Jan. 28, 2026

Cyber-Safe Seniors: How to Protect Your Identity, Money & Peace of Mind

Cyber-Safe Seniors: How to Protect Your Identity, Money & Peace of Mind
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Season 2

Scammers are getting smarter! Robert Siciliano, CEO of Protect Now & a go-to experts on cybercrime & identity theft, breaks down how criminals actually operate & what you can do to shut them down. You’ll learn to recognize red flags in emails, texts, & phone calls, build safer passwords, & avoid social media traps. Whether you’re retired, or helping parents navigate the digital world, you’ll walk away with practical tools to protect both your finances & your future. Email me at bonita@tencap.com

Ask Good Questions is broadcast live Wednesdays at 6PM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Ask Good Questions is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).

Ask Good Questions Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/ask-good-questions--6441735/support.

WEBVTT

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The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are

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solely those of the hosts and their guests and not

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those of W FOURCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We

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make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,

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or products mentioned on air or on our web. No

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liability explicitor implies shall be extended to W FOURCY Radio

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or it's employees are affiliates. Any questions or comments should

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be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing

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W FOURCY Radio.

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Welcome to to Ask Good Questions Podcasts, broadcasting live every Wednesday,

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six pm Eastern Time on W four CY Radio at

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w fourcy dot com. This week and every week, we

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will reach for a higher purpose in money and life,

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as well as a focus on health and wellness. Now,

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let's join your hosts, Banita Bell Anderson as together we

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start with Asking Good Questions.

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Hey, hello, and welcome to the Ask Good Questions podcast. Today,

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I am dressed in black to you know, I don't know,

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just be kind of in the mood for the topic today.

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We're going to be talking about identity theft and cybersecurity

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and a whole bunch of things that I am very

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concerned about making sure that you are up to speed

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on and you know what is up. I was actually

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talking to a daughter and a granddaughter earlier this morning,

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and my daughter was saying, Hey, you know, scam likely

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calls me all the time, and I said, you know what, Rachel,

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Scam likely calls me all the time too. So today

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we're going to get some answers on how to deal

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with those types of things. So I'd like to invite Robert.

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If I say this name correct, I want to say

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Italian Ceciliano. He can correct me. How am I doing?

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Robert?

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Did I butcher your last name?

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I was perfect? Did it good?

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I just want to go to Italia and the CID.

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It just sounds like you should be from Cyprus or.

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Something sicily sicily Yes.

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Well. Robert is a cyber security expert duh. He's a

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private investigator, he's a certified speaking professional, and he is

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the CEO of protect Now, LLC. And he is one

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of the nation's top trusted voices on cybercrime and identity theft.

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He's built this fantastic network and he's appeared on over

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five hundred television shows. He's a fierce advocate for personal

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and professional security, and he even has a certification program

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and he's the best selling author who strips away technical

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jargon so that you know, people can understand. Nobody does

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anything unless they understand and have, you know, some direction

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on how to do it right, right, So you want

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to add anything to that.

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Robert, No, that was great, thank you.

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Well, uh so tell me where you're coming from.

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I'm in Boston, Massachusetts, so just you know, yeah, yeah,

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and so everybody knows I have never ever poketaka in

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Havid yad ever. Yeah, no, I've had a wicked little

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bits in Fenway Park though.

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I really am okay, all right, I've unleashed a monster. So, Robert,

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we have some really important stuff, and I want this

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to be something where people take it serious and then

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go forward with some actions that they can take today

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so that they're safer because scam likely is calling me,

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and if they're called me and my daughter, I'm sure

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they're calling everybody else too.

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Yeah, that's so funny, scal like like it's called a

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I D. That's good. Yeah.

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So well, you're known as you know, like you know

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what I was saying, You're known as that as an

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expert in this. How in the world did you get

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into this kind of work?

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Oh, I've been involved in personal security since I was twelve.

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I was mugged in downtown Boston on I was a kid.

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I was with my little brother and five kids approached

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and they took our money, and that like kind of

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messed my head up a little bit, right, And that

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was like when I was twelve. And when I was thirteen,

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I was at summer camp and I met a young

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girl and you know, back then and we're talking like,

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you know, forty plus years ago, kids didn't really know

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what like sex was, right, But she said to me

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one day after camp, She's like, I think you should

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know that my mother's boyfriend raped me. And I was like,

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I looked at her face and I was like, I,

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you know, I don't know what to say. I don't

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what to do. And I go home and I say

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to my dad, Dad, what is rape? Because it had

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no idea what she was talking about, but I just

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knew it was bad by the way she said it.

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So from that point on, once you explained to me, right,

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dealing with my own multiple attack situation, what she'd gone through,

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personal protection became a primary focus of me at an

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early age. It just did. I mean, from that point on,

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I just started to consume everything that I could on

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the topic, on the issue. And then by like the

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mid nineties, I had my first computer, Like in nineteen

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ninety five, I had an IBM PS one consultant, which

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is like Windows three point zero with a one hundred

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and fifty megabyte hard drive. I was like one of

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the first people that I knew online, you know. And

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then early into that my computer got hacked. In the nineties,

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I suffered thousands of dollars in credit card fraud. And

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from that point on, I was like, personal security became

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something more than physical security. It became information security, it

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became identity theft, right, And this is in the mid nineties.

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So by nine to eleven I had been entrenched in

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personal protection, and right after nine to eleven I went

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full time with this. You know, I'd been in the

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trades prior to that. But after nine to eleven, like

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everything that I had been saying now at this point

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for close to a decade or more, began to resonate

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and make a lot of sense. And that time I

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have seen the evolution of cybercrime and personal protection at

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a level that like, it's just kind of out of

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control for most people, and most people don't know what

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to do, how to react to how to respond. But

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I do, and I provide that level of basic intelligence

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to my audience so that they are informed. And once

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you are for warned, you are for armed. And really,

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most of this stuff is pretty easy as long as

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you do the basics, understanding and recognizing risk as a

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matter of kind of taking it to heart, making sense

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of all of it, and doing something about it.

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Yeah, well, what you know going forward? What is it

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that words you the most?

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You know, I've been saying to my audience for thirty years. Listen,

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with all of this stuff that I talk about, don't

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worry about any of it, just do something about it. However, However,

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in the past year or two, with AI and deep

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fakes and voice cloning, I'm a bit worried, and I

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think that we should worry a little bit due to

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the fact that human beings are completely incapable of telling

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real from fake. When it comes to these fakes, the

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audio clones. Forget about it. There is nothing that you

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can do to prevent that. You can't really determine what's

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rail or fake, and then as far as the video

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clones you know, face overlay and so forth. The technology

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is there right now to perfect you know, basically video,

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but it's not readily available to the public. It's there,

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it's just not consumable when that is deployed, when it

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becomes available to everybody, to the masses, that's what it's

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going to be really difficult. So right now, the basic

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thing that you're supposed to do is kind of look

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at every single incoming call, email and phone call and deduce, Okay,

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what is happening here? Is this railer fake? What is

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the motivation on the person on the other end, Is

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my loved one really distressed or at issue? Or is

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this really an investment scheme or fraud?

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And so on?

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Like you really have to be critical in you're thinking

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going forward?

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Yeah are you? I'm just thinking if anybody's asking you

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to do anything on a phone call or an email,

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yeah you should do it. Exactly what you're saying, yeah, don't.

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Yeah. It really boils down to basic common sense like

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is your is your is your grandson really being kidnapped?

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Is your daughter really being kidnapped? Like all of these

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ruses and scams are designed to get your blood pressure up,

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They're designed to freak you out. There's some urgency to

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all of them. And then the other side of it

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is like some of them are revolve around loneliness, you know,

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getting your your your emotions all involved. Like if you're

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just paying attention, then you really shouldn't get scammed. It's

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kind of interesting and fascinating what they do and how

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they do it. But in the end, like we with

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life experience should be able to tell right from wrong.

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Yeah, right, Well, what would you say to someone who says, oh,

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this is scaring the crap out of me. I'm not techie.

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They're they're embarrassed about their tech skills. What would you

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say to somebody? Would you say, go back to what

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you just said about being aware and thinking about what

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is this relief? Maybe tech skills doesn't have anything to

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do with it.

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Well, the good news is first, the presentations that I

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deliver when I'm in front of a live audience, I

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don't speak tech. I don't do any technical jargon. Right,

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My presentations are jogging free and I just speak like

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you know, normal, like you and I having a conversation okay,

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and I don't provide any advice that would require any

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technical skills either. It's all basic one O one stuff

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like if you know how to log into email, if

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you know how to post an update to say Facebook,

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if you know how to send a text message. Like,

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that's all the basic administration that you need to know

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to do the majority of the cybersecurity stuff that you

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need to to make sure that the bad guys look

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at you as a tougher target. So it's all actually

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really simple. You don't have to be really even tech

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savvy or like some type of an engineer of sorts.

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You just have to use common sense and use your

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basic skills. It's like if you know how to bake

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a cake, then you know how to you know, follow

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a recipe and get all the ingredients with all the

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recipe and put it all together. Well, that's all security is.

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This is just a matter of following certain processes and

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engaging in certain habits. And once you do all these

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different things regularly, creating these habits, then again you've become

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a tougher target. It really is as simple as that, right, So, Robert,

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you turn.

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Yourself into the typical scammer from the criminal's point of view,

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walk us through a typical scam, so we understand how

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how they think and how they operate.

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So all the inbound communications email, phone, text, even in person. Right,

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bad guys have access to technology to scale their operations

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in such a way where they can send out millions

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of emails, millions of text messages, make millions of phone

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calls like simultaneously, right, and AI allows them to do that.

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And then once we react and respond, We respond to

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that text message, we respond to the phone call, we

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respond to the email. The idea behind all of those

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responses is that you now are engaging the criminal in

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such a way where you're saying things and putting words

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into texts and so forth that allow for a response,

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whatever that response might be, okay. So what they're looking

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for is for you to not know immediately that that

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inbound phone call, email, or text is a scam. So,

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for example, all of those wrong number of text messages

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that you get, they're all scams, every single one of

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them are a scam. But I got one yesterday this

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said like happy New Year, Robert, I hope you are

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doing well. I wish you a prosperous year. And then

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that was it, and then I looked at the phone

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number and I couldn't find it online. I looked it

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up in my email as somebody who I might have

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been in contact with and could have been in my email.

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I didn't know who it was, so I didn't respond

224
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to it, and I just deleted it because they didn't

225
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:05.559
identify themselves. They said my name, certainly, but the phone

226
00:13:05.639 --> 00:13:08.320
number was not showing up anywhere in the web or

227
00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:11.759
in my inbox or on my phone either, So it

228
00:13:11.919 --> 00:13:14.320
was a scam. But they knew my name. But all

229
00:13:14.360 --> 00:13:17.360
I did was, ultimately, after the research, just delete the thing.

230
00:13:17.600 --> 00:13:20.399
I didn't respond with who's this, I'm sorry, I don't

231
00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:21.799
have you on my car. I didn't do any of

232
00:13:21.840 --> 00:13:24.320
that stuff. I just did my own research to find

233
00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:27.039
out do I know this person? And apparently I don't,

234
00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:30.120
so it's a scam. Now, if that person really was

235
00:13:30.200 --> 00:13:32.399
somebody that I knew, they would have shown up somewhere.

236
00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:34.600
They would have made more of an effort. They would

237
00:13:34.639 --> 00:13:37.279
have responded back to me and said, hey, this is

238
00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:39.600
this and so and so, But they didn't. It was

239
00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:45.080
just a robo text. Same thing with email. When the

240
00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:48.240
inbound email comes in, if it's of an urgent nature,

241
00:13:48.480 --> 00:13:51.399
if it's asking for financial information, if it's a threat

242
00:13:51.480 --> 00:13:54.039
of some sort, I'm going to do a research on

243
00:13:54.639 --> 00:13:59.000
the email address, on the person who is corresponding with

244
00:13:59.320 --> 00:14:01.720
anything about that communication that I may be able to

245
00:14:02.320 --> 00:14:06.360
deduce if it's actually my bank or my financial institution,

246
00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:10.039
or a colleague and so forth. And after a period

247
00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:12.879
of time, like you start to look at these inbound

248
00:14:12.879 --> 00:14:15.039
communications and go, you know what, I don't even need

249
00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:17.200
to do any research on that text message. I don't

250
00:14:17.240 --> 00:14:19.279
need to do any research on that email because I've

251
00:14:19.360 --> 00:14:20.960
done all that before. You know what it is. It's

252
00:14:21.080 --> 00:14:23.600
just fraud, it's just scams. I don't need to deal

253
00:14:23.679 --> 00:14:25.799
with any of this stuff. I'm just gonna hit delete.

254
00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:29.159
And so once you become savvy to that stuff by

255
00:14:29.279 --> 00:14:32.039
you know, doing the basics, working the research at the

256
00:14:32.120 --> 00:14:34.559
beginning of like trying to figure these things out, then

257
00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:38.000
you start to see a pattern. And the pattern is

258
00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:40.759
is they're all fraud, they're all scams, it's all bs,

259
00:14:41.399 --> 00:14:43.600
and it's just a waste of your time in the

260
00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:46.519
end to even do any of the research or administration

261
00:14:46.639 --> 00:14:48.360
on it. The best thing to do really is just

262
00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:49.159
to hit the lead.

263
00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:53.080
There's one instance that you just made me think of

264
00:14:53.720 --> 00:14:57.639
where somebody's calling you and they're trying to get you

265
00:14:57.879 --> 00:15:02.840
to answer yes. Because this scared the crap out of

266
00:15:02.919 --> 00:15:05.080
me because it was like, well, if they can get

267
00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:09.639
you get your voice saying yes, then they can record

268
00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:11.919
that and then use it in a different way.

269
00:15:13.240 --> 00:15:17.519
Yeah. So voice biometrics, where banks might use that information

270
00:15:17.639 --> 00:15:20.639
to identify or authentic get their clients and so forth,

271
00:15:21.759 --> 00:15:24.919
in some ways has been and can be compromised. However,

272
00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:28.399
the companies that provide these technologies are getting better at

273
00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:32.120
determining rail and fake. They're getting better at determining recordings

274
00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:35.559
and so forth. And even though that is an issue,

275
00:15:36.039 --> 00:15:38.720
I don't know like how popular it is or how

276
00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:41.480
widespread it is. I've never received one of those phone calls.

277
00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:43.720
I know it's a thing. I do know that if

278
00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:46.240
I don't recognize the phone number, then I'm going to

279
00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:48.480
let it go to voicemail. And when I do get

280
00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:51.480
various phone calls from whoever it might be, I'm very

281
00:15:51.639 --> 00:15:55.639
cognizant and cautious to react to respond verbally in any

282
00:15:55.720 --> 00:15:58.559
way before I have a really good sense on whether

283
00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:00.799
or not it's rail or fake. The majority of the time,

284
00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:05.039
it's just fake. You know. So when you're getting those

285
00:16:05.039 --> 00:16:08.360
phone calls, when you're getting those those inbound communications, I say,

286
00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:11.799
the majority of the time, just let it go to voicemail,

287
00:16:12.440 --> 00:16:14.759
you know, just let it go to voicemail. Like, if

288
00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:16.559
your bank really needs you, they're going to find the

289
00:16:16.600 --> 00:16:18.440
way to get in touch with you, probably through the

290
00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:20.600
US postal right. Right.

291
00:16:21.080 --> 00:16:24.279
Well, and also every time that there's been something about

292
00:16:24.360 --> 00:16:27.600
my bank, I just call the bank, Call the bank.

293
00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:31.320
Yeah, bypass all that, bypass all those inbounds.

294
00:16:31.919 --> 00:16:32.120
Yeah.

295
00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:35.440
One hundred percent of the time, there's no issue with

296
00:16:35.639 --> 00:16:40.159
my account. It's just fine. And so yeah, so that

297
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:43.799
would be another high level thing to remember to do

298
00:16:44.080 --> 00:16:48.080
is just call you know, if it's a grand call

299
00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:51.919
your daughter, call call a family member and find out,

300
00:16:52.039 --> 00:16:54.799
you know, what's going on with the family member. Call

301
00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:59.039
the bank, call whatever. So that's you know, the best

302
00:16:59.080 --> 00:16:59.440
thing to do.

303
00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:02.639
So here's what a lot of this boils down to. Right, So,

304
00:17:02.840 --> 00:17:04.920
the majority of the people that are you know, watching,

305
00:17:05.039 --> 00:17:07.920
listening and so forth, all of our lives ever since

306
00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:10.519
we were little, ever since we were kids, right, watching TV,

307
00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:15.079
listening to the radio, reading the newspaper, reading magazines. You know,

308
00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:20.359
Think think Time Magazine, New York Times, CNN, you know, MSNBC,

309
00:17:20.599 --> 00:17:23.960
Fox News, Wall Street Journal. Right, think of all the

310
00:17:24.400 --> 00:17:27.519
TV shows we've watched, all the news programs we've watched,

311
00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:31.599
We've all the books we've read. We've been consuming media

312
00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:35.480
our entire lives. We talked on the phone earl as

313
00:17:35.599 --> 00:17:37.599
kids for years. Loved talking on the phone. It was

314
00:17:37.640 --> 00:17:39.559
the greatest thing. Ever, then we've got cell phones, all

315
00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:42.200
this stuff. Now we've got text message, Now, we've got

316
00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:45.359
social media. Now we've got like just we're just bombarded

317
00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:47.920
with all kinds of stuff, and we're being bombarded with

318
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:50.440
fake news too. Okay, so all of us are of

319
00:17:50.519 --> 00:17:55.000
our lives, we've learned and grown to trust all this

320
00:17:55.359 --> 00:18:00.240
incoming stuff, all this incoming media, Okay. And so with

321
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:05.920
dozens and dozens of years of trusting inbound communications, consuming

322
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:14.920
all this trustworthy information, we still to a degree trust media. Right.

323
00:18:15.400 --> 00:18:21.240
When I say media, I mean like you know, phone calls, emails, video, audio,

324
00:18:21.880 --> 00:18:27.880
like you know, TV, radio, podcast extreming, social the written word,

325
00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:31.519
you know, online, We still to a degree trust that stuff,

326
00:18:31.839 --> 00:18:34.079
and we want to and we kind of need to

327
00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:37.799
to a certain degree. But I think that we're at

328
00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:40.200
a point now where I think all of us need

329
00:18:40.279 --> 00:18:42.799
to kind of like step back, and if you're not

330
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:44.799
reading it in the New York Times, if you're not

331
00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:46.720
reading it in the Wall Street Journal, if you're not

332
00:18:46.799 --> 00:18:50.359
reading it in Time magazine, if it's not actually on

333
00:18:50.839 --> 00:18:53.599
CNN or Fox News for that matter, if it's not

334
00:18:53.880 --> 00:18:58.680
actually on a trusted news source, if it's just via

335
00:18:58.759 --> 00:19:04.519
phone call, email tech, then you can't just automatically believe it.

336
00:19:04.599 --> 00:19:08.680
You can't just automatically trust this inbound media. You need

337
00:19:08.759 --> 00:19:11.880
to really like kind of take a step back and go, yeah,

338
00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:15.799
not everything is worthy of my trust any longer. My

339
00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:17.359
mother used to say to me when I was growing up,

340
00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:20.359
believe nothing of what you hear in half of what

341
00:19:20.519 --> 00:19:24.720
you see, And today you might believe almost nothing of

342
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:27.079
what you hear and nothing of what you see. To

343
00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:29.680
a degree like you kind of need to like really

344
00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:32.240
kick back and just you know. And we could spend

345
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:35.759
hours and days talking about a thousand different scams and

346
00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:38.200
what they look like and how they operate and what

347
00:19:38.319 --> 00:19:40.559
the motivation is, But in the end, I don't know

348
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:42.440
that any of that really matters. I think what really

349
00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:44.680
matters the most is you just need to kind of

350
00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:47.119
stop what you're doing and think about, like, Okay, what

351
00:19:47.319 --> 00:19:49.839
is this actually trying to get me to do? What

352
00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:54.119
is really going on here? What is this inbound request

353
00:19:54.359 --> 00:19:57.480
really mean to me? And if I engage in it,

354
00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:01.960
what's the negative outcome? As much as it might upset

355
00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:05.000
me that my grandson is is at risk, or my

356
00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:09.599
daughter is kidnapped, or my bank account's been compromised, is

357
00:20:09.640 --> 00:20:12.920
that really happening? Is that really a thing? You know?

358
00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:16.759
What's the likelihood of that really being the case? And

359
00:20:16.839 --> 00:20:19.440
the answer is now, I really don't think your daughter

360
00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:22.519
is being kidnapped, or your son's you know, been arrested,

361
00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:24.960
or your bank account's been com I don't think that

362
00:20:25.079 --> 00:20:26.039
any of that's really happening.

363
00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:32.400
Well, let's wrap up. So so those so everybody's familiar

364
00:20:32.440 --> 00:20:34.079
with this sort of thing. So what would you say

365
00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:37.519
would be the top three red flags? The top that

366
00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:41.079
would instantly instantly make them you know, because what we're

367
00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:45.039
what we're talking about is we're talking about changing people's

368
00:20:47.559 --> 00:20:50.480
how they react. I guess right, what we're doing is

369
00:20:50.559 --> 00:20:52.680
you and I are trying to help people react in

370
00:20:52.759 --> 00:20:56.480
a different way so they change their behavior so they're safer.

371
00:20:58.400 --> 00:20:59.480
Red flags Yeah.

372
00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:05.079
So, first and foremost, anytime there's any urgency at all

373
00:21:06.519 --> 00:21:11.920
at all, that's probably fraud. Anytime someone's life is at risk,

374
00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:16.359
someone's account is at risk, your money's at risk, that's

375
00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:20.559
pretty much one hundred percent of the time fraud, any

376
00:21:20.680 --> 00:21:28.400
urgency whatsoever, Okay, anytime there's any finances involved anytime, right, Like,

377
00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:34.519
I do not make large financial decisions without the guidance

378
00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:38.119
of my financial service professional. I do not invest in

379
00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:44.319
crypto or make stock purchases or move money unless I

380
00:21:44.519 --> 00:21:48.079
talk to either or both my accountant or my financial

381
00:21:48.119 --> 00:21:51.720
service professional, and I know what I'm doing, but they

382
00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:55.359
know what they're doing. Okay, So I'm not going to

383
00:21:55.799 --> 00:21:59.240
invest in crypto based on a text message or an

384
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:05.920
email for someone it as goofy as that sounds. I

385
00:22:06.119 --> 00:22:08.839
have come face to face with people who have done

386
00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:14.200
that and have lost six and seven figures. Well, Robert,

387
00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:20.559
this keeps happening, so it must be profitable for the scammers. Yeah,

388
00:22:20.880 --> 00:22:25.559
of course, Yeah, it keeps happening because we as a species,

389
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:31.039
by default, trust and we want to believe in our

390
00:22:31.079 --> 00:22:35.200
fellow human even if they're digital and thousands of miles away,

391
00:22:35.400 --> 00:22:37.359
or we've never met them, or it's over the phone

392
00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:40.640
or even over a video from afar. We just want

393
00:22:40.839 --> 00:22:44.960
to in need to trust others. That is our inherent

394
00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:50.319
want in need. It's more normal to trust others than

395
00:22:50.359 --> 00:22:54.599
it is to not trust others. Not trusting others goes

396
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:57.960
against our core beliefs. Do you understand that we want

397
00:22:58.039 --> 00:23:01.119
to in need to trust as an in dependent species,

398
00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:05.519
Not trusting is not normal. We fight against not trusting.

399
00:23:05.880 --> 00:23:08.720
We always give the benefit of the doubt, or too

400
00:23:08.839 --> 00:23:12.519
much for that matter. And when you understand that core concept,

401
00:23:13.240 --> 00:23:19.839
then not trusting automatically anytime there's money involved, anytime there's

402
00:23:19.960 --> 00:23:25.039
urgency involved, then if you understand those three core things,

403
00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:26.799
really you should be good.

404
00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:32.880
Yeah. So okay, so probably we're going to change gears

405
00:23:32.920 --> 00:23:36.519
here a little bit. Let's talk about passwords because I

406
00:23:36.680 --> 00:23:39.519
know for my clients that has been something that has

407
00:23:39.799 --> 00:23:45.319
just driven people crazy and many people reuse. In fact,

408
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:49.680
I was going through my security on Google Drive the

409
00:23:49.759 --> 00:23:54.839
other day. Many people reuse the same password everywhere. How

410
00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:56.279
big of a risk is that?

411
00:23:56.519 --> 00:23:56.759
Really?

412
00:23:57.599 --> 00:24:00.960
Okay, what's a realistic pass word strategy?

413
00:24:01.400 --> 00:24:04.400
So this is about as technical as we're going to get. Okay, Okay,

414
00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:09.000
password management really is a pretty simple process. It's a

415
00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:12.519
really simple strategy, Okay, And it's simple. Think of it

416
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:15.079
like this, right, Like I got a mobile phone. You

417
00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:18.160
got a mobile phone. I don't know my mother's phone number.

418
00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:20.960
I don't know my father's phone number. Right. I never

419
00:24:21.079 --> 00:24:24.599
really committed it to memory, never had to, because this

420
00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:30.839
thing did it for me, right, Okay. So, just like

421
00:24:30.960 --> 00:24:33.799
your mobile phone or your your your phone book or

422
00:24:33.880 --> 00:24:36.279
contact manager, whatever you want to call it, your contact list,

423
00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:40.319
a password manager is just a software program that you

424
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:43.720
download an install onto your computer. It works with your browser,

425
00:24:44.119 --> 00:24:48.000
whatever your browser is is, whether it's Chrome or Firefox

426
00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:52.880
or Edge or Safari. Right. Apple has their own proprietary

427
00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:56.960
password manager this. If you search the term password manager,

428
00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:59.160
there's hundreds of them out there, there's probably about a

429
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:02.640
dozen that are really good. Right. Just search password manage

430
00:25:02.640 --> 00:25:05.119
your on Google and you'll find all kinds of options. Well,

431
00:25:05.160 --> 00:25:08.160
what if the password manager gets hacked? Not worried about that.

432
00:25:08.839 --> 00:25:14.920
The password manager companies are security companies with bank level,

433
00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:18.559
military grade encryption. I'm not worried about the password managers

434
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:21.880
getting hacked. Okay. That being said, once you download this

435
00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:25.359
password manager, it's just like using any other software program.

436
00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:28.519
Microsoft Word or anything else that you might use. Right,

437
00:25:29.039 --> 00:25:32.480
you get to understand how it works, right, and what

438
00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:37.160
it does is is it automatically creates passwords for you

439
00:25:37.319 --> 00:25:41.240
uppercase lowercase numbers and characters, write long, strong passwords that

440
00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:43.640
you're never going to have to remember. And then when

441
00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:46.559
you visit a website like Bank of America, Let's say

442
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:49.480
you create this pass code, you change up the Bank

443
00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:52.119
of America pass code, you plug it into Bank of America,

444
00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:55.279
and then once you do that, the password manager says, okay,

445
00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:57.599
do you want me to remember the Bank of America password?

446
00:25:57.920 --> 00:25:59.880
And you're like, of course I do, and then it

447
00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:02.440
saves it for you. So next time you want to

448
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:04.200
log into Bank of America, you go back to your

449
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:07.119
password manager. You just hit Bank of America and the

450
00:26:07.160 --> 00:26:10.359
password manager and it takes you directly to Bankofamerica. Dot

451
00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:13.279
Com goes to the login page plugs and you use

452
00:26:13.319 --> 00:26:15.680
a name plugs in your passcode and you get to go.

453
00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:18.880
It's as simple as that. Like any other software program,

454
00:26:18.920 --> 00:26:20.880
there's a bit of a learning curve, but once you

455
00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:24.160
spend the time with it, right, you get to know it,

456
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:26.720
and it's like anything else you know, you become better

457
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:28.400
at it. Over time, it becomes a part of your

458
00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:31.480
life as you spend time with it. And I've been

459
00:26:31.559 --> 00:26:34.319
using a password manager now for twenty plus years. I

460
00:26:34.359 --> 00:26:36.240
would say for the twenty bucks a year that I

461
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:39.440
spend on it, it is absolutely the best use of

462
00:26:39.559 --> 00:26:41.799
my time and my money when it comes to my security.

463
00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:50.079
Yeah, yeah, really that's probably use a password manager, whatever

464
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:53.160
that is for you. Yeah, that's probably the best idea

465
00:26:54.160 --> 00:26:55.480
of the whole episode.

466
00:26:55.759 --> 00:26:58.759
Is easy and simple and like. And here's the problem

467
00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:03.119
with passwords. And you you already alluded to this. Ninety

468
00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:07.079
plus percent of us, all of us, ninety plus percent

469
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:10.599
are using the same pass code across multiple accounts. And

470
00:27:10.759 --> 00:27:13.480
here's the danger in that, even if it's a good,

471
00:27:13.559 --> 00:27:18.000
strong passcode, here's the danger in that, there are on

472
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:22.119
average about twenty five hundred data breaches every single year

473
00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:24.920
in the US. That means, you know, in ten years,

474
00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:28.960
that's about twenty five thousand and thirty data thirty thousand

475
00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:32.680
data breaches. That equates to about one hundred and seventy

476
00:27:32.799 --> 00:27:37.200
five billion compromise networks in the past, in the past

477
00:27:37.240 --> 00:27:42.079
what fifteen twenty years, one hundred and seventy five billion

478
00:27:42.359 --> 00:27:45.160
compromised records, so.

479
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:48.000
Your information being out there is probably very likely.

480
00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:51.960
It is out there. Okay, I've had criminal hackers email

481
00:27:52.039 --> 00:27:55.000
me my social security number and go hey, security guy. Hey,

482
00:27:55.039 --> 00:27:57.640
you go haha, just to flex their muscles to show

483
00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:00.799
me how cool they are, right, and I don't even

484
00:28:00.920 --> 00:28:03.960
care why because they have something called a credit freeze,

485
00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:06.000
and a credit freeze is a tool that you get

486
00:28:06.039 --> 00:28:08.799
for free through the credit bureaus that locks down your

487
00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:12.759
credit report. So getting a credit freeze makes my social

488
00:28:12.799 --> 00:28:16.400
security number useless to a thief. Getting a password manager

489
00:28:16.839 --> 00:28:21.400
and changing up your passwords makes your existing passwords useless

490
00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:23.720
to a thief. And on top of that, you set

491
00:28:23.799 --> 00:28:27.559
up two factor authentication. And two factor authentication is when

492
00:28:27.599 --> 00:28:30.519
you log in, say to Facebook, with your username and

493
00:28:30.599 --> 00:28:33.440
your passcode. Then you get a one time text message

494
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:36.880
to your phone. That one time text is that second factor.

495
00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:40.440
Your phone beam at second factor and that one really you.

496
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:43.559
Yes, it's really me exactly.

497
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:48.160
Yeah. So credit freeze is to protect your identity. Go

498
00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:53.519
to experience TransUnion and Equifax, right search credit Freeze via

499
00:28:53.640 --> 00:28:58.400
Google Right Credit Freeze, TransUnion Credit Freeze, Equifax Credit Freeze

500
00:28:59.119 --> 00:29:02.000
Experience and you'll find the page on each of the

501
00:29:02.039 --> 00:29:04.359
bureaus site to freeze your credit. Once you do that,

502
00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:09.200
you protect your identity. Search password manager in Google and

503
00:29:09.279 --> 00:29:11.240
you'll find all kinds of articles to talk about the

504
00:29:11.319 --> 00:29:14.799
top ten password managers. Download one of them, play with it,

505
00:29:14.920 --> 00:29:16.759
and spend some time with it, and before you know it,

506
00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:19.119
you're going to be an expert at it. Right, and

507
00:29:19.240 --> 00:29:24.640
then search PayPal two factor authentication, Gmail, two factor authentication,

508
00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:28.839
AOL two factor authentication, And by doing that search, you're

509
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:32.799
going to find a link on AOL or Yahoo or

510
00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:35.240
PayPal that shows you how to set up two factor

511
00:29:35.319 --> 00:29:38.640
authentication for that particular website. And once you do that,

512
00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:43.160
now you've got your passwords all locked down. You've got

513
00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:47.640
two factor authentication to like a backstop watching you back

514
00:29:47.880 --> 00:29:50.720
to protect you on all the various sites. And by

515
00:29:50.759 --> 00:29:52.839
getting a credit freeze, you protect your identity.

516
00:29:53.720 --> 00:29:56.519
Yeah. Well, you know there's another one that I thought of.

517
00:29:56.920 --> 00:30:00.920
There's all these variations, right, and this is we're on

518
00:30:01.079 --> 00:30:05.519
a trip. So we're on a trip, crosscut road, trip

519
00:30:06.359 --> 00:30:10.720
stop at a gas station, get some gas. About thirty

520
00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:16.519
seconds after leaving the gas station, we're getting a message

521
00:30:16.680 --> 00:30:22.079
from like Capital one that someone had stolen our credit

522
00:30:22.200 --> 00:30:24.000
card information at the gas pump.

523
00:30:24.440 --> 00:30:26.559
Okay, and so.

524
00:30:28.640 --> 00:30:30.960
Is that I mean one of the most common ways

525
00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:33.200
that identities are being stolen, would that be one of

526
00:30:33.279 --> 00:30:38.519
them is stealing credit card information and some random way

527
00:30:38.599 --> 00:30:38.920
out there.

528
00:30:39.440 --> 00:30:42.559
So let's back up a little bit. For your identity

529
00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:46.000
to be stolen, we're talking about your identity, your personal

530
00:30:46.119 --> 00:30:47.720
identifying information.

531
00:30:47.519 --> 00:30:50.039
Which is different from the credit card different.

532
00:30:50.519 --> 00:30:53.799
So your identity is your name, your address, your phone number,

533
00:30:54.599 --> 00:30:57.440
it's kind of your email address, and it's your social

534
00:30:57.480 --> 00:31:01.119
Security numbers, those five major things, right, and so for

535
00:31:01.160 --> 00:31:04.880
your identity to be stolen, that generally starts with your

536
00:31:04.920 --> 00:31:08.319
social Security number, and from there they open up new

537
00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:11.920
lines of credit using your name, maybe a different address,

538
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:16.400
maybe different phone number. But a stolen identity starts with

539
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:19.319
the social and then either your name or a variation

540
00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:21.920
of your name, either your address or a variation of

541
00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:26.240
your address, and so forth. Okay, to prevent a stolen identity,

542
00:31:26.599 --> 00:31:30.799
that's where credit freeze comes into place. Okay, Okay, credit

543
00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:34.319
cards different animal altogether. Now, if a bad guy wants

544
00:31:34.359 --> 00:31:37.319
to open up a new, brand new credit card under

545
00:31:37.359 --> 00:31:40.160
your name, a new line of credit from a bank

546
00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:42.200
that you've never done business with, the credit card you've

547
00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:45.440
never had before. Then they would need to steal your identity,

548
00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:47.119
and they get your social and they open up a

549
00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:49.480
new line of credit, a new credit card makes sense.

550
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:52.079
So just because just because they get the information on

551
00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:52.960
the credit card.

552
00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:59.000
Doesn't necessarily that's just credit card fraud, is what that is. Okay.

553
00:31:59.400 --> 00:32:01.359
So if you are if you're using your card at

554
00:32:01.400 --> 00:32:05.480
the gas station and five minutes later your card's being compromised,

555
00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:11.359
that's credit card fraud. That's not even identity theft, okay,

556
00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:14.319
it's just credit card fraud. And the way that you

557
00:32:14.440 --> 00:32:17.640
deal with credit card fraud is first and foremost, I

558
00:32:17.720 --> 00:32:20.519
don't worry about credit card fraud, meaning like it's not

559
00:32:20.599 --> 00:32:24.359
even a concern of mine. Right, if my credit card

560
00:32:24.440 --> 00:32:28.359
is compromised, if somebody uses it without my authorization, well

561
00:32:28.519 --> 00:32:30.640
what do I have to do? What are my options?

562
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:34.640
I just refute the unauthorized charge and it goes away.

563
00:32:35.279 --> 00:32:39.359
There's zero liability for me. So credit card fraud is

564
00:32:39.519 --> 00:32:46.000
easily remedied or mitigated by just simply calling the credit

565
00:32:46.039 --> 00:32:50.079
card company and saying that wasn't me refusing the charge, okay.

566
00:32:50.599 --> 00:32:53.400
And the way you do that is you monitor your statements. Now,

567
00:32:53.480 --> 00:32:56.920
the best way to monitor your credit card charges in

568
00:32:57.160 --> 00:33:01.079
real time is by setting up pushed ontification of push alerts,

569
00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:05.000
which means that either on the app on your phone

570
00:33:06.359 --> 00:33:11.359
get you get like a notification, a push notification, a

571
00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:14.200
pop up that says, hey, there's been some activity on

572
00:33:14.279 --> 00:33:16.880
your card. Now if I just use my credit card,

573
00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:18.880
I'm going to get a pop up that says, hey,

574
00:33:19.160 --> 00:33:21.039
you just use your credit card. I'm like, I know,

575
00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:23.599
because I just did. But if I get a notification

576
00:33:24.039 --> 00:33:26.079
that it was used at three o'clock in the morning

577
00:33:26.759 --> 00:33:30.599
at a gas station that I haven't been at, well,

578
00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:32.400
then I'm going to wake up the next morning and

579
00:33:32.599 --> 00:33:33.759
I'm going to see that. I'm going to call the

580
00:33:33.839 --> 00:33:38.720
credit card company and go, hey, that wasn't me. So

581
00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:42.079
you set up push notifications through your mobile apps and

582
00:33:42.559 --> 00:33:45.839
at the credit card company or bank's website. Just log

583
00:33:45.960 --> 00:33:49.519
into your menu and you'll see the notification settings or

584
00:33:49.559 --> 00:33:52.839
security settings, and you check every box. You're aware of

585
00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:58.119
all your charges as they occur. Right, that's it. You're

586
00:33:58.119 --> 00:33:59.319
making a bud.

587
00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:04.039
Yeah, well, I know. It's scared the crap out of

588
00:34:04.079 --> 00:34:06.240
a lot of people. Scared the crap out of my husband.

589
00:34:06.359 --> 00:34:09.760
Holy cow, he was just like so yeah, so it's

590
00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:11.760
good to put it's it's like, it's good to put

591
00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:13.239
this stuff in context too.

592
00:34:13.760 --> 00:34:17.519
Yeah. Yeah, credit card fraud is a non issue. Like

593
00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:19.920
I'm not concerned about my credit cards being compromised. Have

594
00:34:20.079 --> 00:34:22.000
they been compromised? Yeah, And I'll do is make a

595
00:34:22.039 --> 00:34:24.360
phone call and it's done. It's no problem. I don't

596
00:34:24.360 --> 00:34:27.480
worry about where it happened, who did it, how much

597
00:34:27.519 --> 00:34:31.239
they spent. I don't care, like just it makes no

598
00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:33.639
difference to me. It's a it's it's a it's just

599
00:34:33.719 --> 00:34:37.159
a simple fact of life. Well.

600
00:34:37.400 --> 00:34:43.360
Uh, social media is where most grandparents connect with their family. Yeah,

601
00:34:43.639 --> 00:34:46.920
but it can also connect a lot of uh, you know,

602
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:50.519
expose a lot of personal information. What are your top

603
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:54.679
tips for I mean, I whenever I see something about,

604
00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:57.239
oh I'm going on a trip or whatever, is like,

605
00:34:57.719 --> 00:34:59.840
tell people you're going on a trip. What are your

606
00:35:00.280 --> 00:35:03.519
tips for social media for the older crown?

607
00:35:04.760 --> 00:35:08.920
So I don't know that it's necessary to share as

608
00:35:09.000 --> 00:35:10.920
much as the majority of the people that share do.

609
00:35:12.320 --> 00:35:14.639
Yeah, I agree.

610
00:35:15.639 --> 00:35:20.079
I just don't see a reason to share your location,

611
00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:24.320
the fact that you're traveling. I don't know that it's

612
00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:27.719
necessary to post your whereabouts, the fact that you've left

613
00:35:27.760 --> 00:35:32.760
the house. I I just don't know that providing the

614
00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:37.960
intelligence that a bad guy could use against you is

615
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:44.400
a good idea. There's something called security through obscurity, and

616
00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:48.800
security through obscurity basically means that by basically like kind

617
00:35:48.840 --> 00:35:54.159
of hiding certain things, by making certain things obscure in

618
00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:57.599
a way, you're kind of protecting them, you know. And

619
00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:03.559
so by hiding location data by not revealing so much information,

620
00:36:03.880 --> 00:36:06.280
I mean, you wouldn't you wouldn't post your social security

621
00:36:06.360 --> 00:36:10.679
number on Facebook? No, So why are we posting where

622
00:36:10.760 --> 00:36:14.880
we are or where we aren't or all of this

623
00:36:15.039 --> 00:36:20.760
other ancillary data that can be compiled and used to identify, locate,

624
00:36:22.599 --> 00:36:26.519
compromise a password, Like, I just don't know that it's necessary.

625
00:36:26.679 --> 00:36:29.360
Just because others are doing it doesn't mean that you

626
00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:30.000
should too.

627
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:35.280
You know, There's and then there's that, and then there's

628
00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:40.000
one that I have been especially concerned about with my

629
00:36:40.280 --> 00:36:45.480
granddaughters using social media, and that's the whole romance scam

630
00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:51.519
thing that can be just downright heartbreaking because there's all

631
00:36:51.639 --> 00:36:53.519
kinds of things that that can lead into. But what

632
00:36:53.840 --> 00:36:58.719
patterns do you see there? And how can leved ones

633
00:37:00.480 --> 00:37:03.519
intervene if they see something crazy going on.

634
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:06.239
Yeah, here's how this works. This is pretty simple actually,

635
00:37:07.039 --> 00:37:11.960
So we as human beings, by default, we experience you know, like,

636
00:37:12.039 --> 00:37:15.360
for example, we experience hunger pains. You know, like if

637
00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:19.800
you're hungry, your body is designed to create an urgency

638
00:37:19.880 --> 00:37:23.639
within your body to find in forage for food. It's

639
00:37:23.679 --> 00:37:26.039
been like that for thousands and thousands and thousands of

640
00:37:26.119 --> 00:37:31.480
years as part of our evolution. Okay, well, loneliness, right

641
00:37:31.760 --> 00:37:34.840
is there. It's been there for thousands and thousands of years,

642
00:37:35.239 --> 00:37:39.440
right for evolution. And they call it the pain and

643
00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:43.800
the ache of loneliness, no different than hunger pains. So like,

644
00:37:43.920 --> 00:37:48.000
if you are, say solo, right, and you're at a

645
00:37:48.079 --> 00:37:50.079
certain point or age in your life, whatever it might be,

646
00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:53.599
and you begin to feel those pains and ache of loneliness,

647
00:37:53.800 --> 00:37:56.360
what does it do? It directs you and guides you

648
00:37:56.599 --> 00:38:03.119
towards finding companionship. Because we are social, interactive, interdependent creatures.

649
00:38:03.159 --> 00:38:06.639
We need each other for our survival, okay, for appropriation.

650
00:38:07.239 --> 00:38:13.119
So loneliness is natural and it's normal, right, And on average,

651
00:38:13.320 --> 00:38:18.039
about twenty five percent of all humans experience loneliness on

652
00:38:18.119 --> 00:38:21.599
a regular basis. Twenty five percent, you know, I've been

653
00:38:21.679 --> 00:38:24.400
married now for you know, twenty five plus years. I

654
00:38:24.519 --> 00:38:27.519
really haven't experienced loneliness myself since I was in my

655
00:38:27.639 --> 00:38:31.079
early twenties, right, But I know that like married couples

656
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:35.519
often experience loneliness, you know, in their marriage, like it's

657
00:38:35.559 --> 00:38:39.280
a normal thing, you know that. All that being said,

658
00:38:40.239 --> 00:38:45.719
when we are experiencing loneliness and we're contacted by someone

659
00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:50.039
or we reach out and they reach back digitally via text,

660
00:38:50.199 --> 00:38:54.320
via email, via phone, right, there is a high likelihood

661
00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:57.119
that if you are experiencing the pain and ache of

662
00:38:57.199 --> 00:39:01.079
loneliness and the person you are communicating with begins to

663
00:39:01.519 --> 00:39:07.280
soothe that pain in ache, and your focus now becomes

664
00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:13.559
that person. That if that relationship was created virtually and

665
00:39:13.639 --> 00:39:16.880
you don't truly know this person, you've truly met this person,

666
00:39:16.960 --> 00:39:20.679
you truly don't really have a reason to trust this

667
00:39:20.760 --> 00:39:24.559
person because you have no formal relationship, like you haven't

668
00:39:24.639 --> 00:39:27.039
you don't know them. They're like, they're not a person

669
00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:28.679
that is a friend of a friend, and they're not

670
00:39:28.760 --> 00:39:30.760
a person that you actually spent time with in the

671
00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:35.880
physical world. These are all red flags, okay. And and

672
00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:38.639
even though the pain and the ache of loneliness is

673
00:39:38.679 --> 00:39:40.920
beginning is beginning to dissipate because you are now are

674
00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:44.920
this relationship that doesn't necessarily mean you're in a relationship

675
00:39:44.960 --> 00:39:49.199
with somebody who actually has your best intentions. Yeah, So

676
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:51.920
when I when I talk to banks and credit unions

677
00:39:51.920 --> 00:39:54.800
all the time, they tell me, like, there isn't a

678
00:39:55.159 --> 00:39:57.360
day or a week that goes by that they don't

679
00:39:57.400 --> 00:39:59.920
have clients that come into the bank that are why

680
00:40:00.039 --> 00:40:03.239
hiring thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars to somebody

681
00:40:03.280 --> 00:40:06.639
overseas because they think that they are in an actual

682
00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:11.599
romantic relationship with this person. And sometimes that same person

683
00:40:11.679 --> 00:40:14.360
comes in month after month after month, and the bank

684
00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:17.519
employees say to that person, this is a scam, like

685
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:20.320
you're not actually in a real relationship with this person.

686
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:24.039
Have you ever actually met them? And in the employ

687
00:40:25.159 --> 00:40:29.079
the bank client says, I don't care. I don't care,

688
00:40:30.320 --> 00:40:34.079
And why don't they care because they're not lonely. They

689
00:40:34.119 --> 00:40:37.599
don't even care about the money. They don't care about

690
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:41.719
the money. They're just not lonely anymore, and that's all

691
00:40:41.760 --> 00:40:44.440
that matters to them, you see what I mean. So

692
00:40:46.119 --> 00:40:50.360
it's important that we as friends and family of somebody

693
00:40:50.360 --> 00:40:54.559
who could potentially be lonely. We intervene, interact, engage and

694
00:40:54.639 --> 00:40:57.159
find out what's going on, have a certain say over

695
00:40:57.199 --> 00:41:01.599
their finances. Maybe like just provide them like the social

696
00:41:01.679 --> 00:41:05.519
interaction that they might need to find somebody locally right under.

697
00:41:06.800 --> 00:41:09.880
This is a problem for people who have lost their spouse,

698
00:41:10.039 --> 00:41:18.079
older people who are going through a massive adjustment.

699
00:41:18.360 --> 00:41:20.920
It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's awful.

700
00:41:21.480 --> 00:41:24.039
I have a good friend who you know, he's a

701
00:41:24.079 --> 00:41:27.400
colleague of money. He's a financial advisor. And his dad

702
00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:30.239
died in his like mid sixties, and so like his

703
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:34.280
mom retired widow, you know, like after about a year,

704
00:41:34.599 --> 00:41:36.400
Like he's at her house, you know, with the grandkids

705
00:41:36.440 --> 00:41:38.320
and they're just like having a Sunday dinner or whatever.

706
00:41:38.719 --> 00:41:40.880
And he sees his mom's laptop like on the on

707
00:41:41.000 --> 00:41:43.519
the counter, and it kind of like is like kind

708
00:41:43.559 --> 00:41:45.039
of going through it just to kind of like check

709
00:41:45.079 --> 00:41:46.840
on her a little bit. And he sees like she's

710
00:41:46.880 --> 00:41:49.079
on Facebook. He seems like she's on match dot com.

711
00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:51.440
And he's he kind of got like a little upset,

712
00:41:51.519 --> 00:41:53.079
you know, because like his dad had died and everything.

713
00:41:53.119 --> 00:41:54.840
He's like, Mom, what are you doing? And she's like

714
00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:57.679
I'm an adult, Like I feel lonely sometimes I just

715
00:41:57.760 --> 00:41:59.840
want to, like, you know, meet somebody. And he's like

716
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:01.920
right or right, his you know, his mother kind of

717
00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:03.960
gave him a lashing and all. And then he calls

718
00:42:04.039 --> 00:42:05.599
me like three months later, he's like, dude, I got

719
00:42:05.639 --> 00:42:08.559
a problem. He's like, my mother apparently like she met

720
00:42:08.599 --> 00:42:11.679
this guy on Facebook who like was a colonel in

721
00:42:11.760 --> 00:42:15.000
the army, and apparently like he found it like like

722
00:42:15.079 --> 00:42:17.360
a big trunk of money and like one of those

723
00:42:17.519 --> 00:42:20.239
spider holes in a house that they invaded. He's like,

724
00:42:20.719 --> 00:42:24.400
and and my mom like was in this relationship with

725
00:42:24.480 --> 00:42:26.960
this guy and he and he needed my mother's help

726
00:42:27.039 --> 00:42:31.800
to get the money out of Afghanistan. Oh jeez, how

727
00:42:31.880 --> 00:42:34.760
much money do you think that she wired overseas?

728
00:42:35.119 --> 00:42:36.159
Oh? Did she really?

729
00:42:36.920 --> 00:42:38.599
How much do you think? Oh?

730
00:42:38.800 --> 00:42:41.239
I don't know, I hope not more than a couple thousand.

731
00:42:41.320 --> 00:42:42.119
How much does she do?

732
00:42:42.760 --> 00:42:45.199
Two hundred and thirty five thousand dollars?

733
00:42:45.320 --> 00:42:45.440
Oh?

734
00:42:47.480 --> 00:42:49.840
Okay, this is a friend of mine. I mean he

735
00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:54.719
threw up when this happened. He physically threw up. He

736
00:42:54.880 --> 00:42:58.599
was ill for days. She was upset, more so because

737
00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:02.880
she didn't want to believe that the guy that she

738
00:43:03.000 --> 00:43:06.719
was in a relationship was actually a fraud, and there

739
00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:10.320
was her son had a hard time explaining to her

740
00:43:10.400 --> 00:43:13.159
that this is fraud, Like she didn't want to believe it. Yeah,

741
00:43:13.599 --> 00:43:16.480
and but but like what happened to her is kind

742
00:43:16.559 --> 00:43:20.519
of perfectly natural and normal. It's not okay, it's not good,

743
00:43:20.760 --> 00:43:25.519
but that's like what we do. But like we are

744
00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:31.119
capable of understanding this, and we're capable of intervening early on.

745
00:43:31.800 --> 00:43:37.199
We're capable of like engaging in vulnerable loved ones that

746
00:43:37.360 --> 00:43:40.760
might like be in a situation. So it's it's important

747
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:43.960
that like we recognize this about certain people in our

748
00:43:44.000 --> 00:43:46.960
lives and we kind of like do what's necessary. And

749
00:43:47.039 --> 00:43:49.079
then you know, and then might be situations where you

750
00:43:49.199 --> 00:43:51.400
can't just do you just can't do anything. They're just

751
00:43:51.480 --> 00:43:53.639
gonna do what they're gonna do. And that's that like this,

752
00:43:54.039 --> 00:43:57.159
sometimes you just can't, but sometimes you can. And and

753
00:43:57.440 --> 00:44:00.400
you know, two hundred and thirty five thousand dollars, you know,

754
00:44:01.320 --> 00:44:02.880
I think I might have done a little bit more.

755
00:44:06.400 --> 00:44:10.239
Well, Robert, as we suspected, our time is gone.

756
00:44:11.960 --> 00:44:14.920
I know, there's so much to talk about as we

757
00:44:15.119 --> 00:44:15.639
wrap up.

758
00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:20.960
What's your biggest message of hope. How can people move

759
00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:26.440
from fear and anxiety about scams to feeling empowered and protected?

760
00:44:26.719 --> 00:44:28.639
Well, first and foremost, if you're listening to this, if

761
00:44:28.639 --> 00:44:33.719
you're watching this, share this which as many people as possible. Okay,

762
00:44:34.800 --> 00:44:36.840
knock some sentence to some of the people that need

763
00:44:36.880 --> 00:44:40.119
a little more sensibility and common sense. Right, and then

764
00:44:40.760 --> 00:44:43.320
every time the phone rings, be suspect, every time you

765
00:44:43.360 --> 00:44:45.159
get an email, every time you get a text message,

766
00:44:45.480 --> 00:44:48.960
look at that and go, yeah, I don't think so, really,

767
00:44:49.519 --> 00:44:52.679
you know, do the basics. Get a credit freeze to

768
00:44:52.719 --> 00:44:57.079
protect your identity, set up push notifications fear credit cards.

769
00:44:57.639 --> 00:45:01.639
Set up two factor authentication for all your critical websites. Right,

770
00:45:02.360 --> 00:45:04.480
set up push notifications for your credit cands. If I

771
00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:08.239
can't already say that, right, password manager, and you should

772
00:45:08.280 --> 00:45:13.079
be good. Do those basic things like you you're good,

773
00:45:13.239 --> 00:45:15.280
not even yeah, you're good.

774
00:45:15.960 --> 00:45:19.880
Yeah. Well, I do feel like this is important enough

775
00:45:19.960 --> 00:45:22.679
to bring it to the forefront. We're probably going to

776
00:45:22.719 --> 00:45:26.480
have another conversation because I want I want this to

777
00:45:26.559 --> 00:45:30.039
be an ongoing conversation, because I think people get complacent

778
00:45:30.639 --> 00:45:36.000
and I think people need to be, you know, having

779
00:45:36.039 --> 00:45:40.440
a check as to what their behavior is every day. Yeah, So,

780
00:45:41.480 --> 00:45:42.880
thank you so much, Robert.

781
00:45:43.599 --> 00:45:49.039
This is automatically trust don't automatically trusty? Yes, don't you would?

782
00:45:49.159 --> 00:45:49.800
Common sense?

783
00:45:51.199 --> 00:45:56.920
Yes you should, common sense be smart thinking about all

784
00:45:57.000 --> 00:45:59.320
of those different things. If you and like, if you're

785
00:45:59.320 --> 00:46:01.920
a senior and your spouse has died, go to the

786
00:46:02.440 --> 00:46:06.639
Senior Citizens Center, go to the YMCA. Go someplace where

787
00:46:06.679 --> 00:46:08.000
you can connect with people.

788
00:46:08.840 --> 00:46:14.840
Not online, not online, no, no, nope, God Go to

789
00:46:14.960 --> 00:46:18.480
the library. Sign up for every library within a fifty

790
00:46:18.519 --> 00:46:21.159
mile radius of where you live, and go to all

791
00:46:21.239 --> 00:46:24.840
the They all offer free classes, free seminars, free free things.

792
00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:28.719
Go to every single one of them and meet people, socialize,

793
00:46:28.760 --> 00:46:32.199
get out of the house, right right, Okay.

794
00:46:32.599 --> 00:46:37.559
Robert, love you. Thank you so much for joining me today.

795
00:46:38.280 --> 00:46:42.199
This has been awesome and hopefully we have had you

796
00:46:42.519 --> 00:46:46.159
ask some good questions about your own personal behavior in

797
00:46:46.199 --> 00:46:49.159
this area. So thank you so much for joining the

798
00:46:49.320 --> 00:46:50.920
Ask Good Questions Podcast.

799
00:46:51.559 --> 00:46:51.880
Thank you.

800
00:46:55.400 --> 00:46:59.000
Today's episode is over, but we did ask good questions again,

801
00:46:59.119 --> 00:47:02.159
they didn't. I don't miss out as we broadcast live

802
00:47:02.480 --> 00:47:06.199
every Wednesday, six pm Eastern Time on W four CY

803
00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:10.559
Radio at w fourcy dot com. Joined Vanina Bellen. We're

804
00:47:10.599 --> 00:47:15.559
sing next week for more conversations with experts on finances, retirement,

805
00:47:15.719 --> 00:47:20.199
behavioral finance issues, health and wellness, and more. Until then,

806
00:47:20.719 --> 00:47:23.480
remember to ask good questions.