, let's not do this fike.

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And of course, being a money person, I'm like, I

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just spent ten thousand dollars. I'm going to get my

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money's worth for the next three four weeks. And in

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that moment, and I know other people have mentioned this,

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it was not on my radar, I just thought, Okay,

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what can I do. Let's negotiate and hike for an

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hour and then decide if we're going to keep hiking.

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And so what we did was we just took it

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in baby steps, because what I have found in my

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life and with my clients, most of us want to

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get from A to Z, and we just want to

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get from A to Z, and we don't want to

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do all the work in between. So I thought, well,

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let's just focus on getting to B. Let's go for

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A to B and then let's see about going to C.

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Let's not get ahead of ourselves. And once I got

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everybody to get in agreement with like, yeah, we can

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do that. We'll hike for an hour and then we'll vote,

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and we literally stopped every hour. Are we all in?

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And yeah? At a certain point everybody was like yeah,

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I'm not going to say no. But it really helped

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our minds. Instead of trying to get to that mountain

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way over there that was seven days a week, you know,

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seven days away, it was like, we're just going to

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get to that little hill, right, And by the third

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day we were like, all right, let's agree. After a

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half a day and then and then finally we were

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like all right, we're in. We're in. But we often

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get overwhelmed with our ideas and our goals and our

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things we want to accomplish, and when we get overwhelmed,

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a lot of us just freeze, shut down, give up.

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And when I found that we made it digestible. It

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just made it that much more possible.

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Well, you're making me think of an analogy, which is

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I was like, I don't I'm you know, listening to

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you tell that story. You could apply that to someone

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that's five thousand dollars in debt and just be happy

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to get to four thousand, that's right, and then just

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be happy to get to three thousand and then to two.

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I remember when I was finally out of debt, I

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had accumulated way too much debt for my liking, but

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you know, it was what it was, what it was,

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and then you know, market crashes happened. But I remember,

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and I don't think I was consciously thinking of it,

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but I remember thinking, oh, wow, I'm at this point now,

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and that's great, and I'm not at that point anymore.

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Oh I'm so grateful. But I mean, don't you think

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you could There's a lot of emotions. There's a lot

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of emotions in that, don't you think about?

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Absolutely?

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And I don know where you are.

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Yeah, absolutely, And I think to your point, right, we

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don't know when we see somebody else in a position

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and we make a judgment, oh wow, look you know,

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look how far they think they've gone, or how come

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they haven't come far enough. We're not getting the whole picture, right.

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It's like the tip of the iceberg. We're just seeing

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a fraction of what's going on. I remember a story

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about there was a man. He was drunk. He was

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passed out, and he was laying on the curb and

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it was raining, and people walking by and going, oh,

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look at that lazy drunk. But if you were in

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his shoes, he had taken himself out of the street

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and out of the water and at least gotten too

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higher ground. Right, it was a baby step. Okay, yeah,

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it wasn't all the way, but if you saw where

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he started and where he landed, it was still a

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better place. And most of us are we think our

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experience is what somebody else's experience, and so we know

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what's best for them. And the reality is we all

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do know our own stories, and so to be able

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to say, wow, yeah I could be further along, but man,

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I'm further along than where I was previously. And as

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long as I'm breathing and have a breath and a passion,

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I'm going to keep moving in that direction.

240
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Yeah. Well, you know, I think that a lot of

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times fear and shame can be emotions that show up

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in money behavior. What would you say to that? How

243
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do you think that happens?

244
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Well, you know, it starts young. When you're a kid.

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I want lots of I want lots of toys for Christmas. Oh,

246
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Santa's gonna think you're greedy. You're a greedy kid. Do

247
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you deserve that? Oh? Maybe I don't. There's other kids

248
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that work harder, there's more kids that like are more deserving,

249
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and so that's early, that's early on. I saw a

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kid one time, and it was in February. The kid

251
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was in a toy store. He wanted a toy and

252
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the mom said, that's it. You're so selfish. I'm gonna

253
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tell Santa you're not getting anything next year for Christmas.

254
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Oh.

255
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This kid was begging and pleading, having a traumatic experience,

256
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begging mom, please don't tell Santa. She's like, no, that's it,

257
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you're a bad kid. Well, that kind of stuff when

258
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we're when we're young, it hurts and February for a

259
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kid that's like two thousand years to Christmas, right, And

260
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I was just it was it was hurt wrenching to

261
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see this kid feeling the full impact of what it

262
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meant to him. And so when we're little, you know,

263
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we're either taught to save or spend it all and

264
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we start taking in all this information thinking it's going

265
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to serve us for life. And we're grabbing all this

266
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information and we often don't update the information as we

267
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become adults.

268
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Well you know what you're making me think now, Bob

269
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is you were saying, you were giving me a little

270
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bit of a definition about what semantic therapy is. And

271
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it sounds like we can carry a lot of stuff.

272
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So would that tie in? Would would actually therapy help

273
00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:44.919
somebody who feels like, oh, I know I've got some

274
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stuff that I never let go of.

275
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Absolutely for people. My editor on the book said to me,

276
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I'm very non emotional, uh like, I don't have I

277
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don't let emotions play in with money. And I said

278
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to her, well, who pays for lunch when you go

279
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out with your dad? Because well, my dad does. I'm

280
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his little princess I said, who pays for your lunch

281
00:17:04.279 --> 00:17:05.839
when you go out with your mom? She's like, I

282
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do because I feel like my dad left my mom

283
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and I feel bad for her. She's a victim. I said,

284
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who pays for lunch when you go out with your sister?

285
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She said, oh, it's fifty to fifty? We're oh okay,

286
00:17:15.079 --> 00:17:19.119
I see right. We even those little things when you

287
00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:21.680
win the lottery or you don't. You either go, oh

288
00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:25.759
my god, I won, or I never win. When your

289
00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:32.599
credit card gets declined at a store, The wrenching feeling

290
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:37.160
in your stomach, I'm so ashamed. Right, all of those things,

291
00:17:37.160 --> 00:17:40.079
you get a surprise bonus you were Oh my god.

292
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All of that's we feel it. We feel it.

293
00:17:44.119 --> 00:17:53.799
Yeah, So how could gratitude help shift those heavier emotions?

294
00:17:53.880 --> 00:17:56.559
And you know, I think that maybe you might be

295
00:17:56.920 --> 00:18:00.920
you know, we could say, well maybe a would be

296
00:18:02.599 --> 00:18:06.079
having a sense of peace or perspective. So is there

297
00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:09.920
a way that gratitude could shift something that's pretty heavy?

298
00:18:10.720 --> 00:18:15.400
Yeah? Absolutely. I think when we start expressing gratitude and

299
00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:20.079
focus on gratitude, then money becomes a tool. Right, It's

300
00:18:20.119 --> 00:18:22.279
not a goal. It's not like I got to have more. Yeah,

301
00:18:22.279 --> 00:18:26.400
I'm grateful. I have enough. I am enough. I have enough,

302
00:18:27.000 --> 00:18:31.160
and I don't mind more coming my way instead of

303
00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:33.920
I got to get more. It's not enough until I

304
00:18:33.960 --> 00:18:38.920
get to this place. And so it does reduce anxiety.

305
00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:42.160
It gives us a purpose that's really bigger than us,

306
00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:46.839
because yes, I'm in control of my life, and some

307
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:50.359
of it I don't control, and I can only control

308
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:52.480
what I can control, and the rest I can be

309
00:18:52.519 --> 00:18:55.559
appreciative when it's a good day, and even when it's

310
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a bad day, I appreciate that I survived it.

311
00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:03.640
Yeah, well, what do you think I was gonna? I'm

312
00:19:03.720 --> 00:19:06.920
just thinking, what are some common stories that you see

313
00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:08.079
people carrying around?

314
00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:13.400
I'm not enough. If people found out that I was

315
00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:17.759
an impostor, it would all be taken from me. A

316
00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:21.960
sentence that came up in workshops a lot. If you

317
00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:29.720
knew the truth about my financial situation, you would leave me. Oh,

318
00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:35.440
and the other piece that has come up in coaching

319
00:19:35.480 --> 00:19:38.960
and workshops and in therapy, people saying, you know, if

320
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I lose the house, if I lose the business, if

321
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I make less than this much money, my parents won't

322
00:19:46.200 --> 00:19:50.799
love me anymore. And so one of the tasks I

323
00:19:50.799 --> 00:19:54.200
would give people is hey, sit down with your folks

324
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over dinner and ask them what is the dollar amount

325
00:19:59.079 --> 00:20:02.480
or what things do you have to lose so that

326
00:20:02.519 --> 00:20:03.640
they won't love you anymore?

327
00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:09.680
What? They look at you going what what?

328
00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:14.440
Because the truth is, for most of us, our parents

329
00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:16.759
are going to love us. They may not, they may

330
00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:21.720
be annoyed, they might be disappointed. For most of us,

331
00:20:21.720 --> 00:20:23.839
they're not going to walk away from us. But we

332
00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:24.839
believe that.

333
00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:27.720
We Yeah, it's just a story, It's a and.

334
00:20:27.640 --> 00:20:32.039
That story is so powerful. I've watched people sabotage businesses

335
00:20:32.599 --> 00:20:37.680
and business deals because they thought doing anything else than

336
00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:39.920
letting it fail would disappoint their parents.

337
00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:48.279
Wow, well that's okay. Oh yeah. And a lot of times,

338
00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:53.079
you know, through this podcast, I'm feeling like every time

339
00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:57.559
every episode, I want somebody to go and have something

340
00:20:57.720 --> 00:21:01.519
that they can take away that they can then implement.

341
00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:08.480
So if listeners are listening to this and going wow,

342
00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:12.640
maybe I should look at this. What would be a

343
00:21:12.759 --> 00:21:17.640
first step to rewriting a money story? What would you say?

344
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:22.559
The first thing involves writing. So there's two ways you

345
00:21:22.559 --> 00:21:25.759
can do it. One is you can just start. If

346
00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:29.880
you don't feel comfortable writing, start with a morning gratitude journal.

347
00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:35.200
I'm grateful that I woke up this morning. I'm happy

348
00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:39.160
that I'm in a warm space if it's cold outside. Right,

349
00:21:39.359 --> 00:21:42.920
Just two or three things that I'm grateful and happy about,

350
00:21:43.319 --> 00:21:45.759
So not a whole lot, but just enough to go,

351
00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:49.400
oh yeah, sort of set a positive tone. Yeah, for

352
00:21:49.559 --> 00:21:53.359
whatever comes your way. Yeah, And that's a great first

353
00:21:53.440 --> 00:21:57.000
start this. Just start recording gratitude in the morning if

354
00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:59.160
you want to get fancy at the end of the day.

355
00:21:59.319 --> 00:22:02.039
I'm grateful that I didn't yell back at my boss

356
00:22:02.079 --> 00:22:05.240
when he got upset at me. I'm grateful that I

357
00:22:05.319 --> 00:22:07.839
made it home in the pouring rain. Right, And so

358
00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:10.720
maybe a recap of now that I've experienced the day,

359
00:22:10.839 --> 00:22:13.480
what are some actual things that happened today. I'm grateful

360
00:22:13.480 --> 00:22:15.400
for my puppy came and gave me a kiss when

361
00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:19.519
I got home, whatever it might be. The other thing

362
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:23.599
to really help change the story is still more journaling.

363
00:22:24.079 --> 00:22:28.799
I find that really important is to start writing about

364
00:22:28.920 --> 00:22:32.720
what is my story? You know, I will never have

365
00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:35.799
more than this amount of money. My parents came from

366
00:22:35.799 --> 00:22:41.799
a background of believing this, and start excavating and getting

367
00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:44.839
it out there so that we can have some awareness.

368
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.720
Oh that's right. When I was five, that thing happened

369
00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:51.880
to me. I got so embarrassed. I lost the milk money,

370
00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:55.319
I did something in front of a group of people,

371
00:22:55.480 --> 00:22:59.480
and I was so shamed. And starting to find the

372
00:22:59.559 --> 00:23:03.720
stories can start to heal them because we all have

373
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a story. It's either fact or fiction, and most of

374
00:23:06.839 --> 00:23:10.279
us have created fiction that doesn't serve us, and so

375
00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:12.160
we need to know what's really going on so we

376
00:23:12.200 --> 00:23:15.400
can say is that still serving me? Because I want

377
00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:18.839
a different story. I want to feel my gratitude. I

378
00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:22.319
want to feel like I have enough, that I am enough,

379
00:23:23.079 --> 00:23:25.359
And how do I show open the world so that

380
00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:28.519
I can be of service and come in as a

381
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:32.240
person of light instead of somebody that How can I take?

382
00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:33.319
But how can I give?

383
00:23:35.079 --> 00:23:39.799
You? Know that it's making me think that nobody is

384
00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:43.839
ever going to change unless they're aware. So it might

385
00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:48.240
be this is like, maybe this conversation today is a

386
00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:52.680
first step to even being aware that you're right go

387
00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:55.279
about every day in a different way. I was also

388
00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:58.680
going to tell you about that I am surprised. Eight

389
00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:03.359
years ago I found something called a five year journal, Okay,

390
00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:07.079
and basically it's just a few little lines. Anyway, I'm

391
00:24:07.079 --> 00:24:11.559
on my eighth year. Every night I have a couple

392
00:24:11.559 --> 00:24:14.200
of little lines that I write something about that day,

393
00:24:14.839 --> 00:24:18.960
and I barely remember what I did last week. But

394
00:24:19.160 --> 00:24:22.559
because I've now got I'm on my second five year journal,

395
00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:25.079
I can look back and go, Wow, look what I

396
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:27.039
was doing this year. Look at what I was doing

397
00:24:27.119 --> 00:24:29.920
that year. It's really fun to look back and then

398
00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:33.200
also just you know, think about, wow, look at how

399
00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:37.920
far I've come. So journaling can be you know, if

400
00:24:37.960 --> 00:24:42.000
you have that's something that I really love. And five

401
00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:46.240
year journals are just a journal that has a space

402
00:24:46.319 --> 00:24:48.960
and it's set up so that you have five years,

403
00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:50.880
but it's not overwhelming.

404
00:24:50.920 --> 00:24:53.920
It's a little bit, little bit and I don't know

405
00:24:53.960 --> 00:24:58.079
if you handwrite it. I'm a big fan of handwriting things.

406
00:24:58.240 --> 00:24:59.680
And people say, well, I can type it and this,

407
00:24:59.799 --> 00:25:04.559
and that there is data to suggest that when we

408
00:25:04.599 --> 00:25:08.599
put pen to paper or pencil to paper, that there's

409
00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:12.599
a connection with our brain. And so for me, and

410
00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:14.519
that's the way I studied in high school and college,

411
00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:16.960
I would write my answers out five times. I would

412
00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:21.039
just write everything repetition, because there is a relationship when

413
00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:24.079
we're writing it to paper, and so I think that's

414
00:25:24.119 --> 00:25:29.720
really important. But that's the first big step and the

415
00:25:29.880 --> 00:25:32.440
questions that I would be asking myself because this is

416
00:25:32.519 --> 00:25:36.559
good questions, right, Yes, am I willing to do the work?

417
00:25:37.799 --> 00:25:42.480
Am I willing to get uncomfortable? And for me, it's

418
00:25:42.519 --> 00:25:46.599
so important to get really curious. Isn't it interesting that

419
00:25:46.680 --> 00:25:49.079
I don't think I can make over five thousand dollars

420
00:25:49.079 --> 00:25:52.240
a month? Isn't it interesting that I don't think I

421
00:25:52.440 --> 00:25:58.119
deserve a promotion. Isn't it curious that I often spend

422
00:25:58.119 --> 00:26:01.160
more than I make? Right, So we're trying not to

423
00:26:01.319 --> 00:26:05.039
judge it. We're just trying to get really interested. And

424
00:26:05.160 --> 00:26:08.079
why am I doing this? What's the purpose?

425
00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:13.920
Wow? Well, so I want to circle back around to

426
00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:21.119
like humor and comedy. You use humor as a tool, right, Yes,

427
00:26:21.240 --> 00:26:26.599
so I really love that. And how does laughter help

428
00:26:26.680 --> 00:26:30.039
people let down their guard when it comes to money?

429
00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:30.720
What do you think?

430
00:26:31.279 --> 00:26:34.839
Well? We I mean, it's been proven that laughter helps

431
00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:37.319
relax the body and puts us in a better place.

432
00:26:37.400 --> 00:26:40.559
Laughter is the best medicine for me. A lot of

433
00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:42.880
people take this stuff very serious. When we're talking about

434
00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:46.279
people's money and we're talking about debt and we're talking

435
00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:50.240
about what they have and accomplished. Yet it's really serious, right,

436
00:26:50.359 --> 00:26:54.640
and we're so rigid and tight, and we're about to

437
00:26:54.759 --> 00:26:59.000
just crack if somebody were to snap us right, well, humor,

438
00:27:00.039 --> 00:27:01.920
what I will often do is I'll tell a story

439
00:27:01.960 --> 00:27:06.799
about somebody else with a very similar situation, and they're like,

440
00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:10.279
oh my god, that's so funny. Oh oh, that's me,

441
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:14.279
And I'm like, what, yeah, whoh, I didn't even notice

442
00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:18.640
the relationship, you know, And then they're able to laugh

443
00:27:18.680 --> 00:27:21.880
about it. And the more we can take ourselves a

444
00:27:21.960 --> 00:27:27.160
little bit less serious on these serious things, the better

445
00:27:27.160 --> 00:27:30.079
we're going to feel. Because if we're so tight and

446
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:32.640
just bent on proving to everybody how perfectly, if we've

447
00:27:32.680 --> 00:27:35.599
done it and we presented so well, we don't really

448
00:27:35.640 --> 00:27:37.480
allow ourselves to be fully present.

449
00:27:38.759 --> 00:27:45.240
Wow. Well, for someone who feels anxious about finances, what

450
00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:50.119
could be a simple gratitude practice they could start today?

451
00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:57.039
So I think mantras are really great. It could even

452
00:27:57.079 --> 00:28:00.440
be something as simple as I'm grateful, but I have

453
00:28:00.480 --> 00:28:06.319
finances to be anxious about. Right for me, it's important

454
00:28:06.400 --> 00:28:12.039
to take the current reality and bridge it with the future. So,

455
00:28:12.279 --> 00:28:14.759
for example, a lot of people will say I don't

456
00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:19.559
know anything about finances and I never will. I want

457
00:28:19.559 --> 00:28:22.960
to take that and rephrase it as right now, I'm

458
00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:27.160
not really comfortable with financial decisions and looking at my finances,

459
00:28:27.720 --> 00:28:32.640
and I'm working on doing it differently going forward, so

460
00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:34.920
that I can hold the truth of what I'm feeling,

461
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:38.559
my anxiety and the truth of me wanting to take

462
00:28:38.599 --> 00:28:39.440
it to a new place.

463
00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:43.119
Wow, you're reframing.

464
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:50.519
Reframing absolutely right, Yeah, and sometimes write it down and

465
00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:52.920
then and figure out the reframe right, Sometimes you're not

466
00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:56.839
going to Yeah, exactly.

467
00:28:58.920 --> 00:29:03.000
So how can we being grateful for what we have

468
00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:11.000
well still staying motivated to grow and improve financially? Don't

469
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:13.599
you think that there's some push and pull there?

470
00:29:14.680 --> 00:29:20.000
Absolutely? Absolutely, So when I say I want to explore

471
00:29:20.039 --> 00:29:24.359
my gratitude, I'm not saying I want to explore complacency

472
00:29:25.079 --> 00:29:27.640
or that now I don't need to move forward anymore,

473
00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:33.799
or I can just stay where I am because energy moves, moves,

474
00:29:34.160 --> 00:29:35.960
and so I want to keep moving. I don't want

475
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:37.799
to stagnate and go Yeah, I got where I needed

476
00:29:37.799 --> 00:29:39.880
to be. I don't need to learn anything else. I

477
00:29:39.880 --> 00:29:42.839
don't need to do anything else. Right, And so some

478
00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:45.759
people think that that's what that. Oh well, if I'm grateful,

479
00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:48.720
then I don't need not at all. Like I'm grateful

480
00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:52.799
that I have goals and passion and energy, and I'm

481
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:56.960
grateful that I have the tools to make some, if

482
00:29:57.000 --> 00:30:00.359
not all, of those things come to fruition. And I

483
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:05.559
just think it's important to not see gratitude as complacency

484
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:09.359
or stagnation or I don't need to do anything else

485
00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:12.319
because I'm comfortable, Because even in a comfortable place, we

486
00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:16.759
want to still keep our tools fresh and our.

487
00:30:16.920 --> 00:30:24.000
You like, we kind of started out talking about being,

488
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:29.279
you know, being grateful for where you're at, so you

489
00:30:29.319 --> 00:30:32.839
could you could basically frame this to say, oh, look

490
00:30:32.839 --> 00:30:36.799
at how far I've come along this path to that

491
00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:38.559
thing that I'm going for.

492
00:30:39.119 --> 00:30:44.720
Absolutely absolutely, like we're learning and doing until the day

493
00:30:44.759 --> 00:30:45.160
we die.

494
00:30:46.680 --> 00:30:52.039
Yeah, I think we are. I think that. Yeah, me too.

495
00:30:52.880 --> 00:30:59.079
I feel like I'm a lifelong learner, right. And do

496
00:30:59.119 --> 00:31:04.440
you believe that gratitude can actually influence financial outcomes?

497
00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:10.799
Absolutely absolutely, because for me, again, it's about energy. If

498
00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:14.119
I have enough, then I'm not desperately trying to make

499
00:31:14.119 --> 00:31:16.160
sure this next deal goes through because it will be

500
00:31:16.319 --> 00:31:19.960
the end of me or it will close all my paths.

501
00:31:20.039 --> 00:31:24.559
If I'm grateful what's already here, more abundance is going

502
00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:28.240
to come my way because I'm comfortable with abundance. I'm

503
00:31:28.359 --> 00:31:32.559
comfortable with allowing more stuff to come in, and I'm

504
00:31:32.559 --> 00:31:34.799
also grateful if this is all that I get.

505
00:31:36.920 --> 00:31:39.359
Well, I want to circle back around to the whole

506
00:31:39.400 --> 00:31:44.839
semantic therapy thing. Let's talk a little bit about how

507
00:31:44.920 --> 00:31:50.240
does tuning into the body help people heal the relationship

508
00:31:50.279 --> 00:31:53.319
with money.

509
00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:57.720
Well, if you do any reading, there are a lot

510
00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:01.640
of people that have heart attacks over finance. Is during

511
00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:05.400
certain stock market crashes, people jumped off of buildings, right, yeah,

512
00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:10.680
it took an emotional toll. And if we can just stop.

513
00:32:10.920 --> 00:32:13.799
And I said this on a podcast one time that

514
00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:19.160
was a very very you know, intellectual conversation. I said,

515
00:32:19.160 --> 00:32:20.759
the first thing I tell everybody is take a breath.

516
00:32:21.759 --> 00:32:24.119
Yeah great, And they all went, oh, yeah, that's a

517
00:32:24.119 --> 00:32:26.000
great idea. You know, I know there and think got

518
00:32:26.079 --> 00:32:28.799
some crazy person. Right. The thing is, if we can

519
00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:33.000
at least take a breath and get present and say, wow,

520
00:32:33.279 --> 00:32:36.559
I'm feeling a whole lot of anxiety. Wow, I'm really

521
00:32:36.559 --> 00:32:39.319
nervous when I have to make big decisions. You know,

522
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:41.319
buying a house or selling a house. Great way to

523
00:32:41.359 --> 00:32:46.839
experience lots of emotions. Yeah, so freaking stressful every time.

524
00:32:48.079 --> 00:32:51.160
But if we can like just take a moment to

525
00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:54.319
get present and feel, oh my gosh, I feel really

526
00:32:54.359 --> 00:32:57.079
tight in my stomach. I feel nauseous because we're going

527
00:32:57.160 --> 00:33:01.440
to be talking about uh, you know, giving up the inheritance,

528
00:33:01.839 --> 00:33:04.960
or we're going to start talking about promotion, and I

529
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:08.359
have to tell people why I deserve it. Oh and

530
00:33:08.480 --> 00:33:11.519
so it's really really good to what's going on in

531
00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:14.200
my body and how can I relax it so I

532
00:33:14.240 --> 00:33:15.079
can be receptive.

533
00:33:17.680 --> 00:33:22.799
So can we relate this to couples or families. I'm

534
00:33:22.799 --> 00:33:27.799
thinking about using gratitude to reduce tension, yeah right, and

535
00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:32.240
improve money conversations, because a lot of times having a

536
00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:37.640
money conversation with a significant other or one of your children,

537
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:41.559
that that can be a huge issue.

538
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:47.880
Absolutely absolutely Well. Interestingly enough, a lot of couples historically

539
00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:53.000
have come into my tax meetings with tell us, who's right?

540
00:33:53.079 --> 00:33:57.440
We have dinner writing on this, Who's right? And what

541
00:33:57.519 --> 00:34:00.319
I'll say to them is, well, I'll let you know,

542
00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:02.759
but let me ask you this, are you guys on

543
00:34:02.839 --> 00:34:07.200
the same team or are you trying to beat each other? Yeah,

544
00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:12.159
because I find you'll go further if you actually join forces.

545
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:17.480
And they're like what And I think sometimes in relationships

546
00:34:17.480 --> 00:34:19.079
we sort of lose track of that a little bit

547
00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:22.079
and it starts to become a competition on a certain level,

548
00:34:22.119 --> 00:34:25.159
even though we love them and they're amazing. I'm going

549
00:34:25.199 --> 00:34:28.400
to win and I'm going to win that dinner. And

550
00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:32.280
I found like even in some workshops I was working

551
00:34:32.280 --> 00:34:34.440
with couples and they would be like, all right, it's

552
00:34:34.639 --> 00:34:36.639
my I'm going to take on the dragon as well.

553
00:34:36.679 --> 00:34:38.440
You go take care of the kids and then you

554
00:34:38.599 --> 00:34:40.559
go fight the dragon. And I was like, what if

555
00:34:40.599 --> 00:34:44.159
you stand together? Like what if you stand united, maybe

556
00:34:44.159 --> 00:34:46.719
you can take on all of it together and support

557
00:34:46.760 --> 00:34:49.840
each other. And I think sometimes we lose sight of that,

558
00:34:50.519 --> 00:34:55.159
and so if we can, if we can focus on Wow,

559
00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:57.199
I'm so grateful that I have a partner that I

560
00:34:57.280 --> 00:35:00.559
can stand beside. I'm grateful that I have somebody that

561
00:35:00.599 --> 00:35:03.880
I can have a shoulder to lean on. I'm grateful

562
00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:06.039
that I have a shoulder to give them to lean on.

563
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:10.119
You're making me think of over the years, you know,

564
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:13.599
like I've been a financial adviser, for twenty five years.

565
00:35:13.920 --> 00:35:19.199
I have had more than a few times when I

566
00:35:19.239 --> 00:35:22.039
have had a couple in my office and they've said,

567
00:35:23.079 --> 00:35:27.880
are you sure you're not a therapist? Yeah, like, well,

568
00:35:27.880 --> 00:35:31.320
maybe I am, you know, because I'll sit there going

569
00:35:31.519 --> 00:35:35.079
They'll be going back and forth, you know, about something

570
00:35:35.159 --> 00:35:39.079
with money. So yeah, it's a real thing.

571
00:35:39.400 --> 00:35:42.599
You are. And it's true because the other thing about money,

572
00:35:43.000 --> 00:35:45.840
like talking about kids, if you're not a good kid,

573
00:35:46.039 --> 00:35:47.679
you're out of the you're out of the you're out

574
00:35:47.679 --> 00:35:50.360
of the will, You're not going to get anything. You're

575
00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:56.119
being bad, right, And so sometimes we substitute money for love. Yeah,

576
00:35:56.360 --> 00:35:59.480
if you do these things, I'll give you more money. Yeah,

577
00:35:59.519 --> 00:36:04.239
show you which I love you. Yeah, And we start

578
00:36:04.280 --> 00:36:06.639
and some of us we, oh, my goodness. You know,

579
00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:12.920
my grandparents, my maternal grandparents, really wanted us to love them,

580
00:36:13.880 --> 00:36:16.840
and so whenever they would show up, we all need

581
00:36:16.840 --> 00:36:18.760
to put our piggy banks out. They put money in it.

582
00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:21.239
I'd get a new fishing pole, and they would do

583
00:36:21.280 --> 00:36:23.159
all kinds of things so that we would like them

584
00:36:23.159 --> 00:36:27.079
better than our paternal grandparents. Oh, they were super clear

585
00:36:27.079 --> 00:36:28.360
about it. They were like, we want you to like

586
00:36:28.440 --> 00:36:32.000
us better. We're like okay, because we make lots of

587
00:36:32.039 --> 00:36:34.800
money off this, so we'll do it right. We didn't

588
00:36:34.840 --> 00:36:38.000
know and they didn't know, right. We loved them anyway,

589
00:36:39.280 --> 00:36:40.239
but the money was nice.

590
00:36:40.239 --> 00:36:43.440
Well, talking about your own, you know, talking about your journey,

591
00:36:45.159 --> 00:36:51.039
how has gratitude changed your personal relationship with money? I

592
00:36:51.079 --> 00:36:52.880
mean you've told you know, you've told a couple of

593
00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:56.920
stories about growing up now and it's like, wow, well,

594
00:36:56.960 --> 00:36:58.159
how do you think it's changed you?

595
00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:02.840
Yeah. I think what's happened is I certainly I enjoy success.

596
00:37:03.400 --> 00:37:09.960
I certainly enjoy making money. I certainly enjoy the flexibility

597
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.599
and the choices I have by having money. And I

598
00:37:14.599 --> 00:37:17.960
think what's changed is I'm not driven by it. Like,

599
00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:20.719
I still have ambition, I still have passion. I still

600
00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:22.760
have lots of goals and there's lots of things I

601
00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:28.440
want to accomplish. Yeah, I'm no longer focused on okay,

602
00:37:28.440 --> 00:37:30.079
I might have to take out other people because I

603
00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:33.840
got to win. Now it's more focused on I want

604
00:37:33.880 --> 00:37:36.760
to reach this goal. And when I have money, I'm

605
00:37:36.800 --> 00:37:39.719
able to help other people. I'm able to pay it forward.

606
00:37:40.280 --> 00:37:45.800
And so for me, it shifted my energy from I

607
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:47.280
got to get more, I got to get more got

608
00:37:47.280 --> 00:37:49.960
to get to the top to Yeah, life is really

609
00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:52.000
good and if I had some more that'd be cool too,

610
00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:57.639
But it's not money. And it's so crazy because I

611
00:37:57.760 --> 00:38:00.920
enjoy money, but money is not the driving force. I

612
00:38:01.000 --> 00:38:06.320
will walk away from a client or lose money versus

613
00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:12.039
giving up my integrity. Yes, absolutely every time, And I

614
00:38:12.639 --> 00:38:14.639
no regrets on that. And I know people that are like, well,

615
00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:17.280
they'll never know. Yeah, I know, And I have to

616
00:38:17.280 --> 00:38:20.360
sleep with myself, so I'm not going to do something

617
00:38:20.519 --> 00:38:23.719
even if you know. Integrity is doing the right thing

618
00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:26.280
when nobody's looking. We can all do the right thing

619
00:38:26.320 --> 00:38:30.039
when everybody's holding us accountable. It's in those moments when

620
00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:32.760
you buy yourself. Nobody's going to notice if you change,

621
00:38:33.199 --> 00:38:36.480
like that's when it matters. And so for me, it's

622
00:38:36.519 --> 00:38:40.960
really shifted how I focus my energy. It's no longer

623
00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:43.440
about I got to beat other people and people must

624
00:38:43.480 --> 00:38:46.840
lose so I can win. It's about how do I

625
00:38:46.880 --> 00:38:49.039
show up so I can be of service and how

626
00:38:49.079 --> 00:38:51.039
can I use my money as a tool to help

627
00:38:51.079 --> 00:38:51.559
other people.

628
00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:57.159
So feeling I'm feeling inspired that we need to ask

629
00:38:57.239 --> 00:39:00.239
I need to ask this question again in a different

630
00:39:01.960 --> 00:39:06.519
If there's anyone feeling stuck or feeling like they're totally

631
00:39:06.639 --> 00:39:10.480
completely in scarcity or fear. What would you say is

632
00:39:10.519 --> 00:39:14.159
the first small shift that can make a difference. And

633
00:39:14.199 --> 00:39:17.199
that's basically we kind of talked about this earlier, but

634
00:39:17.239 --> 00:39:21.039
I'm feeling like we need to answer that again. So

635
00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:23.719
what would be a small shift for someone who's like,

636
00:39:24.760 --> 00:39:25.920
I'm never going to get out of this?

637
00:39:28.119 --> 00:39:30.719
I think the first thing, and it's sort of like

638
00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:34.119
the Morning Journal, like, are what are some truths that

639
00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:38.320
are right here? And now affirmations more affirmation, so that

640
00:39:38.440 --> 00:39:40.840
it might be the define I'm never going to get

641
00:39:40.840 --> 00:39:43.400
out of this. Wait a minute, I paid my rent

642
00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:47.719
this month. I bought groceries this month. Yeah, I didn't

643
00:39:47.719 --> 00:39:49.400
get to buy the ice cream, but I bought my

644
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:54.079
proteins and my veggies, right, Like, it can be that simple.

645
00:39:54.480 --> 00:39:56.719
I was able to mail a letter today. I was

646
00:39:56.760 --> 00:40:00.320
able to use my cell phone because I paid the bill. Right.

647
00:40:00.400 --> 00:40:03.519
It doesn't have to be I think sometimes we think

648
00:40:03.519 --> 00:40:06.159
it has to be really grandiose and it's got to

649
00:40:06.199 --> 00:40:12.679
be amazing, and it's got to be like skyscrapers and millions. Yeah,

650
00:40:12.840 --> 00:40:16.280
sometimes it's as simple as I was able to eat

651
00:40:16.280 --> 00:40:22.320
an apple, right, it's not earth shattering, but it's forward movement.

652
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:24.639
And so I think just to start to look around

653
00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:27.480
at the little things because I used to go, yeah,

654
00:40:27.519 --> 00:40:31.559
whatever whatever, I'm grateful that I was able to buy

655
00:40:31.559 --> 00:40:33.639
something that I have trash that I can throw away,

656
00:40:33.960 --> 00:40:38.719
right Like, I just I think it is easy to

657
00:40:38.719 --> 00:40:41.239
get into that mindset of like, oh my gosh, and

658
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:44.079
I've got to get out of here tomorrow. You didn't

659
00:40:44.119 --> 00:40:45.639
get there in a day. You're not going to get

660
00:40:45.639 --> 00:40:47.320
out of it a day. So I think if you

661
00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:50.800
can keep saying to yourself, you know what, this too

662
00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:53.199
shall pass. I heard somebody say, you know, the best

663
00:40:53.239 --> 00:40:56.559
thing and the worst thing about like some amazing accomplishment

664
00:40:56.880 --> 00:41:00.719
or some devastating life event, this you shall pass.

665
00:41:01.920 --> 00:41:09.440
Yeah, you're making me think of you know, there's I

666
00:41:10.079 --> 00:41:13.360
have gone through. Well, there's several things in my journey

667
00:41:14.159 --> 00:41:17.440
that has informed me being a financial advisor, and a

668
00:41:17.519 --> 00:41:22.119
lot of mistakes that I've made. How can gratitude help

669
00:41:22.199 --> 00:41:27.199
us forgive ourselves? There's another side of this coin, right, yeah,

670
00:41:28.280 --> 00:41:33.760
help us forgive ourselves for past financial mistakes. What do

671
00:41:33.800 --> 00:41:34.280
you think?

672
00:41:34.559 --> 00:41:36.480
Well, I mean, the first thing is I'm grateful for

673
00:41:36.519 --> 00:41:38.440
my mistakes because I learned. I don't want to do

674
00:41:38.480 --> 00:41:43.800
that again. Yeah right, I'm grateful that I didn't have

675
00:41:43.840 --> 00:41:48.239
it all come so easy. Yeah, because when I stumble,

676
00:41:48.840 --> 00:41:52.280
I remember that more than when everything comes easy.

677
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:54.079
Yeah.

678
00:41:54.199 --> 00:41:56.960
So I think to me to be able to say, yeah,

679
00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:00.719
I'm grateful that I made some mistakes and I it

680
00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:05.119
is hard often to say, you know what, I forgive

681
00:42:05.159 --> 00:42:08.719
myself like I didn't have all the tools, I didn't

682
00:42:08.760 --> 00:42:12.920
have all the resources. My parents didn't know. Not their fault,

683
00:42:14.039 --> 00:42:16.880
Like I did the best I could, but I did

684
00:42:16.920 --> 00:42:20.760
the best I could, and do it. If you've done

685
00:42:20.800 --> 00:42:24.119
the best you could even though you had limited resources

686
00:42:24.199 --> 00:42:28.400
or no resources or no information, be a little forgiving,

687
00:42:29.039 --> 00:42:33.239
be a little kind. I think it's easier for us

688
00:42:33.320 --> 00:42:36.159
to advocate for other people. It's easier for us to

689
00:42:36.199 --> 00:42:39.800
be kind to other people, and sometimes to just turn

690
00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:44.000
it on ourselves and say, yeah, I did pretty good

691
00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:47.199
all things considered. Yeah, And at the end of the day,

692
00:42:47.679 --> 00:42:51.800
I'm still here regardless of all my mistakes. I'm still

693
00:42:51.840 --> 00:42:54.599
here and I still have as long as I have

694
00:42:54.760 --> 00:42:59.000
opportunity to make amends or to keep going forward, Like

695
00:42:59.119 --> 00:43:02.480
that's all I can do. I can I can apologize

696
00:43:02.559 --> 00:43:06.199
for how I hurt people. I can apologize for missing things,

697
00:43:06.480 --> 00:43:09.440
I can apologize for not doing it the best, and

698
00:43:09.519 --> 00:43:11.480
I can hold myself accountable. But I'm not going to

699
00:43:11.519 --> 00:43:15.360
take myself out for the rest of my life for

700
00:43:15.599 --> 00:43:17.920
doing something that I didn't really know what.

701
00:43:17.880 --> 00:43:18.360
I was doing.

702
00:43:18.639 --> 00:43:23.119
Right, Yeah, yeah, because if I was, I'm not the

703
00:43:23.159 --> 00:43:26.599
same person that I was. Like back in two thousand

704
00:43:26.599 --> 00:43:30.480
and eight when the world was in all is financial chaos,

705
00:43:31.320 --> 00:43:34.239
I wouldn't have made I wouldn't make those same mistakes today.

706
00:43:34.239 --> 00:43:37.639
But that's because I learned right, that's right.

707
00:43:38.880 --> 00:43:41.119
That's right, and sometimes we have to. It takes ten

708
00:43:41.159 --> 00:43:42.760
times for us to learn it, and then we're like, okay,

709
00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:45.960
go I got it. Now stop.

710
00:43:48.760 --> 00:43:53.639
Well as usual, our time is drawing to a close.

711
00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:57.440
I always go, I'm like, I thought we were ten

712
00:43:57.480 --> 00:44:01.679
minutes in. I thought no, yeah, and.

713
00:44:02.039 --> 00:44:04.880
So we need to I need to kind of start

714
00:44:04.920 --> 00:44:07.800
wrapping this up. I've loved having this time with you.

715
00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:11.920
And if listeners could do just one thing, let's kind

716
00:44:11.960 --> 00:44:16.079
of end with what's the one takeaway? If listeners could

717
00:44:16.079 --> 00:44:21.079
do just one thing today to feel more grounded, grateful,

718
00:44:21.320 --> 00:44:25.880
and financially at peace, what would you leave people with?

719
00:44:27.920 --> 00:44:36.199
I would lead with be curious, Be curious, because if

720
00:44:36.239 --> 00:44:39.320
I'm not curious, if I'm not curious about you, then

721
00:44:39.320 --> 00:44:41.280
I don't really get to know you. If I'm not

722
00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:44.280
curious about me, I don't really get to know me.

723
00:44:44.599 --> 00:44:48.840
I can live this little story in my head, and

724
00:44:49.199 --> 00:44:52.519
if I actually start looking at all the parts of me,

725
00:44:52.679 --> 00:44:54.760
the parts I think are ugly, and the parts that

726
00:44:54.800 --> 00:44:57.239
I wish I could change, and the parts that I

727
00:44:57.239 --> 00:45:01.840
actually really appreciate about myself. Like I just think it's

728
00:45:01.880 --> 00:45:05.000
so where I think we don't get curious enough and

729
00:45:05.280 --> 00:45:07.760
being a lifetime learner like you were talking about, I

730
00:45:07.800 --> 00:45:10.480
want to keep asking how can I keep showing up

731
00:45:10.519 --> 00:45:14.519
in a way that feels authentic and that feels like

732
00:45:14.639 --> 00:45:18.880
I'm being of service without taking myself out right?

733
00:45:20.079 --> 00:45:26.960
Awesome, Well, Bob, what a great This has just been

734
00:45:27.000 --> 00:45:31.559
so wonderful to talk about this. And you know, everyone

735
00:45:31.679 --> 00:45:34.800
can take something out of this. Maybe they go and

736
00:45:34.840 --> 00:45:38.320
get a five year journal. Maybe they just put a

737
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:41.400
piece of paper by their bed tonight and or in

738
00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:44.800
the morning and start writing things down. Maybe they just

739
00:45:44.840 --> 00:45:46.719
start doing some affirmations. Who knows.

740
00:45:47.159 --> 00:45:51.840
Absolutely start with I'm enough, I have enough, I'm enough,

741
00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:52.679
I have enough.

742
00:45:53.239 --> 00:45:55.880
Yeah, you don't need to go to Fiji or Africa

743
00:45:55.960 --> 00:45:58.480
or Nepal to find out that you have enough.

744
00:45:58.960 --> 00:46:01.559
Yeah, absolutely absolutely.

745
00:46:03.000 --> 00:46:07.679
So with that we need to wrap this up and

746
00:46:07.880 --> 00:46:13.679
so Bob, thank you so much for being with us today,

747
00:46:13.719 --> 00:46:17.960
my pleasure. Thank you. And with that we'll say thank

748
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:20.880
you for joining the Ask Good Questions podcast. See you

749
00:46:20.920 --> 00:46:21.440
next time.

750
00:46:25.719 --> 00:46:29.320
Today's episode is over. But we did ask Good Questions again,

751
00:46:29.440 --> 00:46:33.639
didn't We don't miss out as we broadcast live every Wednesday,

752
00:46:33.719 --> 00:46:37.440
six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

753
00:46:37.639 --> 00:46:41.119
w four cy dot com. Joined Nina Bellen. We're saying

754
00:46:41.239 --> 00:46:45.920
next week for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement,

755
00:46:46.039 --> 00:46:50.559
behavioral finance issues, health and wellness and more. Until then,

756
00:46:51.039 --> 00:46:53.880
remember to ask good questions.